My top 11 things I have learned as a father. (5 1/2 year in)

In honor of Labor Day, I thought that I would compile a list from my favorite labor of love; being a father. The top 11 things I have learned as a father in the past five and a half years. Maybe the more appropriate heading would be the top 11 unanswered questions I never knew I would want to have answered.

  I naively thought that  the mysteries of all things baby would be revealed to me with each passing day as I gained experience as a father. Much like the answers to a crossword puzzle, one answer should have provided clues to the next answer. Somehow, having babies  around, has left me with two questions to every one that is answered. And having a second child has done nothing to change this, but only confirm that the questions that remain are not anomalous to my experience with one child, rather it has confirmed to me that there are some serious mysteries that need to be solved. What I have been left with now is more questions than answers. These are my top 11.

1. How can a baby poop out twice his body mass in one movement? Some days, the cumulative sum has to equal their body weight!
2. As disgusting as changing your owns kids diapers can be, why is that other kids diapers are so much worse? Maybe it's just me. Okay, I confess that I have never changed the diaper of any child other than my own, however, in my defense, I am certain that the uncontrollable gaging and eminent vomiting would get in the way.
3. Why does the word "No" induce an instant seizure like convulsion?   Sometimes I like to say it just to see the reaction. And I am not only talking about my wife! Apollo and Orion's reaction is almost as bad as their mom's!  I am still fascinated by this after all these years.
4. Why is pulling a whole spool of dental floss out of its container so stimulating for a toddler, even after the 20th time? This deserves three consecutive no's. "No! NO! NOOOOOO!" (This produces real tears, unlike #3 above.)
5. No matter how many toys that you get rid of, why does it never seem like there are any less? Seriously! I know we load up big boxes of toys and donate them, but I still cant find that freed-up space I am sure was left behind.
6. I did the math. In 2.5 years of diapers and wipes, that is about $5,000. Although I would much rather have the $5,000 in my pocket, it is still not enough money to make me want to use cloth diapers. I have seen what comes out of these little guys. No amount of bleach can erase it from my memory let alone reused cloth! why would anybody still do cloth diapers in this day and age? 
7. How many wipes does it take to clog a toilet? I don't know this answer yet, but my 2-year-old always answers "Four!" when I ask him. It sure looks like a whole lot more than four to me.
8. Why do my sons think that Hersey's syrup is called milk? Melanie, you should weigh in on this one. All I know is that real, pure, white, whole vitamin D enriched milk, is received with a gag reflex, and it best be in a sealed sippy-cup as it is often returned via airmail.
9. How do they make baby, toddler and children's clothing and shoes shrink all on their own? Honestly, you can put some thing on them one day and it is falling off of their body. You remove it, put it away without washing it, pull it out a week later and its too short! I should have bought stock in Keen or something.
10. Why is it my turn to put the baby to sleep again? Oh thats right, this 2 1/2 hour long process must  be because of my genes. The fact that my boys like to stay up late and wake up early has to be my fault. Melanie likes to remind me that Ian and Aden were sleeping 14 hours straight at six weeks old (and continue to do so at 18 and 20 years old respectively).
11. Sex? Whats that? See #10 above. If you have a wife like mine that values sleep above anything else, and offspring like mine that like to stay up until 11:00pm, I would highly recommend a live-in nanny, or possibly a grand parent that can tend to the children after 9:00pm. It is a race around here to get both kids to sleep before Melanie checks out for the night. There is a higher probability for thunder showers in Santa Rosa on a regular basis than kids falling asleep early here. 

