The hidden beauty of time well spent

The late afternoon winter sun shinning through the barren, twisted, oak trees which line the road, cause a mesmerizing strobe effect reminiscent of an old projector playing home movies. The air is soft and cool, laden with the smell of moist earth, redwoods, and bay laurel. This is home. Or at least it has been for nearly 4 1/2 years now. We really do live in a beautiful area and it is on drives like these, to and from job sites, that I discover the hidden beauty that surrounds the area. It has been a hectic few months and often a drive to and from a job site is the only thing that keeps my sanity in check on work days. I may have never discovered some of these places had my job confined me to a desk for 8 to 10 hours per day, so I see this as one of  the perks of my job.

 A new year has begun. Apollo's Kindergarten year is half over. I am not sure how I feel about this new year. I am actually kind of numb at the moment. For the past 5 years, by the time new years eve has arrived, I have been more than thrilled for the year to come to an end. I have had some of the best times in these five years, but also some of the most stressful and trying. By the time the year is over, I am so done with it. I am hoping that 2014 is the turning point. I am ready for the pattern to be broken.

  One of my biggest concerns is how Apollo and Orion will view their childhood when they are older. I want them to always look fondly back at their youth and remember being happy and having fun. So far, I feel that we have mastered that aspect of it, but with great effort. Even when I find myself in the middle of busy time period, I try to think of fun things we can do with the boys. To make up for the long work days, and working part of the weekend, we try to fit in short afternoon or day trips to the beach, or on a hike, or even an evening "Picnic" in the front room so we can all be together even if it is just to watch a movie. I live for this type of quality time with my boys and Melanie, and I feel that sometimes it is the simplest things that they will remember the most.

   Apollo is doing great in school and enjoys it for the most part. He has really come out of his shell since the begging of the year. He started off as a shy, timid kid that would avoid eye contact with his teacher, and often look away and ignore her (rather than facing the discomfort of talking to an adult), to being almost extroverted at times. Some of his moms genes are kicking in I suppose. I am enjoying watching him make new friends and learning how to interact with other kids.

  From nearly the first week of school, Apollo has made one very special friendship; Jasmine. He was really taken by this animated and energetic young lady. For weeks when I asked him about his day he would only talk to me about Jasmine and what they did together at school. His face would light up when he talked about her.
   I was able to take Apollo to school one morning this past fall. I watched and waited as he lined up with his classmates, waiting for the teacher to come and lead them to class. Out of nowhere, this young girl ran up to Apollo and threw her arms around him, "Apollo! Your here!" She laughed in delight as she smothered Apollo in hugs and kissed his cheek. Apollo beamed. This was the first time I saw Jasmine and immediately knew that this had to be her. The other kids in the class laughed and giggled at the spectacle even though they see this happen nearly every morning. For me, it warmed my heart. I loved seeing this and I am sure I had a smile on face for the rest of the day.

 At Apollo's first parent teacher conference, I learned that Apollo and Jasmine were nearly inseparable and often, as a duo, they could be very hyper and disruptive. However, they were both also at the top of their class and were both respectful when asked to tone it down a bit by their teacher. In the months that followed, we have befriended Jasmine's parents and have had a few play-dates with our kids. On the first play-date, I learned that Jasmine had given Apollo a nickname; Marshy. We really have not been able to determine how Jasmine came up with that name for him, but it is very endearing to hear her call him Marshy. As far as first time school friends go, Apollo and Jasmine are about as tight as you can get. As time goes on, I hope Apollo maintains and nurtures these types of friendships. I want him to remember the special hugs, special attention, games, and fun times they shared with each other. I want him to realize someday what a special friendship he had with this wonderful young girl.

