Mayday! Steps, stitches, and joobies in the eyes.

This is how I spend a typical outing; Apollo perched atop my shoulders, laughing, and bantering.
 "Dada, I want to go up top!" is how it usually starts. Even in the house on the way to bed Apollo will ask to ride "up top", as he calls it, and often he will beg for it. There is bargaining and compromises and it is often thrown back in my face when I ask for something of him. "Apollo, we forgot to hug today! Come here so I can hug you," I will start. "Dada, we forgot to go up top today! First I will go up top, then I will hug you!" will be his snarky reply.
 I love the relationship I have with this rambunctious 4-year-old of mine. There is an enormous amount of trust, and a deep seeded connection that I never could have imagined. It is as if
 my sarcasm was genetically encoded in his DNA and is manifesting itself  beautifully in Apollo, much to Melanie's dismay. Apollo knows that I understand and appreciate his sarcasm in a way that no one else can, and although he will take it up a notch seeking my approval when I am present, it is his mothers daily reports (complaints) of Apollo's rottenness that I truly relish!

  With all the fun and a games, the flip side is life's little tragedies. Apollo made his second trip to the ER recently. Swinging from a hammock in the backyard, and an extra hard shove from an overzealous friend, sent Apollo airborne with only the edge of a coffee table and his head to break his fall. Moments later, while seated at my desk at work, I received a phone call from Melanie. "I need you to call the doctor and make an appointment for Apollo to get some stitches," she says. Several things raced through my head in the next half of a second; 'Appointment? Who makes an appointment for stitches? Does she want to have his mouth sown shut? Is his (our) sarcasm really making her that crazy?' Then, in the background, I heard Apollo whimpering... I raced home to pick up Melanie and my battle weary boy, and off to the hospital we went.
  Here is where the trust becomes instrumental. It had to have been terrifying for Apollo, not knowing what the doctor was going to do. He was visually shaken, yet maintained his composure as he looked to his mom and I for support while at the hospital. We explained to Apollo that the doctor was our friend and that he was there to help him and that he would make the pain go away and fix his wound. Apollo was amazingly brave. His somber and sullen face never gave way to tears throughout the treatment and suturing process. He only squirmed a small amount when the doctor stuck a needle in his wound in several locations, to numb the sight prior to suturing. 45 minutes, a $170 co-pay, and three stitches later (plus untold extra charges not covered by my insurance still to come), and we were on our way home. Apollo even managed to muster up enough courage to give the doctor and nurse a fist bump on the way out.
 Apollo returned to his normal self as soon as we left the hospital; "Do I get a new toy now because I was so brave? Can we go to Old McDonalds and get a toy? Because I am hungry!"(Yes, he calls McDonalds, 'Old McDonalds'...somehow, he has connected the song and the restaurant)
  Upon showing the carnage pictures to Apollo later that day, he was sure that the pictures were not the right ones; "Thats not my owe-eee! Thats too little! Mine was bigger!" It is funny how in his mind with all that he went through, he had painted a picture of this enormous wound. When he saw the pictures of his stitches, he responded with, "Hey! The doctor didn't fix my head! Its still broken!" After a 15 minute discussion on how the body heals and what the stitches do, Apollo was satisfied and ended the conversation with, "I really like my doctor."

  Apollo was probably not the easiest child to raise thus far. I really wouldn't know since he is my first experience in child rearing, however, Melanie lets me know in no uncertain terms, that he is no cake walk. Now that we have Orion, and I can compare the two, I am convinced that I am incapable of producing "easy" offspring. Orion and Apollo are so different in disposition and personality, but some of their similarities are the traits that just about do Melanie in. Neither of them are sleepers, meaning, they are not consistent nappers, nor do the get to the place where they will sleep through the night until well after a year (or two) old. They like to stay up late and get up early.