Summer visitors

I

  Midsummers eve is but a distant memory. A reddish tinge paints the outer west facing leaves of some of the trees in my area, marking the direction from which the cool fog rolls in late at night only to hang around until the morning sun burns her way through. The days are still warm and the nights are pleasant, but there is no denying the days are becoming shorter and fall is on the horizon. Why is it that summer seems to go by so fast? It just barely gets started and before you know it,  its already over. At least in the sense that the kids are back in school. Now that I stop and think about it, we did not make it to one "movie-in-the-park" or "evening market" this summer. It is not from lack of wanting, but rather that we had that much going on. All said and done, we hosted more than five weeks of family visitors. Now that the dust is beginning to settle, we are putting our house back in order, and bracing ourselves for the onslaught of the school year. One kid is in his second year of college, another has started his senior year of high school, one entering kindergarten and a 2-year-old at home. Life can be busy and complicated around here, so we are thankful that family members are willing to travel to come and spend time with us.
  The boys were visited by 2 grandmas, a grandpa, 1 cousin, 2 aunts and an uncle. Plus we hosted a couple informal dinner parties during some of these visits. This summer kind of felt like one long party that started at summer solstice and ended with the start of school. It was so comforting to see Apollo and Orion love and be loved by their extended family. To watch them interact with everyone individually, was priceless. My only regret is that we do not see everyone more frequently.
  There were some extra memorable moments with each visitor that really strengthened the bond between Apollo, Orion, and the extended family members;
  Apollo heading out to the motorhome every morning to greet his Grandma Nana and then talk her ear off.
Orion and Apollo calling Melanie's mom, Banana Gramma.
The laughter when playing with their cousin Olivia, and the obvious affection that they have for her.
Helping Aunt Emily talk to Banana Gramma on Skype, and showing off the chickens.
Orion calling Uncle Gooch, Goochie. and Aunt Kim, Gamma (who knows why)
Nightly wrestling matches with Uncle Goochie.
Goochie teaching Apollo the word "twerking" and what it means. Thanks Gooch. Now Apollo points out all the twerkers around him. '"Oooooo! That dog is tweaking! Hahahahaha" "Dada, your a twerker! Hahahaha!"
Camping at the ocean with Gooch, Kim and some amazing family (and friend) of Kim's.
Apollo randomly hugging his Yiayia.
Orion helping papa with his cane, and walker.
Apollo and Orion taking Yiayia and Papa on walks around the block.
And just the sheer energy and excitement that the boys showed being around the family. Thank you everyone for a summer filled with fun and adventure and an excessive amount of laughter!

  

Apollo starts Kindergarten

  Life is pretty amazing.
 By life's trials or by my own genetic make up, I like to look at the big picture before I jump into something. I like to create a plan, set a goal, and look for milestones along the way. By trade, this is also what I do for a living. When I apply it to my own life, I look at Apollo and how far we have come; from an idea to an incredible life Melanie and I created together. I am filled with pride as I watch Apollo hit a major milestone; school.
  As I decided that I wanted to take on the hardest role of my life, fatherhood, I knew everything in my life would change. I knew that I would have to give up control, to an extent, and let the chips fall where they may. I envisioned a life time of being a parent; the ups and downs, the sorrow and joy, the agony of defeat and the triumph of victory. I know that I have only taken baby steps myself in parenting and I also know that I have such a long way to go before I see my sons take on the world with there own abilities, but for now, I am basking in the glory of seeing Apollo start kindergarten.
  My boys are the things in my life that I hold most dear. They are the absolute best part of me. I do not take lightly entrusting them to total strangers, and before now, Apollo has not spent more than a couple hours outside of mine or Melanie's grasp. In 5 years, he has spent only a couple nights without one or both his parents by his side. The exception is when Orion was born, in which case he was with his older brothers and his grandparents. And now, as millions of parents have done, we drop him off at a school with complete strangers, for 6 hours a day. So many thoughts run through your head of all the things that can happen that you have no control over. From the most heinous unspeakable acts of the less than savory populous, to something as simple as a scraped knee; for the first time in his life, his mom or myself are not there to protect him or embrace him when needed. It is these very thoughts that can make for sleepless nights. Kindergarten is not only a milestone for Apollo, but also for his mom and I.
 

  Apollo has had an insatiable thirst for knowledge this summer. He wants to read, and write, and do math. Melanie has given him workbooks this summer to practice writing and learning to read. He is very proud of himself when he recognizes words and can read them. For my part, I work with him on math. I found a wonderful book called Bedtime Math, and ordered it from Amazon. This has been by far the best $10 I have spent in a long time. Not only does Apollo love this book, and math within, he demands we do some problems from the book every night at bed time. They are simple story problems, but he loves them. We also use an app by the same name and I will often make up story problems of my own. I know that I don't always do everything that is right as a parent, but this is one time that I think I am doing some good.

  We are only in the first week of kindergarten, but Melanie and I are both thrilled with how well Apollo has made the transition into being a school kid. I think we were both expecting some drama and a long adjustment period.
  The hardest part for me is getting Apollo to tell me all about his day. I have to pry information out of him. After many questions, I can kind of piece together how his day went. Although I ask him repeatedly, Apollo assures me they are not teaching him any Spanish yet (in his Spanish immersion school).  ~
"So, is Ms Nelson nice?" I ask.
"It's Maestra Nelson. and she is really nice," he replies.
"Okay, sorry. Maestra Nelson then. Do you like you're school?"
"It's called escuela in español, dada," he replies matter-of-factly, "I already told you that I like it."
"I thought that they weren't teaching you any Spanish yet?" I respond sarcastically.
"They're not. I already knew those words."