  Orion continues to grow like a weed. He is such a joy to be around and is so quick to share a smile. This kid is resourceful. There really is nowhere in our house that he feels is out of his reach. He is a climber and uses chairs and barstools as his personal ladder to reach anything that he wants inside the house and out. There is a sound we know all to well; a barstool being slid across the floor. That is a warning sign that Orion is about to get into something that he shouldn't.  His determination is commendable. It is interesting to me to watch how independent Orion is, and at the same time he wants to help and be a part of everything. He does not want you to help him, he only wants to help you. And an incredible helper he is. We have a front loader washer and dryer set, and Orion loves to unload the washer and stuff the clothes into the dryer. There is nothing cuter than seeing this tiny little guy reach his entire body into the washer to scoop up an armful of clothing and then shove them into the dryer. There is no stopping him either. You just have to step out of the way and let him do it. When I do maintenance on the vehicles Orion wants to help with that as well. We were working on the motor home this weekend and I had to stand Orion on the front bumper and then sandwich him in between my body and the front of the vehicle so he wouldn't fall. As I was working, Orion was picking up screw drivers and wrenches and trying every nut, bolt, and screw he could reach. He never loses interest and often I am done working long before he is. He was upset when I told him we were all done, so as a reward for all of Orion's hard work on the motorhome, I decided we should take her out for an afternoon trip to the beach. Orion did his ritualistic running in place and squealing with excitement dance when I asked him if he wanted to go to the beach in the motorhome.
  The coast here is always a gamble with the weather. It is typically windy and cold. But on this day, the weather was perfect; warm, sunny, and the air was still. We played in the water, built sand castles and volcanoes, played frisbee, and as the sun dropped low on the horizon we retreated to the shelter of the motorhome, changed into some warm clothes, and had dinner as we watched the sun set. The boys and Melanie were happy and content, as was I. We were only gone for 6 hours but it was such great quality time with the boys.
  With the last light of the day hanging on the horizon, we strapped the boys into their seats and left for home. The golden sky faded to orange, then to pink and grey in my rear view mirrors. Orion smiled as I looked back at him, his eyes heavy with sleep. Apollo peered out the window that his head laid against, watching the hills go by. "Dada," he began, "Don't forget to stop and get ice-cream."
 It was a perfect end to a perfect day.

  

No greater gift

 It had to happen; Orion has hit the terrible part of his "terrible-two's." Apollo definitely hit his at an earlier age and so far, I think Apollo was much worse, or at least when he would throw a fit, it was a lot more intense. Orion, by contrast, seems to have more frequent fits, but at a lesser intensity. Orion is also more demanding in what he wants and a whole lot more stubborn. It is incredible how strong his will can be. Melanie will most likely not agree with my assessment as she is with the boys all day long, but I stand by my claim based on the "in-public" embarrassment factor, in which case, Apollo reins supreme.

  Orion is loud! Very loud. "APOLLO! NOOOO!" is one of the more common phrases heard in our house these days. Apollo absolutely relishes the fact that he can get his brother fired up. All it takes is that special way that Apollo says his name, "Oriiiiiion,"...and Orion is in full on defense mode. He knows what is coming next, "….I'm gonna get your…" And it doesn't matter what Apollo says next, Orion instantly is trying to protect that person or thing; "Don't get my mama! That's my mama!" "Don't get my truck!! That's my truck!" He can be shrill in his protest and like I said, Apollo can insert any word or words in there, i.e., dog food, chicken poop, it doesn't matter, Orion will freak out and claim it as his own.
  I must admit, that I do find it slightly enjoyable to see what Apollo will get Orion fired up about next, but by the 10th time in the space of an hour, I am done listening to Orion yelling and screaming. We try to correct Apollo's behavior by offering bribes, punishments, incentives, deterrents…but he just can't seem to find a way to stop himself. He thoroughly enjoys himself while putting his brother into a tirade. After all, what are big brothers for. I am sure I was equally relentless with my brother Gooch.
  With Christmas upon us, we have tried to use Santa as an incentive for Apollo to be on his best behavior. This tactic has failed miserably. He usually offers up his usually bargaining, negotiating, and reasoning; "Well, I will just be nice to my brother for a little bit just before Christmas, and Santa will take me off the naughty list." I am so tempted to fill his stocking full of coal.

  The magic of having your own children is that as much as they might make you crazy, they still make you fall in love with them over and over each day. Orion is the master of this. He is incredibly sweet and everything he does is adorable. Yes, even throwing a fit. He is so passionate about everything. His little heart will break just by telling him, "No."

  Apollo, in all his rottenness, can make me laugh quicker than anyone. His take on things is quite impressive to me and comical as well. Apollo has blossomed since school has started. He used to be shy and timid. Now, he is the kid that likes to be naughty when the teacher isn't looking. Melanie observed him starting a food fight by tossing food and trash into the air and then quickly acting like he didn't do anything. All the while his friends were laughing and squirming in discomfort as if they were involuntarily part of an evil plot. I couldn't be prouder.
Ultimately, his charm will earn him the rite to get off of Santa's naughty list.

Apollo is into unicorns lately and out of the blue one night he said, "Oh! Dada! I know how unicorns make babies!"
"Really?" I ask thinking to myself that this will be interesting, "how?"
"They use their horn because it is full of magic," he replies.
"Wow. How did you figure that out?" I reply.
"My brain told me," Apollo said confidently, "It sent me a message."

 On another occasion, Orion was sleeping in his car seat. Melanie, Apollo, and I were sitting in the car in front of a house looking at there Christmas light display while talking to one another. Orion began to stir in his sleep, whimpered a bit, then sobbed for a moment. We all held our breath and watched to see if he would awaken. After a moment, Orion fell back to sleep.
  Apollo announced, "He's okay. He just felt his dream and that's why he almost woke up."
I cant imagine the thought process in this kids head that brings him to his conclusions.

