Back in the drivers seat

   Life goes on. You take your punches and roll with them, and then the next move is yours. Thus begins a new chapter....After the dust had settled from Melanie's accident, we (by we, I mostly mean me) decided that a MUV (Mothers Utility Vehicle) would be a better match for us than an SUV. True, it is not as cool as a four wheel drive SUV, but our newly acquired 2003 Honda Odyssey is fully loaded complete with leather seats, heated front seats, power doors including power sliding doors, and a dvd player among many other sweet features. Melanie was not really happy about my insistence (yes you heard right, my insistence) that we get a minivan instead of another SUV, in fact when I came home after making the purchase, she was quick to point out all the things she did not like about the van and proceeded to tell me that even though she was just happy to have another vehicle to drive, she would never like the minivan as much as she liked the Explorer. That changed very quickly; on her first day driving kids around. She has now conceded that had she known how much she was going to love having a minivan, she would have wrecked the Explorer a long time ago. Hmmmm...I am not sure how to take that one.

  Apollo loves HIS new car. He is pretty sure that we bought it for him. The sliding doors are "magic" and he could spend an entire day making them open and close on their own. The dvd player is almost equally as exciting for him, and a welcome distraction for his mom and I as it allows us to have an adult conversation while a movie is playing. 

  I can not say for certain how Orion feels about the new car, but I can tell you that he shares Apollo's passion for cars...at least toy cars. We have dozens of baby toys around the house. You would think the bright colors and interesting shapes would appeal to a seven month old, but Orion would rather grab a toy car and roll it back and forth on the floor or on the wall. I relish the times that Apollo will sit down with Orion, hand him a car, and the two of them will play cars together.  

 Orion has been dubbed "Destructo", and is on a mission to destroy everything. His favorite pass time is emptying the pantry and the cupboards. Squealing at the top of his lungs, is also very rewarding apparently. I am sure he is just mimicking our parrots, much to my dismay. 

   My favorite Orion memories for this month are the genuine hugs and slobbery kisses. Nothing melts your heart more than entering the house after a day at work, and when your baby sees you, he squeals, and then crawls across the floor at full speed until he gets to where you stand and grabs your pant legs. When you pick him up from the floor he looks you in the eye's, smiling all the way up, grabs your neck, and lays his head on your shoulder. When he is done hugging you, he will lift his head, smile again, and then plant a slobbery mouth on your face. I would freeze time if I could, just to capture that feeling forever.

  As March has drenched us with nearly ten inches of rain, the rolling hillsides have erupted in green grasses dusted with yellow mustard blossoms with the back drop of deep blue skies and white puffy clouds. Spring has arrived. Everything is coming to life, and the days are getting longer.  My 44th year is about to begin along with Apollo's 4th. What I wouldn't give to be four again. I envy the care free spirit of a 4-year-old. Apollo is blossoming in his own right. I am enamored with him and his personality. He is so inquisitive and insightful. He is interested in the mechanics of how things work, and why. He enjoys taking things apart just to put them back together. He has a fascination with the stars, moon, planets, and the sun. Many evenings we have spent talking about the stars in the night sky, or watching videos about the planets. 

  Some of my favorite times with Apollo these days, is around bed time. He is winding down from his day, and we get to have some pretty meaningful conversations. He typically has questions for me and will listen intently to my answers. We talk, joke, and laugh as we lie in bed. My favorite thing that Apollo has been doing this month is in the moments prior to falling asleep. I can tell that he is about to drift off as his actions are nearly always the same. "Dada, don't go to work tomorrow, I want you to stay here." He will reach over and grab onto my sleeve, and squeeze it tightly with his fingers. His eyes are usually closed at this point. "I am afraid that you are going to leave and go to work, so I am going to hold onto you so you can't leave."....There is no more satisfying or rewarding way to end the day.