Orion turns 2

 There are events in our life that are so profound, its effects are life altering. I am seldom surprised at these moments and rarely do I think, "I didn't see that coming." On occasion, the opposite is true, yet in the wake of one of these life altering events, I can look back and realize that there was no other alternative, and some things were just meant to be.
  Rewind 32 months; Wednesday, December 1st, 10:00am. Just another day in the office. I was most likely entering data into spreadsheets, looking through blue prints, and searching for product pricing. I received a phone call from Melanie. Her voice was slightly urgent, obviously irritated, and demanding. "You need to look at a calendar, and figure out a time to take me camping to the coast because I am really craving mussels and you haven't taken me to get mussels in a long time (it had been exactly 5 weeks at that point). I want to go in the next week or two, so make arrangements and call me back, so I know when we are going." she demanded.

  Now, as absurd as this might sound to someone that does not know Melanie, this sounded like the typical Melanie to me; irritated that I did not plan a trip already with out her having to ask. I did what I always do in these situations and laughed at her. "Seriously? You never call me at work, and when you do, you call to bitch about the fact that I haven't taken you to the coast in the RV to get mussels in five, maybe six weeks. Craving mussels," I chuckle,"...are you pregnant or something?" I replied sarcastically and facetiously.
  There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. My comment certainly caught Melanie off guard and I am sure that she was counting in her head in that moment of silence, "I don't think so," she replied in a somewhat subdued manner. I teased her a bit more, laughed at her, and then said "goodbye", hung up the phone and went back to work. I never thought for a moment that she could be pregnant and shrugged the whole thing off and did not think about it again that day.

  That evening, after dinner, I was sitting at the dining room table reading a magazine. I heard Melanie come down the hall, walk into the kitchen and rummage around for a bit. I heard glasses clinking and a cupboard shut. Melanie entered the room, but I did not look up. She walked over to me, set down a bottle of what amounts to cooking sherry, and a small glass. (the irony is that we don't drink, not in several years anyways). Confused, I look up. My eyes meet her tear filled eyes and she says, "I thought you might need this," as she slides the bottle towards me, and then pulls out a small plastic home pregnancy stick, with a clear "+" on it. "Congratulations, were pregnant."
  Panic, then fear, then excitement coursed through my body. These three emotions raced around inside of me in a repeating pattern until they all blended into one. I smiled, pushed away the bottle, stood up and embraced my sweet wife. I think we both laughed and cried simultaneously. This was a true, "I didn't see that coming" moment for me. You see, we were done after Apollo and made all these plans of the things we were going to do with him once the older boys moved on and it was just the three of us. I don't think I slept that night. I know that Melanie and I laid in bed talking about it for hours. Our lives were just thrown off course. I think after the initial shock, we were both super excited, yet cautious. Melanie would be barely five weeks pregnant at that point, and we didn't want to get too excited until we knew the pregnancy would last. In fact, we spent Christmas in Southern California with my family that year, and did not tell anyone until after the fact. At one point between Christmas and New Years, Melanie even thought she might be miscarrying. We both were so very disappointed. I still remember the comment Melanie made to me like it was yesterday; "You shouldn't be allowed to get so excited about having a baby growing inside you, and then have to lose it." It cut me to the core. Even though we had not planned on having another child, we wanted him so badly. In the next day or so, we visited the OBGYN and confirmed that she was indeed still very pregnant and doing very well.

 Now when I look back, we were always meant to have Orion. We needed him as much as he needed to be born. It is such a difficult feeling to put into words; that feeling of knowing someone was always there, always would be there, even before they were born. I could not have predicted that we would have another baby yet now I feel like I always new we would.
  Two years ago, Orion made his way into my arms for the first time. For the first time, I felt his warmth against my chest and my face. I heard his loud voice as he expelled his first breath. I was instantly in love. Orion was perfect in every way. The past two years have been nothing short of incredible. Our lives have been turned upside down and inside out. Orion is a powerhouse of voice, strength, and will. He has single handedly thrown our household completely out of balance and then created a new balance all his own. He challenges me everyday to be a better father, to listen better, to learn. He affects Apollo in so many positive ways and in ways that as parents, we could never have done.
  My favorite things about 2-year-old Orion, are his smile, his laughter, his adventurous and fearless nature, his facial expressions, his passion and compassion, his hugs, and that sweet voice that so amazingly communicates his thoughts and needs. My favorite phrases of his right now are;
 "Dada, I want that one right there!"