  Orion hates to miss out on anything, and will fight off sleep by shaking his head from side to side, in an attempt to thwart off sleep. He listens intently to everything around him, and has memorized footsteps and walking patterns for everyone in the house. I am amazed when, after great effort, I can get him to fall asleep in my arms while waiting for Melanie to come to bed, and he will hear her footsteps down the hall, and snap out of a deep sleep and spin his head in the direction of the sound. He will pause and listen intently for more steps to confirm it is his mother and then burst into a dramatic, desperate, tearful, cry. "Mama!...Mamamamama!" he will wail. He will also stir and wake at the sound of others walking through the house, but will quickly fall back to sleep when he realizes it is not his mother. Yes, Orion is the biggest mama's boy ever and a velcro baby. He would be happy to be stitched to his moms side, as long as she followed his agenda.

  Orion can be very bossy, demanding, and needy, but he is also a lot of fun. He has a pure joy for life. He is full of laughter, loves to wrestle and play rough, explore and get into everything. This kid is mischief. He is big on hugs and cuddling and is overwhelmingly affectionate. He has a gorgeous smile, and shows it off frequently. He will initiate play in an instant, and will join in with anyone that is already in play mode. He is very observant and watches everyone and every thing around him. He is vocal and learns which sounds get him whats he wants, very quickly. Although most anyone can get him laughing at any time, Orion finds Apollo to be the funniest. Maybe because Apollo is not trying to make him laugh... he is just being Apollo.
   Orion is our mocking bird, and at just under 10 months, he will repeat back many words. He for sure knows mama, dada, and no no, as far as what they mean, but he has repeated back names like, Ian (his brother) and Remi (our dog) which comes out sounding like 'Weme'. He also has repeated back several other simple words.

  On May 17th, Orion's first tooth popped through; one of his bottom front teeth. Over the next week, two more teeth made their way through; another bottom and then a top front tooth. It looks like the other top front tooth is working on catching up. To top it off, he was battling a case of pinkeye at the same time. Needless to say, Orion has been unusually cranky, and clingy since Mothers day.

  Orion has also managed to slip in his first couple steps this past week as well. Mostly by accident or with a small amount of trickery. He has not totally committed to walking hands free yet.
  Looking back, it has been a crazy month.

 With all that I have listed here, we also had Ian graduate from high school. His dad, Aunt Celina, Uncle Wade, and Grandma Linda all came from Oregon to be a part of it. The weekend before, we had a visit from Melanie's sister Sarah and her husband Levi, and spent our time taking day trips to San Francisco, the Russian River, and Bodega bay, with the icing on the cake (for me at least) being the annular eclipse that made such a nice showing here in Santa Rosa, to finish off the weekend.
  My funniest memory of the month stemmed from Orion developing pink eye. It developed over the weekend, and while waiting for a week day to schedule an appointment with the doctor, Melanie remembered that she had once read that breast milk is a great home remedy for conjunctivitis. We confirmed this online with a google search, so Mel expressed a bit of milk into a container which she then used to drip the milk into the baby's eyes. First you have to understand that I refer to Melanie's breasts as her joobies, and her milk is of course called jooby juice. While I held Orion's head still and Melanie dripped some milk into his eyes, Apollo looked on and inquired, "What is mama putting in baby brothers eyes."
  "She is putting jooby juice in them," I replied.
"What!" came the obviously disturbed voice of Apollo, "Why would she put joobies in his eyes?!"
"Well, his eyes are sick. That is why they are pink, and the jooby juice is like medicine. It will help to make them better," I began. "If you get pink eye too, mama is going to do the same thing to you."
"NO WAY!" Apollo's voice was filled with terror. He threw himself to the floor and cried out, "I DONT WANNA PUT MAMA'S JOOBIES IN MY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYES!"

  

Only a mother

Only a mother can love you unconditionally.
Only a mother can bring a wrath upon you that rivals that of a tornado but in the same instant would willingly give her life for yours.
Only a mother has the power to heal with just a gentle touch, softly spoken words, a kiss, or a hug.
Only a mother can see you for all that you are.
Only a mother knows you better than you know yourself.
Only a mother can forgive you for how you treated them throughout your teenage years.
Only a mother will be there for you when everyone else has let you down.
Only a mother will put you before herself.
Only a mother can bring you into this world, yet she will always carry you inside of herself for the rest of her life.
Only a mother
 
For my beautiful wife who is an amazing mother. I love the way you look upon our children everyday, in the same way that you looked at them the day that they were born.
Happy Mothers Day.