  

Next time, hit the cat

And so begins 2012! Just when you think things can't possibly get any worse, life throws you a curve ball and teaches you that it truly can get worse. It is a matter of perspective really, in how we look at a situation; is the proverbial cup half empty or half full? At this moment, I am leaning towards half empty. Well actually, I am still finding the glass half full, but it is often difficult to discern between the two.
  Just over a week ago, Melanie was driving home. It was dark, rainy, and the roads were, well, wet. What else would they be when it is raining. She was driving on a familiar street, one that she drives regularly. The road has an "S" shaped curvature to it. Of course at the exact moment she is coming off a 60° turn to the right and about to turn 60° to the left, a cat darted into the road from her left side. Melanie did a very slight swerve to the right. Unfortunately, the curve to road had began its 60° left curve, which put Melanie in the precarious position of not having enough time or distance, to swerve back to the left enough to avoid hitting a construction trailer fully loaded with old roofing debris. Had the road been straight, she would have never hit the trailer. It was the perfect storm. All the pieces fell into place at one exact moment in time, for the collision to happen. Thankfully, Melanie was not hurt in the collision, other than her ego. None of the kids were in the car, and believe it or not, I estimate that Melanie was doing 15 mph, or less at the time of impact. The air bags did not even deploy, most likely because the rate of speed at which the collision occurred and the narrow location of the point of impact. The trailer was just high enough that the point of impact was just above the bumper, which increased the amount of damage, but also helped the vehicle absorb more of the impact, making it easier on Melanie. The truth is, I think very few people would have avoided this collision had they tried not to hit the cat. If I was driving, someone would most likely be looking for a new kitty and I would not have been blogging about this. Sorry kitty.

   My cup is half full because; Melanie was not injured, the kids were not in the car, and she did not hit another person or motorized vehicle. Did we need another expense at this time? I think not. What adds to sting of life's little lesson, is the fact that in the past month prior to this incident, I spent two full weekends, and a couple evenings, endless amounts of research and reading, driving all over town for parts, and over $1,000, working on the car replacing wheel bearings, brakes, parking brakes, serpentine belt, spark plugs and wires, and a new battery. My cup is half full because I saved $1,800 by doing the work myself, plus the fact that only days after the accident, we were planning on taking the car in to get new tires. That would have been another $950 lost, had we put the tires on the weekend before the accident.
  In the end, the insurance company ended up totaling out the vehicle. An engine mount was broken from the frame, which helped put the repair cost well over $10,000. Of course the irony is, I had six payments left on this vehicle, and I was so looking forward to not having a car payment for a while. As my good friend Jeff keeps reminding me; I have gold plated problems. Thanks Jeff, but sometimes I think it is "fool's gold". My cup is half full, because as of now, I no longer have a car payment. My insurance company just sent the bank a check for $2,662 and my account is paid in full.
  And so, the search is on for a replacement vehicle. As I tuck Apollo in bed in the evenings, he has been helping look at different cars on the internet to see which ones he approves of. We have also been looking at pictures of our dearly departed Ford Explorer. Apollo has expressed to that he is sad that the car is "dead" and he has a hard time understanding why I can't fix it. "You are good at fixing things, aren't you dada?...You can fix it." Last night he finally accepted that we will not be getting our Explorer back. As we were looking at cars for sale on the internet, Apollo began to giggle, "Dada, you know what I think is funny?" "What do you think is funny?" I asked. "I think it's funny that mama's car is going to doggy heaven with Lucy, and Harold, and 'kia (Nokia)."  Yup, that is funny alright, but all I could think was; "It should have been the cat."
(Disclaimer: I truly am an animal lover, and I would never wish for anyones cat to be run over.)

This is the trailer that Melanie hit.