During the school week, I am usually the one that puts Apollo to bed. Melanie will stay up with Orion to give Apollo a chance to fall asleep. At least twice a week, I will hear Orion breakdown and start crying from the other room. I hear his foot steps and sobbing growing ever louder as he makes his way down the hall to find me. Orion will climb in bed and melt into my arms.
"Dada," he sobs, "mama mean…you spank mama's butt for Orion."
"Did mama tell you, no?" I asks with empathy in my voice.
"Yeah," he replies in his most pathetic voice, "mama tell me no…mama mean…I lock door." And yes, Orion did lock her out of our room.

  As Orion's voice slows, and his breath becomes long and regular, sleep takes him. I find the perfect moment of my day has arrived; both boys asleep, one in either arm. I am grateful for them and the love that they show me, for their health, humor, and well being. They may grow to not remember these moments; falling asleep next to me, or in my arms, but I will cherish them as a collection of precious jewels. There is no greater gift for me.

A thirst for the holidays

It has been exceedingly difficult to find some spare time to write this past month. Our agenda seems to always be overbooked. Yet so much happens on a daily basis that I would love to write about it to capture a priceless memory.
  The holidays have plowed into us full force. I love this time of year, if only for the holidays. It gives me a chance to spend extra time with my family, and also enjoy a few of my holiday guilty pleasures; pumpkin pie, Christmas lights, Christmas movies, cinnamon and spiced cider, and the smell of a fresh cut fir tree in my house. As an added bonus, I now get to enjoy watching the building excitement  emanating from Apollo and Orion as the house is transformed into a Christmas display of its own.
  With the passing of Thanksgiving, I am late in expressing my thankfulness and gratitude for my life and those that share in its adventure with me. It is easy to loose sight of how amazing life is and how much I have right in front of me, when I find myself chasing the day-to-day mundanities of career, family, and social obligations. My cup is full in so many ways. Of course I want more…for myself, and for my family. But I am eternally thankful for every moment I have with Apollo and Orion. I am thankful for their health, their bright minds, their passions, stubbornness, individuality, energy, humor, and affection.  I am thankful to be their father. These two boys have given me more than I can ever hope to give them in return. I am thankful for my wife, who tolerates me, loves me and believes in me. I am thankful for Ian and Aden even though their teenage years have been challenging. And I am thankful for my life and my health and that I am able to provide for my family.

  I watch Apollo and Orion and I am still absolutely amazed by them. By watching I mean really stepping back for a moment and watch how they approach a situation, analyze it, scrutinize it, and then find a solution on their own. It is fascinating to me because I can almost see the thought process unfolding in their young minds. In these moments, I can see how they are part of me, and also uniquely individual. They are so smart and intuitive. They both speak very well for their ages and both talk non stop.

  Apollo had his first school performance. His class sang three Christmas songs entirely in Spanish; Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Frosty the snowman, and Oh Christmas tree. Although it was fun to watch him preform with his class, I am more thrilled when he sings these songs around the house or when we are in the car. Apollo is really grasping the spanish language and for the first time, translated something that he heard in spanish and then relayed it to me. We were at the store together and two hispanic boys were talking to one another, having a dispute. They were about 8 and 10, most likely brothers. The older one turned to the younger one and said something like (and I am guessing here), "Usted es un bebé." Apollo started laughing, turned to me and said, "He called that boy a baby! That's funny! Hahaha!"

  Orion is incredible in his own right. He is so cognizant and aware of everyone and everything in this house. He is so easy to engage in conversation. He will always answer everything that he is asked. He is a great communicator for 28 months old. He talks nonstop and is very demanding. On days that he is not feeling well, the only thing we can get him to consume is chocolate milk. Which is fine because we don't put much chocolate in it and it is something at least, however, we greatly discourage bedtime milk of any kind. We have let our guard down once or twice when he was sick and it becomes a nightly battle for the next few nights until we retrain him. This week we are fighting that battle again. This is a sample of how clever this little guy is. Keep in mind that he is 28 months old;
 "Dada," Orion begins, "I want chocolate milk."
"Sorry, Orion. Its too late. Its time for sleep." I reply.
"I WANT chocolate MILK!"
  This exchange goes back and forth for several minutes, then he turns to his mom and has a similar exchange. Finally, Orion gives in and is quite for a while.
"Mama," Orion breaks the silence, "I'm dying."
"Your dying," Melanie asked alarmingly.
"Yeah…dying," Orion says solemnly.
"Why do you think your dying?" Melanie inquired further.
"I'm scared. I'm dying,"
"What scared you?" Melanie asked with real concern, "Why do you think your dying? Do you want to say a prayer?"
"Yeah prayer," Orion says very solemnly, then folds his arms and bows his head, "I'm dying…thirsty."
"Your dying of thirst?" came Melanie's relieved and slightly condescending voice.
"Yeah," he says, "I dying thirsty!"