Replaced by a stuffed animal

The long, warm days are upon us. The air is filled with the smell of citrus blossoms and freesia. It is a great time to be outside. As I water our plants in the late afternoon, I inhale deeply through my nose and with each breath, I try to guess at all the subtle fragrances that I detect; lilac... citrus... jasmine... with hints of lavender and rosemary. (I sound like a wine connoisseur describing the subtle flavors in a glass of wine. How different is it really?)
 The smells that take me back to my youth are citrus blossoms and jasmine. Not only did we have citrus trees in our yard when I was young, but we had orange and lemon groves around our neighborhood. When the trees were blooming, the smell was so intense. I remember the intoxicating smell being carried on the afternoon breeze. The memories come rushing back every time I get a whiff of our lemon tree in bloom. We took it for granted back in those days when we raced between the rows of lemon trees, plucking fruit as we went, in an all out lemon war with the neighborhood kids. Getting nailed with a semi-ripe lemon, and the welt that it would leave, was a right of passage for a 10-year-old boy. If you could hold back the tears, you became a legend.

  As I watch Apollo and Orion grow, and start to play and interact more and more, I can only imagine the mischief that they will get into together, and what smells and sound will trigger memories from their youth.
  Although the two boys will play together, Apollo is not always sure he wants to share his toys with Orion and I am sure he doesn't enjoy not having all the attention on him all the time, but for the most part, he loves to play with Orion and Orion is already pretty adept at playing with toy cars. He has figured out that they roll back and forth as long as the wheels are in contact with the floor. I love watching him sitting next to his brother while both of them are driving toy cars around. Apollo offers up tips and instructions for proper car driving etiquette; "You have to hold it like this baby brother."
  Orion is so playful these days. He has discovered that climbing in and out of Apollo's toy tent, and pretending to hide, is great fun. He squeals and laughs, and races in and out of the tent with Apollo joining in the fun. By the time Orion is done playing, he is covered in sweat.

  Mile stones that this little 9-month-old terror has reached this past month are; standing and balancing with one hand hold and very briefly with no hands, climbing up on things off the floor, improved self feeding skills, pointing at things, mimicking sounds and facial expressions, and my personal favorite, saying "Dada" while he points at me. I hate to admit it but, his first word was "Mama". We are fairly certain that he has been saying "mama" since he was about six-month-old, but we are sure that he has been saying "mama" and "dada" for the past few weeks now. There is nothing better than walking into the room, and when your baby sees you, he smiles from ear to ear, points and says "dada!" and then crawls at full speed to greet you.

  Apollo has become quite the little man. He can be very pleasant and well mannered, and really wants to be able to do everything by himself. Climbing in and out of the van and even buckling his own seat belt and making sure it is in the right position, is one of the best examples of a "big kid". Apollo also has a bit of a bully in him. He enjoys being sarcastic and finds great pleasure in being a bully to his brothers and friends. Pushing your friend over while tying his shoe, or dumping sand on another friends head at the beach, brings great laughter and enjoyment every time.
 We are of course teaching Apollo the Golden Rule and explaining to him that although it is funny to torture your friends, it is not always nice and you have to expect this kind of treatment in return. I cannot help but laugh when he does these types of things, which I am sure encourages this behavior. I am thinking that some martial arts classes are in order, so he can learn to defend himself when upsets the wrong kid.

  Apollo has learned to write his first name this past week. It took a little bribing and a whole lot of encouragement. Apollo begged us to give him his "prize" (bribe) first, and explained that he would work on writing his name later...after enjoying his prize. We stood our ground and told Apollo that he had to earn his prize first. He threw a few big fits, but after that, he seemed to get it down very quickly. The best part about it is that he was so pleased with himself, that he has not asked for his "prize".
 Apollo is finally working through sleeping by himself. I am not sure if he has found a coping mechanism, expanded his imagination to give personalities to inanimate objects, or if it is a transference of affection, but Apollo has adopted two plush animals as his new "best guys"; Lizard and Sharky. Apollo told me, "Dada. I won't be sad that you go to work in the morning now, because Lizard and Sharky will take care of me after you leave."
  Yup, I have been replaced by a stuffed animal.
 