Flying again

 And he's up! Orion leaped up onto his feet within days of learning how to crawl. He pulls himself up onto everything; the dishwasher, couch, chairs, buckets, boxes, toys, etc.. He is on the fast track to walking. He has a ways to go with his balance and falling skills, but none the less, he is standing and moving about on his feet. Orion is into everything. He is very mobile and crawls anywhere in the house he wants to go and then gets into cupboards, or pulls himself up so he can reach things that are over his head. He is very active and is always on the move. Apollo was crawling at this age too, but he was doing the army belly crawl, and did not get up onto his knees until about 8 months.
  Orion has the most adorable baby crawl that I have seen. It is almost mechanical in nature. He spreads his hands open wide, with his palms flat, and lifts his arms very deliberately one by one as he crawls and then slaps them on the floor. I love hearing the slap of his little hands hitting the floors as he crawls about. It is the one thing I will really miss once he starts walking.
  Orion has also mastered his walker and can nearly sprint across the room when his in it. He loves the mobility that it offers  him and he follows everyone around the house... well mostly just his mom.

  All baby boys at this age are "momma's boys", how could they not be, but Orion is tenfold what Apollo ever was. Apollo was almost as happy with his dad holding him as he was when his mom held him, but Orion can hardly stand to be away from his mom.  He becomes very upset if you are holding him and he can see his mom. He will instantly go into the desperate "I need my mom" cry when she enters the room and will start arching his back and pushing off of you in an attempt to escape his captor and try to reach his mom. I swear this kid has been saying "momma" since he was 3 1/2 months old. I have to say that against all odds,  I can often over come this unjust behavior, if I take Orion into a different room, place him on his favorite position on my lap and start bouncing him on my knee, while singing softly or humming. His body will eventually relax, and sleep will finally take him. My reward as second favorite parent, is being able to hold this little sleeping angel in my arms; few moments are more precious than this. And in an instant, Orion won't be an infant anymore and I will miss these moments greatly. It seems like just yesterday that Apollo was this little and I could hold him in my arms and watch him sleep.
                                    ~~~~~~
  Spring time is erupting all over the area here. It comes early in this part of the country. What started as a dusting of yellow mustard blossoms in January, has erupted into a full on display of deep yellow rows contrasted by the brown, twisted rows of  grape vines. White calla lilies are blooming everywhere along with daffodils and orange button daisies. There are trees covered in yellow feathery flowers, and magnolia trees packed with pastel pink flowers the size of saucers. The crabapple, plum, and cherry trees are covered in blossoms and the air is filled with their heady perfume.
 I admit that I have been a little stressed out lately and had failed to see this colorful display all around me. It took a warm day and a drive to a job site with the windows down, and a gust of cherry blossom filled air. Mother nature slapped me upside the head and in an instant I realized that I had been missing one of my favorite times of the year. In hindsight, I had been seeing the flowers, but it just wasn't registering; yea, I would say I have a lot on my mind.

  Apollo enjoys the spring as well and loves the increased bee activity on the rosemary blossoms in the front yard. He likes to 'pet' the bees right between their wings. We have warned him that he will get stung one of these days if he keeps it up. His little heart will be broken that one of his "little guys" turned on him, yet his stubbornness and defiant nature, both of which he inherited from his mom, by the way (just kidding Mel), over rule the 'better judgment' part of his brain every time.
  Apollo has a keen sense of sarcasm, and enjoys using it as often as he can. "Zip it dada! I was talking to momma!", "What did you say to my face?" (Thanks Alex), "I will come over there!",  "If you keep making me mad, I am going to say really bad potty words!"...These are my favorite Apollo phrases right now. I love that in casual conversation, if he asks you a question, and you do not respond in a timely manner, he will mutter, "Not talking?" in a very condescending voice.
 I know this stuff grates on Melanie but I am very much enjoying every minute of this. It is very endearing to me.