  

A good beginning

 Being a parent is exhausting. Every moment is centered around your children. I dare not use the words "spare moment" as there never is. Every extra minute you find for yourself is stolen from time that could be spent with your kids, or it is stolen from the time you should spend sleeping. Alas, I find myself writing after everyone else is asleep. I am not complaining, although it may sound very much like I am. The rewards far outweigh the sacrifices. We put every bit of effort into our children when they are young, and the payoff may take years to see. You blame your self for their shortcomings, pat your self on the back for their successes, and smile when you see them think for themselves. But in the end, they are like a wind up toy; you wind them up for their entire youth, and then let them go and choose their own path.
 

It is the first work day after the end of daylight savings time. It is lighter in the morning on my way to work then it has been in weeks. The air is cool, the sky clear, and leaves blowing softly from the trees and landing in the road before violently being twirled back up into the wake of the cars headed towards me. I find that I am a bit anxious. On my mind is Apollo's first parent-teacher conference. I am nervous about what his teacher will say. I am worried that he will need improvement in so many areas. I am worried that there will be behavioral issues. I am certain that his mom will point the finger at me for all of his shortcomings.
  The day drags on and at 1:30pm, I race to the school to meet Melanie, Orion and Apollo. I check the time every couple minutes as it nears 2:00pm. I pace. Melanie mocks me. I pace some more. The door opens. We are greeted by Apollo's teacher and invited into the classroom. My heart races! This is it, the moment when all my sins will be exposed. Will it be his sarcasm?…name calling?…teasing or bullying?…maybe his teacher will recommend a tutor to get him caught up to the rest of the class. I take my place in the hot seat and wait for the condemning eyes to fall upon me.
  "Yes…Apollo…" Maestra Nelson begins to speak, "lets see here..." She shuffles some papers around and then pulls out his test results and progress report for the first trimester. My heart stops beating. I hold my breath, then slowly exhale. She begins to speak and tell us about Apollo's progress. For the next few minutes, while she is speaking, I find myself looking at the report to make sure it was Apollo's, as the teacher spoke to us about his test results.
  It would seem that Apollo is a rather bright young man. He aced every subject with flying colors. Keep in mind that he is taught 100% in spanish. Now I find myself feeling flush with embarrassment. I did not expect such a good report. I know my son is amazing, but I am certainly biased in my assessment of him, and I often feel that I am the only one that thinks he is as smart as he is. At one point his teacher, Maestra Nelson, asked if Apollo went to kindergarten last year, obviously impressed by some of his abilities. I could not have been any prouder than I was at that moment. Yes, I know this is only kindergarten and I know that it is only his first trimester, but it is nice to see that all our hard work is paying off. It is reassuring to see him start off his years of learning on such a strong note.

  Melanie has done such an amazing job with Apollo in the years prior to school, by reading to him, teaching him to write letters, and teaching basic skills that he would need for school. Now that he is in school, I try to do his homework with him every night, and try to keep it fun and interesting and praise him for efforts. On the nights that I work late, Melanie does his homework with him. It is a team effort to be sure. As parents, this is when we pat ourselves on the back. We have given him a good foundation and I hope we can continue to give him the tools he needs to succeed in school and in life.
  I would be remiss if I did not mention the areas that Apollo could use some improvement. Believe it or not, it is all in the behavioral area. He is not bad, nor overly obnoxious. Maestra Nelson pointed out that he can be very talkative at times, and can be a bit hyper, especially with his best friend Jasmine. Ah yes, Jasmine, I will dedicate another post to his special friendship with this delightful young lady. Next to the box that says, 'Listens to classroom instructions' Maestra Nelson wrote the comment; "Separate from Jasmine." His  teacher did say that when Apollo is out of sorts, all she has to do is ask him once to straighten up and he falls back in line immediately and stays that way. He really is a good kid and his teacher genuinely seems to adore him.

  Of course the entire time we are in conference, Apollo and Orion are playing together in the classroom. Orion yelled out a couple times. Maestra Nelson commented on how loud he was. At the end of the conference she made the comment about how different Apollo and Orion's personalities seemed to be. Orion at this point is climbing the cubbies and being obnoxiously loud.

I could tell she was in awe of his level of energy. He spends a couple hours in the class on Monday's when Melanie volunteers, but he is usually much more reserved during that time.
"How old is he?" she asked while watching Orion jumping around.
"He is two. Maybe you will have him when he starts kindergarten here in three years," I reply.
We are outside the class at this point and we are all watching Orion climb the hand rail while screaming in delight. Maestra Nelson's eyes grow wide, weary from over 30 years of teaching.
She concedes, "I think I shall retire before then."