  

The gift of time

And then he turned four. I have pondered the events of the past five years this week, as Apollo's birthday was at the forefront of my mind. Five years ago, an accidental pregnancy and a subsequent miscarriage, set my life on a course that I could not have foreseen, let alone one that I had even considered. It took but one singular event, to start the dialogue and thought process that would lead to what I consider one of the greatest gifts that this life has bestowed upon me; my sons.

  I entered into fatherhood thinking about all that I had to offer my offspring. I wanted to teach them all the lessons that I had learned in life; the good and the bad. I wanted to teach them unconditional love. I wanted them to be better than me in every way. In my head I had so much of it figured out...or at least I thought I did.
  Melanie was pregnant within a couple months of us actually trying to conceive. I was thrilled when I found out, and began researching and reading about babies and their development, both in utero and in early childhood. The months seamed to drag on, and everyday I prayed that nothing would go wrong throughout the pregnancy. I longed to hold my little one in my arms. And then that day arrives. It was very surreal for me. There were no surprises. The labor and delivery went flawlessly. At 40-years-old, I became the father of my own offspring. I was as proud as any father could be.

  Over the next four years, I had many surprises. There were so many things that I did not take into account about fatherhood, and almost every one of them was a very pleasant surprise. I learned (and continue to learn) more than I have taught. I am learning so much about myself and how to be the father that I want my sons to have. I have received such an immeasurable wealth of unconditional love, that there is not a ship large enough to bear the bounty of this treasure that I now hold within my heart.
  I realize now that I was a fool to think that fatherhood was all about me and what I had to offer. Fatherhood has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with my children and what they deserve. I have had moments of panic that I am inadequate for this role, that I do not have all that it takes to be the father the my sons deserve. I am fearful that I may falter and make some huge mistake. My biggest fear is that I will some how let my boys down.

  Apollo has been an inspiration to me.  He challenges me to do better. To be better. He gives me cause on nearly a daily basis, to stop and think about my actions and how they affect him. Through him, I have found a connection deeper than any I have ever experienced. He is a part of me, and I, a part of him. He is perfection.
  I found that I was capable of a love deeper than any that I could have imagined. I have found a new purpose in life; an adventure greater than any I have previously embarked upon. I have become the pupil. I have learned to listen and watch. I have had to humble myself to accept that I am the one being taught.
  And just when I thought I had reached my limits in all that is good, along came Orion. Once again, I foolishly thought that my heart would have to be divided into two, to have room for another. I now realize that I made a serious miscalculation. My heart in fact doubled.

  I have been blessed. I realize now what an honor and a privilege it is to be a father. I strive to be the best father that I can. I am taking in every breath of every moment that I spend with these amazing boys.I have found that there is no gift that I can give my boys, that is more precious or valuable than the gift of time.
  On this your forth birthday Apollo, I offer you my love and my thanks. You have shown me more in four short years than I have seen or learned in four long decades. Thank you for teaching me what unconditional love is, for inspiring me, trusting me, and forgiving me when I have let you down. Thank you for showing me the world in a new light. Thank you for that which I cherish most; the time we spend together.
 Happy Birthday son!

Keeping it real

  

The chilly coastal winds threaten to push the fog over the green rolling hills that separates the ocean from the bay, while the warmth of the spring sun pushes back. Its a game of tug-of-war, and this day, the sun is winning. We find ourselves camping for the first time in several months. A welcomed respite from the day to day life of a working father. This is not back country tent camping, rather, load up the RV and drive to the coast with all the amenities of home brought along with you, type of camping. And yes, we love it! An RV makes camping so easy when you have little ones. I have spent many nights camping in a tent, on the ground, in a sleeping bag, in all kinds of weather and besides the amazing places you can get to by foot or canoe that a car wont carry you to, I don’t really miss it. We have been spoiled by a mattress, climate controlled environment, running hot water, etc. I am sure that when Apollo and Orion are a bit older, I will have to spend more than my fair share of nights on the ground again, but until that time, I will take all the creature comforts. 