  As Apollo nears his 4th birthday, I feel that the age of the tyrannical 3's, is starting to wind down. Melanie will probably disagree with this statement as I am sure she still believes he is a tyrant, but I must say that I have seen a change, albeit a small one. He is more articulate in his conversations. He has started to find the use of manners, and using the words 'please' and 'thank you' have their benefits. Our conversations have become more meaningful, and thought provoking. I must say that I am often astounded by the insight a three-year-old can have.
  This past week, I was watching a video on my computer while waiting for Apollo to come to bed. I was watching an extreme proximity flying video. If you have not seen one of these, basically it is people wearing a winged flight suit that jump off of cliffs and glide down through valleys and crevasses, and over the tops of the trees.
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Need4Speed: Insight from Phoenix Fly on Vimeo.

 When Apollo entered the room, he immediately said, "Dada, that is where me and you were flying! Is that you in the movie? Do you remember last day (last time) when we went flying there?" Apollo has had dreams about us flying together. I even blogged about it a few months ago. I have never done this, but being a skydiver, I am fascinated with this sport. What struck me about Apollo's comments and questions, is that his dreams must have looked very similar to this. That he believes I was really part of his dreams and that I experienced them in the same way he did. We watched a couple of videos together and the whole time he wanted to know which 'guy' was dada, which one was momma, and which one was him.
  With a few yawns and heavy eyelids, Apollo closed his eyes; "Dada, I want to go flying with you again tomorrow." And fell fast asleep.

Everlasting sunlight

Apollo and Lucy. Early 2009

For an animal lover, there are few people in this world that can touch our lives the way our pets can. We have had our fair share of pets come and go in the ten years that Melanie and I have been together, and it is never easy to say good bye. This week, we had to say good bye to our beloved Lucy. Lucy was a month away from her 16th birthday. She was the quiet, soft hearted, nurturing member of our pack. Her peaceful disposition and personality were always over shadowed by the other rambunctious members of our household.  As quiet as she was, our home feels emptier and quieter in her absence.

Apollo and Lucy on the dog bed (2009)

  February 2002, I moved to Bend Oregon. A few weeks later, Melanie and I started dating. It was in March that I was invited to Melanie's home for the first time. Upon my arrival, Melanie greeted me at the door, and forewarned me that one of her dogs, a Boston Terrier named Lucy, was a dog that she had rescued from a breeder a few years earlier and that Lucy hated men. Melanie told me that is was best if I ignored her as she would be leery and suspicious of me and it would take a while for her to warm up, if she even would at all. Eager to impress and competitive enough that I wanted to prove Melanie wrong, I entered her home ready for the challenge.  

 I soon heard the charge of two dogs hurrying in from the backyard at an urgent pace, growling all the way, ready to pounce upon this new intruder... yours truly. Nokia, Melanie's Blue Healer, instantly started wagging her tail, allowed me to pet her, then promptly ran off to find a ball, or a stick for me to throw for her. Then came Lucy. From Melanie's warning, I had anticipated a timid but aggressive little yap dog that was going to stand at the far end of the room and bark at me for an hour. Instead, I see this sweet little dog come around the corner that was so submissive, that I knew I would win her over in a heart beat. "Well hello little doggy!" I called to her as I bent over to offer up some scratches behind the ear. Immediately, Lucy's whole back end began to wag too and fro, her ears dropped and she ran up and greeted me as an old friend. I took a seat on the couch and Lucy jumped up, and plopped her body across my lap. In 30 seconds, I had won over Lucy... and Melanie. I was very proud of myself at that moment. "Yup, a real man hater, this one," I muttered smugly as I scratched the face and ears of my new dog. 

Lucy and Xerxes, December 2008

Lucy was a frisky and very sweet soul. She was so submissive though, that Nokia used to lay right in front of the dog door to block Lucy from reentering the house. Lucy would stand outside in the cold and often in the snow, shivering, just waiting for Nokia to let her in. In 2004, Diego, a Pomeranian-Chihuahua mix,came into our lives, and quickly became Lucy's advocate and would run interference with Nokia to allow Lucy access to the doggy door and the food and water bowls. As Lucy began to lose her eyesight and hearing, Diego became her eyes and ears, and she followed Diego everywhere. Diego was hit by a car and killed in 2009. Lucy stood over his lifeless body for hours, wailing. I have never seen such compassion and sorrow expressed by one animal for another. As if our hearts weren't broken enough, we had to see Lucy grieve so hard. Lucy mourned Diego for many months, and she was never really the same after he was gone.

