I pay the bills!

Whoa!! This summer has gone by incredibly fast. For not taking any major vacations or doing anything all that fun, we were/are incredibly busy. School is back in session for the teens. Aden is a junior and Ian has started college. In many ways, I am glad school is back in session, but it comes at a price. It was nice to have a few weeks with no teens in the house while they were off on various adventures of their own. Now everyone is back under one roof and the old bad habits and routines are falling back in line. I don't mention Ian and Aden very often in this blog as I fear I would come off as being too crass and over the top sarcastic. I could write a daily blog on those two alone, and I would probably call it something along the lines of; "Really?" in light of the many times in a day where my initial reaction to something one of them says, does, or does not do.
  And as if we need any more turmoil and drama above and beyond Apollo and the Mungie. It is all hands on deck from the moment they wake up until well after 10:00pm. Apollo is fighting some major demons right now. He really misses being the top dog around here, and is very put off by Orion needing so much attention. He is acting out in order to gain back the attention he feels he is not getting. The irony is that he is getting more quality attention than ever before, he just cant stand seeing Orion getting any attention at all. That said, as Orion has gotten older and more mobile, Apollo is finding that he can actually play and interact with Orion and the two of them will have a great time together.
  The days are whizzing by now as we have so much going on. I will divulge more in a few weeks on what we are up to, but for now, I can tell you that every moment of our days, for the time being is booked up. I wanted to squeeze in this quick update while I can spare a moment.
~
  Orion is WILD!! He loves to rough house, wrestle, be chased, and startled. He climbs on everything!; In and out of our tall bed, up on the tables, furniture, he even climbs up jungle gyms and goes down slides on his own. He needs constant stimulation and attention. He is incredibly stubborn and although he wants your undivided attention, he wants to do everything himself including eating and drinking, He is very efficient with a fork and is only happy if he can feed himself. Spaghetti is by far his favorite food and is much better when it is squeezed in his hands and then shoved in his mouth and slurped up, so no fork is necessary in that case. Orion has 6 teeth now and not only does he use them to eat but also to bite his mom when she is not giving him what he wants. He also likes to punish her for not serving up the joobs quick enough, by bitting the nipple...he is going to find himself weened if he keeps that up.

  Apollo is my comic relief. He may be Melanie's bane, but he is hilarious to me. I know that a lot of his attitude comes from me, but so much of it is strictly Apollo. He likes to stick his butt out at you and shake it back and forth while mocking you; no one else in this house does that. The funny thing is that in contrast, he is very shy in front of strangers, and often will proclaim "I'm too shy to that person."  Once he warms up to that person he will report to me, "Dada, I'm not shy to her anymore."
  My proudest moments are hearing my words come out of his mouth. His timing is impeccable, however, he is going to learn the hard way that it is not okay to back talk to his mother. There are frequent power struggles and ultimatums between Melanie and Apollo, and Apollo likes to push his mom to the edge before he backs down. A recent exchange went as follows; (Please keep in mind that he is very sarcastic throughout this exchange)
Melanie: "Apollo, you need to pick up your toys please."
Apollo: "Mama, you need to pick up my toys."
Mel: "Apollo! Right now!"
Apollo: "Mama! I'm the boss! You pick up my toys...Right...Now!"
(At this point I am getting some very dirty looks from Melanie....hehehehe)
Mel: "I am your mother, that makes me the boss!"
Apollo: "Welllllll mama, I pay the bills!"

Orion turns 1

  The light from the nearly full moon streaming through the bedroom window, illuminates the room with a pale glow that falls gently upon the face of my littlest man. He is breathing softly as he sleeps. His eyelids reveal the movement of his wandering, dreaming eyes underneath. His features are outlined by the moon glow. They are soft, subtle, and peaceful, yet they reveal little about his personality when he is awake, save it for his extraordinary sweet nature. Orion has one little arm extended up over his head with his fist loosely clenched, his other had rest upon his belly.

  It has been one year since I first heard Orion’s voice, laid my eyes upon his perfect little face, and held him in my arms for the first time.  I was filled with joy and pride. His pale blue eyes pierced my heart when he looked at me. I wondered who he would become, what kind of personality he would have, and how he would affect our lives. A year later and all I can say is that I could not have guessed anything about his personality correctly, except for the fact that he would be loud. In fact, my first impression of him when I heard his first cry was, “Wow! This kid is loud!”