  Not only is camping a great way to escape life for a brief time, but it is good quality family time. We have such a huge age gap from our oldest, 18 years, to our youngest, 8 1/2 months, that camping offers something for everyone. Granted, having two little ones really limits what we can do, as I know Melanie and I would be spending every waking moment of our trip exploring, we now have to tailor our activities to ones that are geared towards an infant and a 4-year-old. Besides feeling a bit inhibited at times, I am enjoying  exploring the world again, through the eyes of a toddler. Every shell becomes treasure, every creature, a pet, every sound, a new discovery, and every curiosity, a clue. 

  What I have learned from Apollo and Orion is that there is so much more going on in a child’s mind than I could have ever guessed. I am astounded on a regular basis by both my little ones. I am surprised by what they learn, know, create, imagine, and most of all...understand. I often try to imagine Apollo as an adult. There are so many clues to what his personality may be like as an adult, but there are a few traits that stand out above all the rest, that give a bit of a peak into his future and type of person that he may become. Apollo is so “aware” and always has been. He seams to have a profound ability to understand cause and affect, and to such a degree, that I often think it far exceeds that of his teenage siblings. He has the ability to anticipate the outcome of an action and the resulting reaction. Not that he won't  push his moms buttons knowing full well that she has a breaking point...he is still a toddler after all. But more to the point, Apollo is very analytical and he will think through and rationalize a problem before he has even faced it. He is also aware of his surroundings and everyone in it. Apollo always has an ever watchful eye on his baby brother, even when we think he is oblivious to everything happening around him, he will let us know in an instant when Orion has traveled outside of Apollo’s perceived ‘safety zone’. 

  Three more of his strength stand out above the others; his excellent memory, the ability to visualize, and his physical dexterity with his hands.

  What can this all mean? The fear that I have as a father, is that if left unchecked, Apollo could turn into a worrisome adult that is afraid to try new things in life because he understands the risk involved. On the other hand, I imagine the endless possibilities that his gifts may present him. I can see Apollo becoming anything in life that he wants to be. I earnestly hope that he realizes his full potential in any path he chooses in life, and first and foremost that he can find and maintain happiness along the way. 

  

  As for Orion, we are watching all his little personality traits develop and grow. Some of his best traits thus far are his radiant smile, adorable laughter, and laid-back demeanor. He is curious, active, playful and very affectionate. It is hard at this point to guess what he will be like as an adult, however, I hope he stays as charming and happy as he is now, throughout his entire life. Developmentally, Orion is ahead of the game in many ways. He is very mobile and agile as well as very strong. He is not walking on his own yet, but he will grab on to anything that slides, and will walk around the house pushing it to go anywhere he wants to go. He is climbing on to things and getting into things. I love how active this little guy is, but I have to say that some of my favorite moments with Orion is when he is falling asleep on my chest, especially if I am singing to him. a I can tell by the way he presses his ear to my chest, that he is trying to listen and that he is comforted by the sound of my voice. 

  Apollo has reached the end of his 3rd year. He is so excited to be 4-year-old, and is trying to be more independent. It is a very fun transitional phase, especially since he is so eager to be a big boy. I love watching him lift Orion from the floor and waddle with him in his arms, using all his might, to move his baby brother across the room. It is sure to get all three of us laughing evertime. I am honored to be the father of such fine little men. I can not believe what an impact Apollo and Orion have made on my life, these four short years.  One of the memories I will cherish most from the end of Apollo's third year, is being reminded to keep it real. On my way out the door to return to work after lunch this week, Apollo stopped me. "Dada! Come here!" He climes down from the bar stool where he was seated at the counter finishing his lunch, and runs across the room towards me, "We forgot to hug!" I scoop him up in my arms, and embrace him, "Remember dada, your never too old to hug."