Diego and Lucy. Bath time! (2008)

  My favorite thing about Lucy was her love of the sun and warmth. Until the day that she died, Lucy would go from room to room following the sun to lay in her favorite sunny spots as she soaked up the heat. Anytime the fireplace was on, you could find Lucy laying directly in front of it.
  Lucy had many challenges through out her life. She was plagued with seizures which is why she was retired from breeding. Her previous owner wanted to have her put to sleep because of the seizures, which is how Melanie came to adopt her. Diet modification was all that was needed to control the problem. Lucy also had several tumors removed over the years, some of them cancerous. As I stated previously, Lucy also began to lose her eyesight, and was nearly blind in the end. She has been completely deaf in the last couple years as well. Tumors began to consume Lucy's body in the last 4 to 6 months. Although not in pain, they slowly began to take their toll on this sweet soul. Lucy had one large 'mast cell' tumor that grew at a rapid rate. Melanie tended to Lucy daily, hot packing her tumor and cleaning her and dressing her in old t-shirts to cover the tumor and keep lucy from scratching it. Lucy relished in her daily grooming. We had agreed that as long as she wasn't in pain and had quality of life, we would keep her around and do what we could to keep her comfortable. We had given Lucy the nick-name of "Zombie-dog" in the last few months. It seemed only fitting with her cloudy, blue colored eyes, and tattered and often bloody t-shirts.

Lucy on Valentines Day, 2012

In Lucy's last few days, she began to develop many new "seed" tumors all over her body, began to eat less and sleep more. It was time to let her go. The veterinarian gave her one final exam, and agreed that it was time. It was a warm and sunny afternoon. The sunlight was streaming through the exam room window and rested upon Lucy's face. Melanie held her in her arms and watched as her life slipped away.
  We buried Lucy's in one of her favorite sunny spots in the yard. I imagined as she closed her clouded eyes in this world and opened her bright clear eyes in the next, she would find Nokia lying in front of the pearly gates to "doggy heaven" trying as she always did, to block Lucy from entering. Diego appeared and led her through where she was greeted by the rest of our dearly departed; Harold, Bacchus, Xerxes, Donna, and Pickles.
  Lucy, may you find the warmth of everlasting sunlight, endless fields to run through, the camaraderie of your pack, and the comfort of knowing that you are loved and missed by the ones you left behind.
 Until we meet again.

Of love and chocolate

As today is Valentine's day, I have been contemplating the meaning of love. As mushy as this sounds like this post is starting off, bear with me for a moment, and you will see that "mushy" is not my intent. 

Talking to Yiayia and Papa on Skype 

  Of course as I was pondering the word "love", my sweet wife Melanie came to mind. As I thought of her and the possibility that I might be her soulmate, I realized that to her, the title of "soulmate" belongs to chocolate. I also realized that chocolate, and peanut-butter for that matter, were and remain to this day, Melanie's first and only true love's. I arrived at this conclusion when I tried to rationalize the meaning of the word love; ~~Gives satisfaction, always available, comforting, gives intense pleasure, brings joy, happiness, and excitement at just the sight of, and always leaves you feeling good. When you are not side by side, you are missed, craved, desired, coveted, and lusted after.