  

A horse and an ostrich

 Each foot fall lands deliberately yet softly, breaking the silence of the cool night air, then quickly retreating into the muffled shadows of the dark as I make my way casually down the street. Any noises are quickly absorbed into the background. Everything sounds different at night to me. It is peaceful and tranquil. I consider myself a morning or daytime person, yet, when I find myself outside at night, alone, I wonder why I don't do this more often.

  The fog has returned to its nightly routing of rolling into the valley, only to retreat to the coast by mid day. It lends an eire glow to the darkness and makes the air feel even stiller yet. A pair of owls have taken up residence around our house, and it was their calls to one another, that lured me on a 4:00am walk around the block on a Saturday morning. "Hoo…hoohoo," came the call from a neighbors tree, followed by an answer from my tree, "Hoo...hoohoo." The rest of the neighborhood is oblivious to the early morning ensemble I am enjoying.
  4:00am on a Saturday. Yes I was up and on my way to work. My reason was two-fold. First to get caught up on work that I fell behind on when I took a day off to let Melanie go to North Carolina on her own, and second, I promised Apollo that I would be back home in time to take him to his Soccer game. A promise that I will not break even if it means going to work on a Saturday before the sun comes up.
  It is the time that I spend with Apollo and Orion that I relish. It rejuvenates me when I spend my days with them and now that Apollo is in school, we have a fairly regimented routine during the week, that cuts into our "special time" as Apollo calls it.

   I have some amazing conversations with Apollo during our special time. It is funny the things that you learn when you take the time to listen. Apollo noticed a horse ridding school on the way to soccer practice one evening and it started a dialogue about riding horses, why it is so costly, and how horses need a lot of space to live in. I really did not give a whole lot more thought to our conversation until Saturday morning on the way to Apollo's soccer game. We passed the now vacant horse arena, and Apollo started in,  "Dada, I know why you went to work on a Saturday," he said, "It's so you can make more money so I can learn to ride a horse."
I chuckled for a moment and then explained, "That is not exactly why I went to work today, but like I told you before, we will go horse back riding when you are a little older."
"Well dada," he replied, "we need to buy a house with a lot of land so I can have a horse. I have always wanted a horse and an ostrich you know."

I was rather amused about how sure he was with his statement. A horse and an ostrich. I guess chickens are old news at this point.
  Apollo reached a huge milestone with soccer this week. He crossed over into the fun zone. After a great practice and the encouragement and cheering on of his coach, Apollo gained a new level of confidence and excitement for the game. The switch happened when Apollo repeatedly kicked the ball in the air and right in the face of the goal keeper. It was such a proud moment for me watching him reel in excitement. Next Apollo tried his hand as the goalie and overall did a good job, but it was his level of excitement and energy that he brought, that was so great to see. In fact, he was so enthusiastic about it that he played goalie the entire first half of the game on Saturday, and I don't think he quit moving for more than a moment. He is still a bit timid and not very aggressive, but the difference is night and day.

  In the midst of helping Apollo be the best he can be, he turned the tables on me. I have been put on notice that I am "silly". Apollo told me that none of the other parents are silly and that I am acting silly because "you think you were born that way, but you weren't." Once again, I was amused by his statements, however, Apollo was not. He was pretty serious about it. This is just great; we have already reached the point where I am that annoying dad, I initially thought. I began to inquire of Apollo why I was "silly" to him and why his friends parents are not. He could not really get his point across until finally he said, "The other grown ups act like the brothers," referring to his older brothers, Ian and Aden. Alas, I understood what Apollo was talking about, so, I put a scowl on my face, acted like everything was serious, a burden, and stripped away any traces of caring or interest from my face. Apollo agreed that this is how grown ups are supposed to act, but then, 20 minutes into my role-play, he had a complete reversal; "Dada! I want you to stop acting like that. If you don't be silly again, I'm not going to stay in love with you!"
  Apollo conceded that I was probably born silly after all, and he did not want me to be like the other grown ups, at least not yet. Since then, Apollo has called me out for being silly with my voice. It turns out that he could discern a very slight change in my voice where I became ever so slightly sarcastic or patronizing. It was so subtle that I wasn't even conscious of this until Apollo pointed it out. I had to tell him that he was absolutely right and that at the time I was being "patronizing" which was way worse than silly. Now he just tells me, "Dada, your not acting normal!" This kid is going to keep me on my toes.