"No, not that one."
"It's not working."
"Dada! Watch."
"Help me."
"I want more please"
"Thank you, dada."
And because Uncle Gooch is in town, "Goochie! Watch!" usually Orion is standing on a couch with both hands in the air pointed like guns,, "Pkew, pkew, pkew!" (the sound of guns shooting) at which points he jumps to the ground.

  Happy Birthday Orion! I love you so much!! You are such an amazing young man and have brought so much joy and laughter into our home. Your smile lights up the whole room while your laughter fills my heart. I am looking forward to what this next year has to offer.

The sound of silence

 

There are but rare fleeting moments of silence in my world. By silence, I am only referring to the voices that fill my life with much of its chaos; the screams, laughing, crying, and bantering of children; teenagers protesting anything that is asked of them with gasps of disbelief and endless debates of which they have no chance of winning; Melanie's voice calling the teenagers names over and over again (because they act like they cant hear her) which begins to resonate like nails on a blackboard; and the very loud muffled screams of parrots that have claimed the entire garage as their sanctuary. Someone or something is always making noise around me. When the silence comes it is typically 3:00 am, or possibly all the planets have aligned. Either way, it does not last long. When it does, I savor its very essence, and listen to every sound that I can hear that is normally masked in a sonic white wash of the Miles home, only to hear familiar sounds return for a visit like an old friend.

  The wind dances rhythmically through the trees in waves of intensity and frequency. Silent in its own right, she makes her presence known by rustling the thousands of leaves on each individual tree. Joined by all the other trees that surround my house, a symphony is formed; a soft whistling from the fir tree to the west, the chattering elms on the north, fluttering fig leaves, and not to be left out, the clattering palm fronds from the neighbors house across the street. Amongst this gentle background ensemble, high in the trees above comes the melodic twirling of a song bird, interwoven with the calls of humming birds squabbling over the best flowers, their wings beating with ferocity as they zip in and out of the trees, complimented by the warning sounds of the orioles that have staked their claim to the nectar feeder. I close my eyes and breath it all in knowing that at any moment the silence can be broken with the shrill scream of a 2-year-old. Years of construction have taken their toll on my hearing, so I am amazed by what I can still hear and curious about the things that I can not. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

  Orion has the lungs of a howler monkey it would seem. His voice is loud and powerful. He can hit notes with his 2-year-old voice that can cause china stemware to shatter. It is a game in my house to see who can scream louder and longer between Apollo and Orion. In the end it is Melanie that wins the prize, even though she was not competing. Fortunately for Orion, he has a very sweet talking voice to make up for the shrill screams. He speaks with feeling and expression and always says please and thank you. But my favorite sounds are that of his new found singing voice. His favorite song to sing is the chorus of Real in Rio from the Disney/Pixar movie Rio. His version is "Rio, Rio," he belts out, "All by itself itself." he fades off into a mumble and then repeats. Of course Apollo sings right along with him.
 

Apollo can scream like a school girl when he likes, much to Orion's delight. This always gets him in trouble unless we are at the beach running from waves. Apollo enjoys screaming just to get Orion started. The two of them scream back and forth until someone stops them. We try to encourage other forms of vocal interaction and our favorite game is, 'Orion say;'. Orion will say anything that Apollo asks him to. This game goes for 5 to 10 minutes at a time offering entertainment for all within earshot.
  Orion absolutely adores Apollo and mimics everything he does and says. Its very endearing watching Orion going through the same attitude mannerisms as Apollo; instead of one kid throwing a fit, we now have two. The problem is that Apollo likes to cover his ears when he doesn't like what he is being told. Often he will even announce with a scowl on his face that he is putting his earplugs in. Orion will scowl too and then cover his ears while mumbling under his breath. I have to blame my genetics for this one. I know I sure don't want to listen to someone when I don't agree with them.