Apollo spotting Orion, so he doesn't fall

  When you are together, you are treasured, and adored. The one who loves you wants everyone to know that they have you, but they don't want to share. ~~  
  Yup, chocolate, not Mark, fit into this description perfectly. So, it begs the question; what is love anyways? If a person can feel this way about chocolate, what is the difference about how they can feel about another person? I can tell you that I would not give Melanie the ultimatum to choose between me and chocolate. I would lose that one.  
  Love is just a word, a word used to describe how much we really like something...or is it just a word. It is the connection that the word 'love' implies, that matters. It is more than a bond. You can love somebody, but not be bonded to them, or you can be bonded to someone, but not love them. I know that I am starting to sound a little philosophical, but what the point that I am trying to make is that it is hard to really pinpoint what love really is. They say animals are not capable of love, rather that they form very strong bonds. Anyone that has owned a dog which they have been very close to, will argue that point. We have seen this in our own four legged pack, when we watched our dog Lucy wail as she looked over the lifeless body of our beloved Diego when he was hit by a car and killed. Lucy mourned and grieved Diego for many months just as we did. 
  There is no arguing that Melanie and I are bonded and committed to each other, or that we love each other, but I have to say, that there is a deeper 'love' and connection that you feel for your own children. It is magical. I have learned more about love in 3 1/2 years of having children than I have in 40 years of life. Apollo and Orion are the light of my life. They are pure joy to me. Because of them, I have discovered the true meaning of love although I have yet been able to put it into words, however, I will attempt to sum up my definition as best I can. 

  Love is a connection of heart, soul, body, and mind, which allows us to give selflessly, make sacrifices, care for another more than ourself, so much so, that we feel a void inside when that person is absent. It allows us to look beyond an other's faults to see potential and offer encouragement. It is a connection so strong that it allows us to feel an other's emotion; their sorrow, fear, joy, anxiety...we share them all.  In the end, true love makes us want to be a better person because the ones we love, deserve for us to be the best person we can be.


  I am blessed with a beautiful wife that truly loves me, and two amazing little ones that fill my heart with more joy than I could have every imagined. Even during times of stress, hardship, or unwanted change, I never question the amount of love that I have in my life. I never take it for granted and I am thankful for every moment I get to share with my family. I am humbled and honored to be loved by such amazing people and can only hope that I live up to their expectations as a husband and a father. And for Melanie, I can only hope that someday, I will be ranked at the top of her list, second only to chocolate. 
  

Living in the present

  Laughter is the key ingredient to sanity; at least for my part. There is so much turmoil surrounding my present state of being, that it is through my children that I find solace. Through them, I see the simplicity of life. Joy, laughter, discovery, sadness...each expressed in its simplest, unbiased, unaffected form. They live each moment in the present with out any regard for what tomorrow may bring. Every emotion is real and heartfelt...without pretense. I envy their mindset.

 The last few weeks have been nothing short of amazing in the house of Miles. It has been a period of rapid advancements and milestones for Orion, and for Apollo, it has come to light that he is extremely protective of his baby brother.
  Apollo, has always adored Orion. Even in the moments that he feels jealous over the extra attention that Orion needs, Apollo will sneak in a little hug or a kiss on the top of Orion's head. Around the house, Apollo will interact with Orion, mimic his noises and crying, console him, and empathize with him. Out in public, Apollo takes on the role of guardian. Melanie took Orion and Apollo to a Mail boxes, etc. type of store to mail off some packages and documents. While filling out the mailing labels, she placed Orion on the floor. There was one or two other people in the store at the time, but they were not in close proximity to Melanie or the boys. As Orion started to crawl away, Apollo started to get very upset, and got in front of him to block him from moving any further. "Mama! Pick up baby brother!" he said with panic in his voice. "MAMA!! PICK UP BABY BROTHER!!"
  I assumed that Melanie was slightly exaggerating this story until I experienced it first hand. We took Orion for his six-month old "well" check-up this week. While waiting in the vaccine clinic waiting room. Melanie set Orion on the floor. I could see that Apollo was instantly concerned and kept a watchful eye on Orion. Another toddle about the age of two, spied Orion on the floor and ran over to him to play. Apollo immediately went on the defensive and placed himself in-between Orion and this strange little boy. "Mama, mama, mama! Get him! Get baby brother!" This continued even as we tried to reassure Apollo that it was 'okay'. As the toddler stranger left the area, Orion began to crawl away. Apollo was visible upset  from the previous encounter with the unknown toddler, so as his brother crawled away, Apollo got in front of him in an attempt to stop him. "MAMA! PICK UP BABY BROTHER! RIGHT NOW!". Apollo's face became flush and tears filled his eyes.