  Orion has a fascination right now with a radio controlled monster truck. He loves all trucks and tractors and also trains, especially Thomas and friends, but his monster truck is the favorite. He knows how to charge the battery for the truck and will bring it to me to put in the truck for him. Apollo's thing was race cars at this age, but Orion is all about big trucks and vehicles that connect, like trains or cars and trucks with trailers. I find it amusing because I was never really much of a car guy. Where the boys differ is that Orion also loves balls of all sorts, and never passes up the opportunity to kick a soccer ball around with Apollo and I. Orion will bring me a ball regularly and engage me in some sort of ball sport. Apollo likes balls, but they are not in his top 5 toys to play with when given a choice.
  One of the choices that Melanie and I made when we decided to have children is that Melanie would stay home with them at least until they were in school. We have made endless sacrifices to achieve this, but nothing is more valuable to me than having my wife home with our children. It has been five and one half years since Melanie left the workplace and besides all the obvious benefits of having a stay-at-home mom, we are now reaping the benefits of Melanie being able to volunteer one day per week in Apollo's class. The best part about this is that Orion gets to come too. He gets to act like one of the big kids and gets to participate in all the classroom activities with his brother. The added bonus is the exposure to spanish. He picks up a few words here and there, and always likes to parrot everything Apollo says; English or Spanish.

  As it is often my duty to put the boys to bed, our routine usually involves a couple of stories followed by song time. Apollo relishes a good story and loves to listen while Orion, on the other hand, likes to climb around and act wild, returning every few seconds to point at a picture and say, "Dada, whats that?" It is the song time that peaks Orion's interest. Somehow, Jingle Bells has become his favorite song. I really think that he likes the alternate verse about batman smells and the joker got away, the best. Needless to say, I usually have to sing this song four or five times per night. The benefit of song time to me is to hear Apollo and Orion break out in random songs together singing songs they learned at bedtime. This happened in the car the other day. Melanie was with us and she told me that Orion does not like her singing and will not let her sing…at all. I told her that she was nuts and agreed to try an experiment. Orion asked me to sing Jingle Bells, so I started and Apollo and Orion Joined in followed by Melanie. No sooner than Melanie started in, Orion screamed out, "MAMA, NO! Stop! …No Sing Mama!"
When I stopped laughing I encouraged Melanie to try again; the result was the same. I admit that I tease Melanie about her singing, but I will have to say that it is not bad enough for a 2-year-old to dislike. Maybe he feels singing is a man thing.
   Singing is one of the things the boys will cooperate on but the rest of the time, Apollo sure knows how to push Orion's buttons. Two things are guaranteed to get Orion fired up; "Orion, I'm gonna get your (insert any word here; monster truck, mama, dada, etc)" Apollo will taunt him in his teasing voice.
"Noooo! Miiiiiiiiine!!" Orion will yell and come running from the opposite side of the yard or house and will be ready for a fight.

The other way he likes to get Orion fired up is by telling him in the same teasing voice; "My Dada!"(or mama, or yiayia) Orion is instantly on the defensive and the end result is two boys piled on top of me, hugging me while trying to push the other out of the way.
First Apollo chimes in,"My Dada!" Then Orion, "NO, Its MY Dada!"
This dada is all smiles.


  

Fall and fútbol season

The sound of wind gusting through the trees, wine bottle lanterns clanging softly as they sway to and fro from the patio cover, and the warm air as it rushes through the screen on the patio bedroom door, passing like a wave over my body starting on my shines and finishing at the top of my head; every hair tingling my skin in its wake. It is fall in Sonoma county and some of the best weather of the year. I have two tired boys passed out next to me, one on either side, their bodies motionless, chests rising and falling softly with each slow and slumbering breath. It is these fleeting moments that I wish I could bottle every sensation, emotion, and feeling and save it just to savor it on demand. I would label the bottle, "Perfection." It is these moments that I realize nothing else in this world matters, but this perfect moment. These two boys of mine, my Alpha and Omega, are all that I need to make my life complete.
 

I realized that this night is the first in two years, two months, and four days of life for Orion, to be without his mom. We sent Melanie off to North Carolina to meet her newest nephew, Sebastian Ko, so it is just us boys left to our own device for the next few days. Orion is a major mama's boy and will often refuse to fall to sleep unless his mom is in the room, and if she does not come, it can be several hours of battling sleep before he admits defeat and lets exhaustion take him. This was a real point of concern for me once he realized his mom was gone. Orion has absolutely amazed me with his level of comprehension. We have been telling him that his mom would be gone for three days, however, I did not really expect Orion to understand that. Orion woke up the next morning, looked at me and said, "Dada. Mama gone three days." and that was that. We called her on the phone once and latter spoke to her on Skype at bed time. He kissed his moms face on the computer screen, said "BYE!" while waving to her and has been content ever since.