  Orion is a virtual whirlwind, leaving chaos and destruction behind him where ever he goes. He gets into everything…EVERYTHING!! We have resorted to closing off rooms, using baby gates to limit his access to parts of the house, installing child proof cabinet latches, and training ourselves not to leave anything on the edge of the counters. Each day presents a new challenge for us as Orion develops new skill sets. He has now started climbing on chairs and buckets to reach more of the counters. The buckets we keep in our kitchen have flour, rice, or sugar in them. Apollo uses them to stand on to help with the dishes or to help cook. Orion has discovered that he can climb on them too, and reach more items on the counters. Everything is then thrown on the floor. Drinks are always a prized treasure for Orion, and we are usually alerted to the fact that he is standing on a bucket in the kitchen, when we hear his shrill scream as cold water and ice douse his little body and then splash onto the floor. He seems to get drenched at least once a day from finding an abandoned drink.

  Orion’s hands and feet start moving the moment his eyes open. He moves constantly and is always looking for new stimulation. He will even attempt to fight off sleep by shaking his head wildly from side to side while while screaming! Orion loves to scream and is very proficient at it. He screams when he is happy, sad, bored, hungry, tiered, playing, protesting, walking…if he is awake, he is usually screaming. Our next door neighbor summed it up best; “ I can always tell when you guys are home and when you are gone. I can hear your baby screaming 24-hours a day.”   We are trying our best to help Orion find his words now in hopes that talking will reduce the amount of screaming. Besides “mama”, “dada”, and “no, no” he is mumbling “I want this.” It’s a start.

  In spite of the screaming and mass destruction, Orion is an amazingly fun baby. He is always smiling and laughing (between screams, of course). He loves to be chased and squeals in delight while running and giggling. He is adventurous and inquisitive. He loves to wrestle, rough house, and bang things together to make noise. He is quick to give hugs and kisses, and will always greet you with a smile.

 In his first year, Orion has turned our home upside down, deprived us of sleep, kept us on our toes,  captured our hearts, made us laugh, made us cry, and has brought a whole new level of joy to our home.  I will take the screaming and destruction any day as payment for having this wonderful little soul in our lives.

  Orion, you have doubled my capacity for love. Your sweetness, sense of adventure, and playful nature has made my life a whole lot better. Your smile lightens up the whole room as well as my life. I am proud to call you my son.

Happy Birthday son. I love you.

Learning to swim

  There are times as a parent when you get glimpses into the type of person that your child will become. Sometimes you cringe, and sometimes you are super proud, and other times you just have to laugh out loud. 

  Apollo has been taking swimming lessons. Melanie has been the one to take him, so I get to hear all about it from her, but I had to take time out of at least one work day to experience it for myself. This was one of the moments when I was both very proud, and laughing hysterically out loud. 

  The goal of the "Tadpoles" class, is to teach the most basic water skills and to build up the child's confidence in the water. 

  They teach them to kick their legs, stick their faces in the water and blow bubbles,....

 go on their back and kick their legs with their arms stretched out over their heads,...

 and they even play games!     It sounds like great fun and what kid wouldn't be sucked in and then go with the flow?.....Can you say, Apollo? Yes, believe it or not, it is my son that has to do things his way. What Apollo is really learning from this class is how to express himself, negotiate, communicate, and to step outside of his "shy" bubble, and possibly even how to flirt a little.
  When the instructor changes activities, the three other kids in the class follow right along with her and copy her every move. Apollo will just sit back and watch.
 "Apollo, would you like to join us?" I heard the instructor ask.
"No thank you, I am too busy right now," he replied.
"Come on, you're missing all the fun Apollo," she said, trying to appeal to his sense of fun.
"Well, I am just going to stay here and watch."
When it came time to play rings, wouldn't you know it, Apollo had a new set of reasons to do things his own way.
The swim instructor asked, "Apollo, I am going to throw this ring into the water. Do you want to go get it for me?"
 "Ummm, I only like the blue ring, so you can have the yellow one."
  Fortunately, this instructor does not take no for an answer and always gently pulls Apollo into the mix of whatever she has the class doing.

As a technique to get all the kids to join in and get their hands in the air and to help them learn to use their arms in swimming, the instructor asks all the students to use their superpowers and put their arms in the air like they are flying. Of course all the kids but Apollo did this. When, his instructor asked Apollo why he wouldn't join in. his response was, "I don't have the flying power."

"Well, what super power do you have Apollo?" she inquired.

"I have the power of fire...it's in my legs." he replied confidently.