 I attribute this behavior in part, to both of Apollo's grandmothers and their over zealous, worrisome personality traits. In all actuality, Apollo has always been acutely aware of his surroundings, the people around him, and things in his environment that most others (toddlers, teens, or adults) do not see or care about. He has always, even in his infancy, been amazingly perceptive. I remember when Apollo was six months old, and I came home with a new hair cut. Not only did he do a double take, he stared and studied every inch of my head for several minutes. He reached his little hands up to touch my hair. His mom didn't even notice I cut my hair for three or four days. I admire his awareness and protectiveness. I am sure that both of these traits will serve Apollo well throughout his life.
    Orion has been in high gear in the developmental department. He has been up on his hands and knees since Christmas. Mid January, at 5 1/2 months old, I was seated on the floor with Orion, watching him puzzle over how to move his body where he wanted it to go. This is usually accomplished by pushing hard enough with his back legs, until he falls forward on his face. This moves him forward a few inches as he pulls himself back onto his hands and knees. As I watched, in a moment of discovery, Orion lifted one hand up to reach for something and moved it forward and set it down.
 He repeated this process with his second hand. I could see in his eyes that everything just fell into place for him. He just figured out how to crawl. He moved all the way across the room, turned around and came back. There was no relapse on this new skill. He took off at high speed after that, and has not looked back since. Orion is all over now and is opening cupboards, tipping over laundry baskets, going after toys, and foraging for any small morsel that he can fit in his mouth. Orion has already begun to pull himself up into a standing position. He has his eye on the prize; walking! I have noticed in the past few weeks that Melanie has been making the teens hold Orion and walk around with him. I confronted her about this, and she has admitted that she is trying to slow him down. "If he is not on the floor, he can't practice standing up. I am not ready for him to walk," she confessed.
  Orion has very quick hands and hass extremely refined hand-eye coordination. He grabs anything and does it in an instant. Orion wakes up at full speed. His eyes open, he pops up and his hand start grabbing.

  At his 6 month well check-up, Orion weighed in at 18 1/2 pounds, and 27" long. He is healthy and happy and flirted with his nurse practitioner throughout the entire exam. We learned at this visit that the "first food" thinking has moved away from rice cereal (which we had already been feeding him), to fresh avocado. We were excited to try out this new, fun, food, so we picked up a few ripe avocados on the way home, and quickly mashed a half into guacamole to feed him. Orion did not share our enthusiasm for avocado. Much to mine and Apollo's amusement, Orion gagged, grunted, growled, and tried to spit out every bite. Melanie has resorted to mixing in breast milk or squash to make avocado more palatable for my little man, and he will now tolerate it at best.

  At the end of the day, I feel extraordinarily blessed to have such healthy and happy babies. Orion's chronically happy personality is infectious to say the least, while Apollo's sense of humor and naughtiness, keeps me laughing. My favorite moment of the year thus far, was in the car driving, and watching Apollo make noises and faces at Orion. Orion was mesmerized and would burst into laughter. This would make Apollo laugh hysterically, which in turn made Melanie and I laugh. For several minutes we were all in stitches. For a brief time, nothing else mattered. Apollo and Orion shared with us a precious gift; a moment of living in the present. 