Potty words and the letter "Q"

  As a parent, fewer things are more precious than a sleeping baby. Even more precious when it is at night, and they stay sleeping. (Of course Melanie will tell you that I have no clue about this topic since I will sleep in Apollo's room on really bad nights). You love every waking moment with your children, but when they finally decide it is nap time, and they crawl up into your arms, and succumb to the overpowering will of sleep, there is a certain part of you that is melted with a wealth of emotion. You feel a sense of pride, compassion, love, joy, nurturing...it is hard to describe, however, it is one of the most rewarding moments in your day. I love to look upon their sweet, sleeping faces, and study every part of them; every line and every curve.
   When both boys are awake, you can almost feel the earth quake in discontent as the stillness that was nap time, is replaced with chaos, crying, laughter, and the shrill screams of a toddler and his nearly 4-year-old brother, (competing with our parrots for the most decibels, apparently). It gets a little crazy at times around here, especially when there are other little kids visiting. I must admit that there are times that I come home from work, walk through the front door, and for a brief moment, I almost turn around and walk back out before I am noticed. Okay, I am mostly kidding, but when there is 2 or 3 extra kids in the house and they are all running around screaming at the top of their little lungs, it does cross my mind. Still, with fingers inserted in my ears, I enter the realm of total day care hell and alas, it does put a smile on my face to see the sheer joy on their innocent little faces.

  The warmth of springtime is settling into wine country. Rain showers are passing through fairly regularly now. The rain falling outside the open window in still of the night, is one of my favorite sounds. The smell of cedar, moss, redwood, and earth, are stirred up by the rain and hang on the soft breeze that brushes gently past my face. I can feel everything around me coming to life after its long winter slumber. Change is in the air.
     Speaking of change, both boys are changing right before our eyes. Orion is starting to grow some hair. He is very alert and will fight sleep if there is anything going on around him. He does not want to miss anything. Orion is an adventurer at heart, and in the short times between being Velcro'ed to Melanie, he explores every part of the house that his little limbs will carry him to. He is such a light hearted baby. Full of laughter and smiles. He giggles at everything.
  It is not all sugar coated though. Orion has a bit of the ginger gene in him and can be forcefully demanding. He is more of a protestor than a complainer. He will let you know if he is not getting what he wants. Orion is also very sweet and affectionate. He loves to cuddle when he is tired and will reward you with smiles and humming while he lays his head on your chest. He can also be very shy, and will turn his head away when strangers look at him, and then he will slowly peak back with a smile on his face to see if they are still looking.

   Apollo is becoming more enjoyable by the day. He has been developing some very good manners and really understands that some words are bad and shouldn't be used in front of others. Melanie, at Apollo's prompting, has set a precedence for the use of "potty" words. They are only to be used in the "potty" room. I can tell you that there are some very colorful words that come out of the bathroom during bath time, and they are almost always followed by laughter. "FART! Hahahaha!...mama is a fart 'meller! HAHAHA!", "I gotta take a p-p-p-p-p-po-FART! AAAHahahaha!", "Mama? Whats your favorite t.v. show?" he will then talk in a high pitched girl voice, "Back-FART-agains!" ( a reference to Back Yardagains, cartoon) "Hahahaha! Dada! Get your BUTT in here! I'm done with my bath! hahahaha!" That is some of the "G-rated" words.

 I won't list any of the really bad words here, but there are a few words he discovered on his own by repeating words he heard his mom and I use, and then put the wrong inflection and emphasis in the right place. We tried to not react to his misuse of these words, but he enunciated them so well, that we had to point it out to him and ask him to not use these words. You can use your imagination and figure it out. The words he can only say in the "potty" room now are; infection and affection....And yes, we have heard him say these words phonetically and enunciating deliberately, in the bath.
  Outside of the bathroom, Apollo is the first one to point out that someone has said a "potty" word. It can be something as simple as "stupid". "Hey! We don't say that word!" At least he understands what is socially acceptable and what is not, and has all but refrained from using any foul language in public...at least for now.
  What impresses me the most about Apollo is his ability to visualize. Apollo believes that if you are going for a drive or a walk, you have to have a destination. He gets upset if you take him for a walk without going to the park or to the store. On a recent walk around the neighborhood, we had a discussion about walking just to walk; to be outdoors and get some fresh air. Apollo was quiet for a moment and I could see that his wheels were turning. "Dada", he began, "when we go for a walk and we only go back to the house, we are making the letter 'O', but when we go somewhere, and then go back to the house, we are making the letter 'Q'." I was blown away by his assessment, and was left all but speechless. Apollo continued, "Dada, I like to make the letter 'Q' when we walk."