  On our most recent motorhome outing, we stayed at Sugarloaf mountain. The campground has very nice showers, so, Melanie left me in charge of Apollo and Orion and went to enjoy 20 minutes alone and a hot shower. I constantly keep my ears and eyes open for these two. I was out side the RV packing things up, while Apollo and Orion were inside playing. I could here them and see them through the doors and windows. Soon, I only heard Orion's voice. I climbed inside the RV, looked around and could only see Orion. I called out to Apollo several times, and there was no answer. I began to think that Apollo slipped outside without me noticing. My heart began to race. "Orion, where did Apollo go?" I asked. "Apollo go door," Orion replied pointing to the bathroom door in the RV.
"Apollo?" I began, "Are you in there?" I did not see any shadows moving under the door nor did I hear anything. I did not want to barge in because I know how much Apollo likes his privacy in the bathroom, and I assumed that if he was in there, he wasn't answering for this reason. "Apollo! If you are in there and don't answer me, I am coming in." I pause to listen..."Apollo?" Still he did not answer so, I opened the door, and there was Apollo seated on the thrown, pants around his ankles and hands over his ears. We looked surprisingly at one another. Without saying a word, I closed the door and backed away, then went about my business. A few minutes later, Apollo emerged from the bathroom and began to play with Orion again.
  When I heard his voice, I returned to the RV and inquired, "Apollo, why did you have your ears covered in the bathroom? Were you trying not to listen to me?"
  "Nope," he replied, "I just didn't want to hear myself poop."

    He is so my child.


  

Growth spurts

 Youth is magic. Pure and simple magic. After over 5 years watching Apollo grow from birth until now, and then Orion, I am still fascinated and astounded by how they grow, learn, and develop. Everyday my little ones add a little more shape to the essence that forms who they are. The light in their eyes gets brighter and more vibrant, and I feel the wealth of my existence magnified with each passing moment. I love watching them grow together and as individuals.

  Orion has "it"; that thing that cant be explained that just makes everything he does completely adorable. When he is happy, mad, indifferent, playful, tired...it doesn't matter, he does it with style and cuteness. Dont get me wrong, I was completely smitten with Apollo (and still am) with everything that he did, it is just that Orion has that "new puppy" kind of playful charm to him that is infectious and shows no signs of going away. He is the only person in this household that says "please" and "thank you". and he says them both consistently and for anything and everything that he asks for. And the way that he says them is priceless. Apollo, on the other hand (like his father), still feels that "please", "thank you", and "I'm sorry", are all words that show a sign of weakness, and have to be coaxed or pried out of him.

  Life is interesting around here. There is so much going on all the time. It seems chaotic at best. Life has taught me that there may be no tomorrow...no second chances. Consequently, we try to seize every opportunity that we can to do something with our kids. We run them pretty hard and try to keep them active and stimulated. Apollo and Orion both have a great amount of stamina for their ages. They are often up and ready to go by 7:00 am on weekends. We will take them on long bike rides, swimming, shopping, back home, have a water fight, play in the yard, go on an after dinner walk, read stories, work on writing (with Apollo-thanks Melanie) and they will still be going strong at 10:00 pm. Orion will usually fit in a 40 minute to 1 1/2 hour nap, but not Apollo. We consider ourselves lucky if both kids are asleep by 11:00 pm. The next morning they are up early, much to Melanie's chagrin, and ready to go again. Apollo, Orion, and I are often evicted from the bedroom in the mornings so Melanie can get a few more minutes of sleep.

I dont know if is the sunshine, exercise, fresh fruits and vegetables, or a combination of all of them, but both boys are really in full growth spurt mode. Apollo is learning to write and read, and he is really enjoying it. He has an incredible memory and often surprises me with what he knows and remembers. As an example, we were in a FedEx Kinko's making some copies, and Apollo points to the name of the  machine I was using and says, "Hey dada, that machine has the same name as your camera" (Canon). I didn't even know he had looked at or noticed the name plate on my camera before. His brain is like a sponge at the moment. He will not settle for a child's answer for anything. By this I mean, I cant tell him things like, "That's just the way it is" or "That's just how it was made."  I can't even tell him "I don't know." Apollo will get mad and demand that I explain things to him and in detail. He keeps me in check with this behavior. I cant just brush him off with a simple answer.