  I laughed for the entire 20 minutes of Apollo's swim class that I was able to attend. Not only was I impressed by my sons individuality, but I also enjoyed the fact that the other students were impressed by Apollo's "fire powers". Even the instructor coaxed Apollo multiple times by telling him, "come on Apollo, use your fire powers!"
  Later that evening, I quizzed Apollo about his lack of flying powers, and tried to remind him of his dreams; "Hey, remember all the dreams you used to have about me and you flying? That means you have flying powers!"
Once again, I was schooled by my own son, "Actually dada, I only go flying with you, and it is in the mornings, in the clouds by the mountains. The kids at the pool are only pretending to have flying powers...but they can't fly in water."
Class dismissed!

The wounded giant.

  Seated on the balcony of a mission style hotel, I watch as palm trees bend and sway from the stiff wind in the courtyard below. The sound of water splashing in twin, 250-foot long, water fountains, nearly drowns out the sound of the palm fronds flapping wildly from the wind. The midnight air is comfortable, and carries a hint of jasmine and alyssum. The fountains have many lights which are changing colors in unison, illuminating the crystal clear water, causing the ripples to shimmer on the surface. It sounds like paradise, a resort in Mexico perhaps, however, if I look beyond the most distant palm trees who's trunks are spiraled with hundreds of white lights, I see two ribbons of light, red and white, moving in opposite directions.  It is interstate 5, somewhere in California's vast central valley.

  Inside the hotel room, all is quiet. Orion is passed out and Apollo is unwinding watching a movie; a sharp contrast from the car ride a few hours earlier. While driving on I-5, we watched a bright orange sun setting against a golden, cloudless horizon. The silhouettes of steel high voltage power line towers, looked like 100-foot tall giant stick-figures, marching in tandem to meet the sun where she touched pastel violet hills far off in the distance. Orion squealed with delight repeatedly from his carseat, while Apollo answered back matching pitch and decibel. The sound was deafening and almost spoiled the serenity of the setting sun which Melanie and I were trying to enjoy. This is the end result of driving nearly 2,500 miles in the past 11 days with little ones in the car.

 This last leg of our road trip was not planned but was an important one. Sixty hours ago, we left Santa Rosa for southern California, to visit my ailing father. My dad will be 82-years-old in a couple weeks. He is active and always on the go, and I have never known him to sit still for very long. He is one of the toughest people I have ever known. He never complains when he is sick or injured and has always kept moving when the same ailment would have left others flat on their backs. My dad has a giant's presence in any room and enjoys good conversation, story telling, political debates, and expressing his opinion whether you want to hear it or not. As you can imagine, when I hear my father is sick enough to be hospitalized, I know it has to be serious. I also know that he would not go to the hospital on his own, and it was my mother that dragged him there. My greek mother stands a mere 4 foot, 11 inches tall and is dwarfed by my fathers 6 foot, 1 inch frame, however, she can be very persuasive and forceful when needed.
  My father was hospitalized with heart failure, fever, loss of appetite, pain in his legs and hips, anemia, and low potassium, among other things. A whole battery of tests, and because of the perseverance of my greek mother, my dad was found to have an autoimmune disease, and is hopefully on the road to recovery. Our short trip to see him was both to be supportive and in hopes that seeing the grandchildren would lift my father's spirits. Because of some of the underlying conditions, visiting with my dad proved to be a real task. We were required to wear gloves and gowns and had to convince the nursing staff to allow Apollo and Orion into the room to see him. Fortunately, by Sunday afternoon, my father was discharged from the hospital with a diagnosis, direction, and a plan of action.

  I drove my dad and mom home from the hospital and I could tell that my dad was happy to finally be out of there and he was excited to be headed home. My parents live in the mountains. Their home is on a hillside, and consequently, there are thirty steps to get to their front door. As my father has too much pride to allow any one assist him, we watched helplessly as he climbed the steps slowly and deliberately, both hands grasping the hand rail on his right side, pulling himself up, while lifting his legs one by one. As hard as it was for me to watch, I imagine it was harder for him knowing that we were seeing him in this weakened state.
  As I needed to return home by sometime Monday morning, it was with heavy hearts that we departed my parents home and began the journey back to our own home. We would have liked nothing more than to spend a week with my parents helping them out while my dad began to mend. Alas, I find myself writing in the wee hours of the morning, instead of sleeping, trying to make some sense of our temporal existence, and our all too short visit with a wounded giant.