  It has become abundantly apparent that Apollo is shy and timid. He has been that way most of his life, but we had hoped it would start to fade away by now. He is just so aware and self conscious and really thinks about things too much. I do not want to change who he is, yet I want to break him out of his shell a bit. School has been helpful, however he will require a more concerted amount of effort to achieve this. Soccer seemed like a logical starting place, so I signed him up. Apollo has never been ball crazy like Orion is, and I have often tried to get him interested by trying to play catch with him or kick. Both with very limited success. Apollo takes instruction much better from others than he does from his mom and I, so I am banking on coaches and teachers to help push him over the hump. What I hoped Apollo would gain the most is the ability to let go a little bit and enjoy himself in a group or team environment. Plus the fact that the two favorite games at his school are fútbol and zombies, learning to play soccer will turn out to be very beneficial. 
  We are three weeks in to his short 6 week soccer season, and although I am enjoying every second of it, Apollo is still undecided. He has fun most of the time, but I have to confess that his mind wanders a lot and I catch him daydreaming about other things. Although he has made his way into the cluster of kids during the soccer games, and actually has kicked the ball a few times, he will also watch the ball go right by him.  It takes a lot of self control for me to just let go and not micro-coach every thing he does on the field. I want to keep it fun for him, so I have been coming up with creative ways to teach him how to play soccer on days that he does not have practice or a game. I feel the lessons he will learn in sports will be invaluable and I plan on signing him up for several sports every year. The thing is that once he gets the hang of something, he tends to excel at it, for example, riding a bike. I am not sure if he will ever be super aggressive, but he can sure kick the heck out of the ball when he tries.

  Orion's language ability is expanding daily. It is interesting watching how he learns to speak. He will repeat anything Apollo says, and will say it perfectly. I call it the parrot effect. Yet, once he learns the word and uses it on his own, he does not pronounce as clearly. Eventually, the sounds form correctly and the words begin to be intelligible. As I stated before, his comprehension is off the chart. He hears and understands everything. He will hear us talking about something as mundane as needing a towel. He will disappear down the hall and return a moment later with a towel.
We have had a fog machine in our backyard for a few days and the boys have been playing with it daily. I had to take the jug of "fog juice" and stash it in a closet. Today, the machine ran out of juice. Apollo opened up the the reservoir and said, "Its empty Orion. We need more juice." Orion ran in the house, down the hall, into our bedroom, and into the closet. Moments later he came running back outside carrying a gallon jug of fog juice. "Apollo!" he yells, "Juice!"
  My favorite moment of the week came during one of our daily wrestling/tickling matches. I had Orion in absolute hysterics. "Dada," Apollo said while laughing himself, "You made Orion over laugh."

  

A delicate balance

One thing I have learned, even before Apollo and Orion were born, is that to a child, your word is your bond. If you say you are going to do something, you had better do it or it will be held against you. It can slowly eat away at the trust that exists between you and your child as they begin to see you as not being honest, and will eventually accuse you of being a liar. So herein lies the rub; how do you keep the trust between you and your children, when a big part of who you are is sarcastic and flippant? It is a delicate balance. I feel that one of my strongest traits is that I deliver what I promise to my boys. If I promise a reward for and achievement, I will deliver. If I promise a penalty, I will stick to it. This is why I never threaten with more than what I am willing to dole out. Furthermore, I do not want to over threaten out of anger, just to turn around and let them off the hook easily. For Apollo, it can be as simple as 5 minutes without a favorite toy. At this stage it makes as big of a point as a whole week, although I have successfully done that as well, but it was not easy.
  On the flip side of this, it is the sarcasm and flippancy that gets me into trouble, because I am almost never serious and nearly always sarcastic.
"Dada," Apollo's trembling voice starts in "mama's not letting me have what I want. I want you to be rough with her."
Delighted because Apollo is speaking my kind of language now, I reply, "Okay, I'm going to be rough with her, right now! Okay?"
"Yeah but dada," he protests, "You always say that you are going to be rough to mama, and I've been watching and you never are! I want you to be rough to her for real!"
  On the one hand, I am proud that I am showing my son that no mater how unjust it may seem, you never treat a lady roughly. On the other hand, I am horrified that my son thinks I have been lying to him. Perplexed, I pondered upon this for some time and conclude that the next time, I must take action...and so I did. There was this whole graham cracker incidence that left Apollo upset. Of course I arrived on the scene just in time to "fix" the problem. I waited for the magic words, "...I want you to be rough to mama...for real." I snuck up behind Melanie, standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes, grabbed her in a bear hug around her waste, squeezed, lifted her into the air, and then shook her back and forth. Giggles came from Apollo, his friend Xavier, and Orion, and then all out laughter. I was feeling pretty smug at this moment, when all of the sudden, an angry voice breaks in, "I am holding a knife and I am looking for a place to put it!" Melanie made her point, so I set her down gently, kissed her neck and then slowly  backed away keeping my hands firmly around the backs of her elbows until I was in the "safe" zone, or what is known to a boy scout as being outside of someone's "Blood Circle".
  I admit that I enjoy living life on the edge. I take Melanie right to her tipping point and then bring her back from the edge. Now that we have children together, I can look back and realize that my personality traits, or "flaws" as Melanie likes to call them, were and are a necessary evil. I had been unknowingly preparing her all along to deal with my offspring. I admit they are a handful. Perfect to me in every way, yet in Melanie's eyes, they have inherited some of my character "flaws".  The manifestation of my essence within my boys, is the icing on the cake of life for me.