  Orion is in high gear physically and mentally. I swear he has grown an inch in the past week. The past 3 weeks has been an explosion in the speech department as well. He will repeat any word he hears. Apollo asks him to say all kinds of words and Orion will repeat them right back. The cool part is that Orion adds many of these words to his vocabulary and has really advanced his ability to communicate his needs and desires. I am completely blown away by how fast his language ability has progressed the past few weeks. "I wan' this one", "I wan' try", "I wan' play", "this one mine", "I wan' go ride car", "Marmi (Remi), go outside!", "Dada! No night-night!","Where mama?"... these are but a small sampling of his regular phrases. The show stopper for me is "help me." It absolutely melts my heart to hear him say, "Dada, help me." He will use this phrase when he is climbing up on something, trying to reach something beyond his reach, or if he cant get a toy to work. "Dada, it not working. Help me." I love this.
  What I was not ready for is that Orion really understands what "help me" means. I must admit that I was choked up at one point. Orion started to get sick today and began to cry and fuss. In the sweetest little weakened voice he said, "Dada, tummy oweee..." as he points helplessly at his stomach, "...help me dada, help me."

  

The Quest for kindergarten

  In 1973, I entered the public school system. Things were so much different back then. I lived an equal distance away from two elementary schools as a child growing up in Upland, California, yet there was never any question as to which school I would be going to. You were assigned a school based on which street you lived on. Certainly there were private schools, but I had only heard of them while attending elementary school and never knew anyone that went to one...at least not on an elementary level. A picture of nuns smacking kids across the knuckles comes to mind as evidence of the stories that I once heard back in those early days about private schools.

Fast forward exactly 40 years; it is Apollo's turn to enter kindergarten. I cant even tell you which public school Apollo would be assigned to, because I really don't know. We literally have an elementary and middle school about 12 houses away, but they are not public schools, at least not anymore. They have transitioned into charter schools where enrollment is not automatic nor is it guaranteed. For the past two plus years, we had been doing an informal search for where we wanted Apollo to attend school, what type of school, and what curriculum, and programs they would have to offer. The amount of choices were overwhelming; public, charter, magnet, academy, Waldorf, language immersion...etc.
  I deliberately left out homeschooling as this was not an option that we wanted to consider. I confess that I have had very strong opinions against homeschooling as I have worked with and employed people that were home schooled, and have found them extremely socially awkward, and unable to cope with slightly stressful situation, constructive criticism, nor did they have the ability to filter thoughts or emotions when needed. Now, before a lynch mob forms to take exception with my stereotyping comments, I have modified my opinion on homeschooling substantially, as I have seen some incredible kids being home schooled by incredible parents. I admit my sampling of home-schooled adults was small, but no less than 15 individuals, however I can safely say 100% of them fell into the parameters that I have mentioned above. That said, I feel there is a new generation of home schooling parents that are doing it right and making extraordinary efforts to socialize their children. I can certainly see the appeal to wanting to homeschool in light of all the horrors that this world has to offer. Who can blame anyone for wanting to protect their children. Still, for Melanie and I (and our sanity), we have decided against homeschooling. We would, under certain circumstances, reverse that decision, but for now, we will pass.
  One of the things that I was amazed by, was the cost of some of the private schools in our area; Over $20,000 annually for K through 5th, and over $23,000 for 6th-8th! Wow! Yes, some of these schools offer scholarships of upwards of 50% in some cases, but the cost is insane, in my opinion. I do not dispute the fact that these are amazing schools, but at this point I would rather save the money for college.