The Mungie

  I do not pretend to understand how the mind of a toddler works, but as I have said before, I find it fascinating! Apollo has some how come up with the word, "Mungie". How?...what?...where?...I may never know. The first time I heard him use this word or name, he was talking to a bowl of tadpoles that he had just helped to catch. "Hi lil' mungies", he would say repeatedly, "Dada, did you see my lil' mungies?" Over the course of the next few days, he started to call Orion, Mungie. I love nicknames, so as you can probably guess, Orion is now Mungie (among other things). Oddly enough, the name suites him; he is a lil' Mungie!
  June was a transitional month for our little Mungie. Orion reluctantly made the progression from crawling to walking. I say reluctantly, because as with Apollo, I think Orion has a better understanding of cause and effect, or action and reaction, than most kids his age. Simply put, the higher you fall from, the more it hurts. He has been walking around the house for months now with the aid of anything that would slide across the floor. On occasion, Orion would be preoccupied with a toy in his hands and he would forget that he was not holding on to anything and he would take a few un-assisted steps across the room. Once he noticed his error, he would squeal in discontent, and drop immediately to the floor.

 
Every day that passes, Orion waddles around on two feet more, and crawls less. How I miss his crawling already. It was like watching a mechanical windup toy crawl across the floor. Now a new era of terror has begun in the house of Miles.
    Everything sacred is in full lockdown mode. Cabinets, drawers, counters. Blender might be a better nickname for our little Mungie, as he leaves a path of destruction in his wake, that even a Vita-Mix would envy. Cant see into a drawer that is higher than your head? no problem! Just open it, stand on your tipi-toes, reach in and pull out everything that your little hands can grab, and throw it on the floor. And if you can't get a cabinet door or drawer to open, scream at the top of your lungs and throw yourself to the floor as if you just lost the world series, and then turn on the waterworks. This may not open anything, but apparently you sure feel much better afterward. (I might have to try this at work!)
  This twenty two pound baby of ours, pretty much runs the house. He is bossy, demanding, and loud.(Melanies genetic's) Those three traits are a bad combination. He wants what he wants, and he wants it now! He counteracts this with his sweetness and playfulness. If this little Mungie likes you, he will lay his head on you even if you are a dog laying on the floor or a radio playing a song he likes in the back yard. He is as much fun as he is trouble.

  The affect of Orion's larger than life presence in our home has begun to take its toll on Apollo. I believe that Apollo is feeling like he has been pushed aside and is now second to Orion. We have gone through great pains to avoid this predicament, yet we have found ourselves in the midst of it. Apollo mostly manifest this thru a bit of passive aggresive behavior, but he also will take it up a notch or two if the mood strikes him. Apollo likes to place toys just out of Orions reach, pinch his leg (unprovoked), block him from coming in or out of the house, or push him out of his way if Orion is trying to interact with him. It is challenging to find the right way to react to this type of behaviour in an effort to not perpetuate it further. Melanie has decided that the best approach is for Apollo to surrender on of his favorite toys as a consequence of his actions. The toy is placed on top of the refridgerator where he can see it as a constant reminder of the consequence until he earns it back for good behavior. This approach is working marginally well, however, I do enjoy the fact that Apollo will approach me when this happens and tell me his side of the story;
 "I am really mad at mama! She took my Finn McMissle car from me!" He will announce.
"Were you mean to baby brother?", I will enquire.
"Yes! Because he wouldn't stop looking at me! I want you to be rough to mama and put her in a time out and get me my Finn back!"
~~
  If I end up in the hospital, you will know that I tried to be "rough" with mama.

 

A Fathers day

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. I have tons to write about and I have attempted to write on many occasions, however, with the longer days, and two young children that are always on the go, it is hard to get a free moment to write a few paragraphs. I will finish up a post I started on fathers day and I hope to have a few more posts this month to make up for my lack of posts in June. ~~~

    Fathers Day.  I never really stopped to think about the significance of what it meant to be a father. Not that I did not spend a large amount of time weighing the pros and cons of fatherhood, because I did do that, but the great amount of sacrifice and greater amount of responsibility that I now realize comes with fatherhood, weighs heavy upon me. It is so easy, in most cases, to create life...to become a father, whether by choice or by accident. But, it is what we do with those lives that we created, that will build our legacy.
 Recently, a friend of mine passed away. Quite unexpected was his passing, and being but a few years older then I, it has left me to ponder many times into the wee hours of the morning, my own mortality and how that would affect Apollo and Orion. You can plan, make preparations, make back up plans...it really doesn't matter; at some point your time comes, and in an instant, everything changes. It pains me to think of my boys growing up without one of their parents. It is with this in mind that I approach the way I interact with my little ones. I try to envision how their last memory of me would be if this moment with them, were to be my last. I always try to leave things on a positive note. I always want to be their hero.