The pitter-patter of little feet

  You sacrifice everything when you decide to have children. You have to be prepared to give up your freedom and independence and a bit of your identity. And when your kids actually arrive, you learn quickly that even though you prepared yourself for it, you were not really prepared at all. Given the opportunity would I do it all again? Absolutely. There were time periods in my 20's and early 30's that I wanted kids and other periods that I did not. I even broke one of my own rules when I met Melanie, about not dating someone who had kids. After I spent a couple years with Melanie, and her two boys, I decided that I really didn't want to have kids...EVER!! It is funny how things you say or do come full circle and bite you in the ass.

  Here I am, a few years older (but probably not much wiser) with a toddler and infant in tow. The irony is that I could never imagine a moment with out Apollo and Orion now. As a father, I have the burden of providing for my family, paying the bills, being the entertainment, the interference, the transportation, the counselor, the companion, the playmate, and on rare occasion (very rare), the disciplinarian. I admit to spoiling my boys rotten and doing so many of the things that "they" say you should never do with your babies and toddlers. By they, I mean the so called experts that write the books on child rearing. What do they know anyways. Every few years the theories on the subject change. I am not saying that I am doing everything right, because I am not, I am only making the point that I am doing things my way and our kids are turning out pretty cool.
  This lead in was a segue for me to confess one of our "sins". Apollo and Orion sleep in bed with us. Yes, we are the parents that didn't stick their kids in a crib in their own room and let them cry it out. I know this is blasphemy, but I couldn't stand to do that to either of my boys. In Mel's defense, she fought me on this, but only a little bit. It was our intention to transition Apollo to his own bed when he turned three, but after Melanie became pregnant with Orion, we were worried that he would feel like we were "replacing" him. Sooooooo, there has been four of us in one bed since Orion was born in August. The good news is, that as of this past week, we have started the transition of moving Apollo to his own room and his own bed. I use the term "transition" because this is going to be process. Apollo had a few melt downs just discussing the move. It took some convincing, but now Apollo is in his own bed...with me. Yeah, I hate to admit it, but that was the only way to seal the deal.

(Thanks for the shirt Uncle Gooch)

  The biggest problem is that Apollo has reached the stage where things are scary to him. He had a robotic dinosaur that he picked out himself at 18 months old. It was his favorite toy for a while. Out of the blue, his "Dino" became too scary for him. He didn't like to go into his room alone. Part of the agreement about sleeping in his room, was that we would find a home for Dino with a little boy that wasn't scared of him.

On Saturday night, after spending the day at the beach, Apollo and I got in bed. I had no sooner fallen asleep, and Apollo woke me up with "Dada, I'm really hungry." As a rule, there is no eating after bed time and especially in bed, however, under the circumstances, I cut him some slack. I told Apollo that he wasn't supposed to eat in bed. After a five minute debate and a few tears, I told Apollo that he could have something to eat, but he had to be a big boy and go get it himself. "Its too scary for me dada. Its dark." Apollo protested. "Apollo, if you want to get something to eat, you need to be brave and go get something and come back. You know where the lights are," I replied. To my surprise and amusement, Apollo hopped up from bed, and hurried out of the room. As I lay there in bed, I could hear and envision his every move. He paused outside the room, I heard him flip the light switch in the hall, followed by the pitter-patter of little feet on the hardwood floor, making their way down the hall, through the den, and into the kitchen. I then heard the sound of a 5 gallon bucket slide across the kitchen floor. The cupboard doors clanked when the bucket came to rest against them. I heard a bit of rummaging around, and then the hurried pitter-patter of feet scurrying back down the hall, pausing to turn off the light switches on the way. "Dada! I found a baby orange (tangerine)!" Apollo proclaimed excitedly. I peeled the tangerine for him and he ate it with great relish. "Dada, I'm still really hungry." "Well, you better go get some more then," I replied.

Somebody is crawling!

  The whole process repeated. Upon returning, Apollo reported, "Dada, I got some more!" He proudly raised his hand. His little fingers were clutching a bag made of netting, full of tangerines. Four tangerines later, and Apollo was fast asleep.