  

Back in the drivers seat

   Life goes on. You take your punches and roll with them, and then the next move is yours. Thus begins a new chapter....After the dust had settled from Melanie's accident, we (by we, I mostly mean me) decided that a MUV (Mothers Utility Vehicle) would be a better match for us than an SUV. True, it is not as cool as a four wheel drive SUV, but our newly acquired 2003 Honda Odyssey is fully loaded complete with leather seats, heated front seats, power doors including power sliding doors, and a dvd player among many other sweet features. Melanie was not really happy about my insistence (yes you heard right, my insistence) that we get a minivan instead of another SUV, in fact when I came home after making the purchase, she was quick to point out all the things she did not like about the van and proceeded to tell me that even though she was just happy to have another vehicle to drive, she would never like the minivan as much as she liked the Explorer. That changed very quickly; on her first day driving kids around. She has now conceded that had she known how much she was going to love having a minivan, she would have wrecked the Explorer a long time ago. Hmmmm...I am not sure how to take that one.

  Apollo loves HIS new car. He is pretty sure that we bought it for him. The sliding doors are "magic" and he could spend an entire day making them open and close on their own. The dvd player is almost equally as exciting for him, and a welcome distraction for his mom and I as it allows us to have an adult conversation while a movie is playing. 

  I can not say for certain how Orion feels about the new car, but I can tell you that he shares Apollo's passion for cars...at least toy cars. We have dozens of baby toys around the house. You would think the bright colors and interesting shapes would appeal to a seven month old, but Orion would rather grab a toy car and roll it back and forth on the floor or on the wall. I relish the times that Apollo will sit down with Orion, hand him a car, and the two of them will play cars together.  

 Orion has been dubbed "Destructo", and is on a mission to destroy everything. His favorite pass time is emptying the pantry and the cupboards. Squealing at the top of his lungs, is also very rewarding apparently. I am sure he is just mimicking our parrots, much to my dismay. 

   My favorite Orion memories for this month are the genuine hugs and slobbery kisses. Nothing melts your heart more than entering the house after a day at work, and when your baby sees you, he squeals, and then crawls across the floor at full speed until he gets to where you stand and grabs your pant legs. When you pick him up from the floor he looks you in the eye's, smiling all the way up, grabs your neck, and lays his head on your shoulder. When he is done hugging you, he will lift his head, smile again, and then plant a slobbery mouth on your face. I would freeze time if I could, just to capture that feeling forever.

  As March has drenched us with nearly ten inches of rain, the rolling hillsides have erupted in green grasses dusted with yellow mustard blossoms with the back drop of deep blue skies and white puffy clouds. Spring has arrived. Everything is coming to life, and the days are getting longer.  My 44th year is about to begin along with Apollo's 4th. What I wouldn't give to be four again. I envy the care free spirit of a 4-year-old. Apollo is blossoming in his own right. I am enamored with him and his personality. He is so inquisitive and insightful. He is interested in the mechanics of how things work, and why. He enjoys taking things apart just to put them back together. He has a fascination with the stars, moon, planets, and the sun. Many evenings we have spent talking about the stars in the night sky, or watching videos about the planets. 

  Some of my favorite times with Apollo these days, is around bed time. He is winding down from his day, and we get to have some pretty meaningful conversations. He typically has questions for me and will listen intently to my answers. We talk, joke, and laugh as we lie in bed. My favorite thing that Apollo has been doing this month is in the moments prior to falling asleep. I can tell that he is about to drift off as his actions are nearly always the same. "Dada, don't go to work tomorrow, I want you to stay here." He will reach over and grab onto my sleeve, and squeeze it tightly with his fingers. His eyes are usually closed at this point. "I am afraid that you are going to leave and go to work, so I am going to hold onto you so you can't leave."....There is no more satisfying or rewarding way to end the day.