  By eliminating tuition based private schools, this narrowed our search down a bit further. Charter schools offer a certain amount of appeal to Melanie and I, and we are not totally against the public school system, but we wanted to make sure that we gave Apollo (and Orion, in a few years) the best opportunity to thrive in this rapidly changing world. We explored the world of charter schools, but then we heard about Spanish -immersion schools. This sounded like it might be what we were looking for. Upon asking around, we found that several friends had their children enrolled in the school we were interested in. I interviewed the parents and their kids and become even more interested but still had many concerns. The school teaches all courses in spanish from K-2nd grade and then they slowly start adding in english in the 3rd grade. By the time they finish 8th grade, the students are completely bi-literate, not just bi-lingual.
  In our quest to register for Cali Calmecac Language Academy, we had to also register for another school as Cali always had more applicants than available spaces. Our second choice was the charter school just down the street.
  The registration process began in January. We attended an orientation for the charter school district in which the charter elementary school down our street is part of. Prior to this, I had imagined walking Apollo to school, right down the street. Attending a school in his neighborhood, just as I had done. San Miguel school is a great school and we would be happy having Apollo go there. But honestly, after attending the orientation, Melanie and I both felt like we had just attended a sales meeting. It just seemed weird, and didn't feel right. However, the following day, we registered Apollo for this school and ultimately, he was accepted. Next came registration for Cali Calmecac Language Academy, followed by two mandatory orientation meetings spaced a month apart. Both meetings gave us "points" which increased our odds of getting Apollo in. Although Melanie was not able to attend either of these meetings, I was able to make it and honestly, I was impressed and excited. I didn't feel like I just left a sales pitch for a time share. They laid out their curriculum, showed statistics, told us what was expected from the students and parents, and answered questions. They explained the program, how it works, why it is beneficial, the expected progression of learning, etc.. I am a facts and data person so this was the tangible information that I was looking for. I had made my decision and Melanie was on board as well. We wanted Apollo in Cali.
  The way many of these schools work, is that there is a point system that is used to qualify your child for a space in a particular school. Cali Calmecac has a total of 5 points based on the following criteria; 1 point if your parent works for the school or district, 1 point if your sibling already attends the school, 1 point if you live within the district, and one point for each meeting that you attend. Apollo only received 2 points for the meetings I attended. Basically, all the 5 and 4 points get in. This year the 3 pointers who had siblings in the school got first dibs, but the rest of the 3 pointers went to a lottery system along with the 2 and 1 pointers. On top of this, special consideration is taken in regards to the native language of the student. Each kindergarten class is made up of 50% Spanish only speaking and 50% English only speaking students. So, the lottery is divided into 2 groups accordingly to keep this 50/50 ratio. The lottery was not public and we had to wait for a post card sent in the mail to find out if Apollo got in.

  Two long months went by. Finally, I pulled a card out of the mail that stated; We regret to inform you that Apollo Miles was NOT accepted into Cali Calmecac.What a disappointment. My heart sank. San Miguel is a good school, and it is close to home, small classes, only 425 kids in the entire school...we would make it work.
  Not willing to go down with out a fight, Melanie and I began a campaign which we could have called "Operation: Squeaky Wheel". It began with an email from me to the school admissions department, conveying my disappointment, and how we had hoped that Apollo would get into this school. I went on to convey that we knew several students and that Melanie provided child to care to more than one of these students on a regular basis, which involved picking them up from the school every afternoon...and so on. I asked that Apollo be placed on a waiting list for any openings that may come up.  Melanie followed up with a phone call, and then a couple of "in-person" office visits. We had our friends that had students attending Cali, make it a point to stop in to the office and let them know that they needed Apollo to go to Cali, so that they could ensure that their daycare provider would still be available to them. After a month of this, I sent one last email explaining that Apollo had a kindergarten evaluation date and time set up prior to being denied, and asked if I should still bring him in case an opening became available. The response was short and clear; "There has not been any changes in enrollment, so you do not need to bring Apollo in for an evaluation at this time."

  I had almost given up hope and began to concede to defeat. The week of evaluations came and on Friday of that week, we received a call from Cali that a student was deemed as "not kindergarten ready", creating a vacancy. They asked us to bring Apollo to the school immediately for an evaluation. Melanie rushed Apollo to the school. We were both concerned about this last minute meeting. Apollo can sometimes be extremely shy when meeting a new person and may chose to ignore them. I had such an adrenaline rush thinking of how he may or may not act with the evaluator. I was on the road this particular day and was awaiting news from Melanie. One hour went by...then another 30 minutes. I began to call and text Melanie to see how Apollo did. No reply came. I tried again...nothing. I started to get sick to my stomach thinking that Apollo froze up and they did not let him in and Melanie was avoiding me so she did not have to let me down. 3 hours have now passed. My calls are unanswered, my text's have not been replied to. My messages sent on Facebook have not been replied to either. 5 hours later, I make it back to my office, pull up Facebook to send my wife a nasty message, and there posted on her wall for the whole world to see, before her husband, that Apollo passed his evaluation and was accepted to Cali!!

  My excitement was quickly overtaken by anger and kind of overshadowed the glory of the moment. Seriously? I had to find out on Facebook the outcome of one of the most important events in Apollo's life to date. I am a grudge holder and I will get even with Melanie for this. I will be bribing her sisters to keep her out of the loop on the birth of her next nephew or niece and not tell Melanie anything until she finds a post about it on Facebook. Maybe then she will realize how irritating this was to me. Okay, I know that her sisters probably wont play along, but I will find a way to return the favor...someday!
  Felicidades Apollo! Su viaje ha comenzado! (In a few years, you can correct my poor Spanish grammar)