  "Mama! Come here! Right now!" Orion's forceful demeanor shines through as he makes his demands,  "I wan' hold you." he follows Melanie from the bedroom while I am trying to put him and and Apollo to sleep. Orion is an amazing little man. He is a chatterbox and a great communicator for his age. He wants to help with everything around the house from vacuuming to raking leaves in the yard. He also very forceful and demanding. I suppose Apollo was to at this age, but Orion is a lot "busier" and more hands on.
  My favorite Orion moment this summer cam in early August; My parents were in town. We were on an outing with them, and upon returning to the trusty ol' mini van, everyone was getting into their seats and Orion decided it was party time. He was climbing all about the car squealing with delight and laughing hysterically as I tried to grab him to put him in his car seat, which is located directly behind the drivers seat in the middle row. This went on for several moments, when Melanie finally corralled him on the opposite side of the van and gave him a gentle nudge towards his seat. It was instant theatrics; tears, fake crying, and fists rubbing the eyes. After 2 or 3 seconds, Orion proclaimed, "Mama, mean!"
  Orion loves to tell me about mama and Apollo being "mean" to him. With his mom, it is usually a direct result of being told, "No." With his brother, it is usually valid as Apollo loves to pester Orion. I get a full report when I get home from work and at 2-years-old, Orion is brutally honest.
  "Dada, Apollo mean. Apollo owie, right there!" He will tell me as he points to his arm where Apollo likes to pinch him.
  "Was mama mean to you today too?" I ask empathetically, holding him in my arms.
  "Yeah!" he begins, "Mama, Ori'nan, time out."
  "Do you want me to be rough to her?"
  "Yeah!" he replies and then lays his head on my shoulder in an effort to gather all the sympathy that he can. Often, I will walk up behind Melanie, and much to Orion's delight, give her a little smack on the butt.

  In Melanie's defense, I will have to say that I ask Orion nearly everyday if his mama was mean to him, and his answer is usually, "No. Mama nice, Ori'nan."

  Apollo is thriving in kindergarten. It has been over 5 weeks and we can see the effects that school has had on him. Apollo is not only more receptive to instruction from his teachers than his parents, but the benefit of seeing how other kids do things, has been an added bonus. His coloring of an object has transformed from mere scribbles across each drawing to a deliberate attempt to stay in the lines. His free form drawing has always been much better and more interesting. I think that he is a true, 'abstract' thinker. Upon inspection of a poster that his table of 6 kids made for a "Safari" event, we saw a box shaped stick person that was undeniably Apollo's art work. There were nice pictures all over the poster board, but there was also a long deliberate scribble that seamed random, and to the untrained eye, it would look like a kid scribbled over most of the poster and even over some of the other kids art work. Knowing this had to be my sons doing, I asked Apollo, "Who did this?"
  "Oh, I did," he replied proudly. Melanie's eyebrows raised, I could see the sinking feeling on her face as if to say, "Oh man, I have 'that' kid."
  "It's a safari," Apollo continued, "Safari's are adventures and you have to travel through the jungle and you cant tell where you are going." Ah yes, it all made sense, This was a road map of his safari adventure, and not some random scribbling. If only the other parents could be convinced.
  Apollo is learning the Spanish alphabet and their sounds now. He has known the English alphabet for a couple years, and also can recognize and read small words in English, but to watch him learn the Spanish letters so quickly is fun for us. It is funny because they teach him almost exclusively in Spanish, so he is used to hearing the language and can understand more than I thought he would be able to after only five weeks. I can point to something and say to him, "¿Cómo se dice en español?" Without even realizing that I asked him something in Spanish, he will answer and tell me the word in Spanish of the object I am pointing to. Other times I will call to Apollo as he is playing with his toys, "Apollo, levanta la mano!" (raise your hand) His arm will raise almost involuntarily. And of course, not to be left out, Orion will copy Apollo. "Dada," an irritated Apollo replies, "no mas! I'm not doing any more spanish today!"