  I have had my fair share of loved ones pass away. For every departure, a scar remains, concealed only by the passing of time, yet deep inside, the wounds have never fully healed. I do my best to honor my dearly departed and I hope that I represent them well.
 As a 4-year-old, Apollo most likely does not have a full understanding of death, however, he understands a great deal and probably to a greater degree than I did at that age. He has had to watch some of our pets leave us, as well as wild critters (bug, mammal, fish, and fowl) that we have happened to encounter. We also discuss with Apollo about our loved ones that have departed this world. It is our way to honor their memory and keep them alive and also to keep our sons connected to their ancestors so that they will know where they come from. Apollo happened to be at his great grandpa Joe's house for the last two weeks of his life. At 20-months-old, Apollo does not remember this, however, he does remember his great grandpa. We show him pictures from time to time and talk to him about his great grandpa Joe, in hopes to keep his memories of him intact.
  It has been a few months since we have talked about Grandpa Joe, so you can imagine my surprise when Apollo approached me one day and proclaimed, "Dada, I want to go that big house by our snow house* to see grandpa Joe. I want him to see how big I got."
  I had to fight back the tears as a lump formed in my throat. This comment lead to a great conversation with Apollo about life and death.
 "Did grandpa Joe go to doggie heaven or people heaven?" Apollo asked.
"Well," I explained, "they are kind of the same place. But you have to be very special to get into doggie heaven, because only the best people are entrusted with looking after animals. I am pretty sure that Grandpa Joe is in doggie heaven right now taking care of Lucy, Nokia, and Diego (our dogs)."
"And Harold (our cockatoo), too?" he asked.
"Yup," I assured him, "and Harold too!"
"I want to go there and see him (Grandpa Joe)." Apollo replied.
"Yeah, thats not gonna happen until your at least a hundred-years-old!"

  As you can imagine, this opened up another, longer dialogue about growing old. It is in these moments that I realize my roll as a father is multi-faceted. I am a teacher, mentor, spiritual advisor, playmate, friend, and protector. These are some pretty big shoes to fill and at times I hardly feel worthy of such an honorable roll. As I stumble my way through fatherhood, I am constantly reminded of how lucky I am to stand where I am standing; whether it is Orion falling asleep in my arms or Apollo asking me endless questions about the world around him, I know that I am doing my best to build my own legacy.

(The last photo is Apollo with Grandpa Joe, Thanksgiving Day, 2008)
* Apollo refers to our home in Bend, Oregon as "our snow house". "that big house" is Grandpa Joe's house in Madras, OR.

A child's prayer

It is by far my favorite time of year. I am loving every minute of the longer days and warm temperatures. Our quaint little back yard offers a sanctuary from the daily grind. Our garden is leaping out of the ground and our summer flowers are starting to bloom. We have a planted, half wine barrel on our patio that is overflowing with star jasmine in a spectacular display of greens with the contrast of white, star-shaped flowers and an even more spectacular fragrance that hangs on the air as it moves about the yard. Lemons hang so abundantly from the tree in the corner of the yard that the branches are nearly touching the ground from the weight of the fruit. Bright blue Stellar's Jays, fly in and out of the fig tree checking for any fruits that are nearly ripened...they are counting the days and so are we.
  Dappled sunlight streams through the weathered 2x2 redwood slats that make up the patio cover. Our 10-month-old squeals with excitement as he races across the concrete in his "walker", trying to escape the spray of water that his 4-year-old brother "accidentally" showered him with while filling his baby blue, plastic play pool. This is the best part of the day for me. I have left work behind, and have done my best to block it out of my mind while I get to enjoy my wife and kids. It is crazy at times, the demands of parenthood, and there are times when I wonder, "What the heck was I thinking!" Were I not so enamored with my little ones and enjoying them so much, I would have lost my sanity by now.
 
  Orion is a screamer! I can't blame him. We have screaming parrots, a screaming 4-year-old, a loud teenager, and a boisterous wife and mother. (Sorry Mel) Orion was born screaming. Compared to Apollo's soft and quiet new-born cry, Orion was really loud and my first thought was, "Wow! Apollo wasn't this loud until he was over a year old." The screaming has been well developed now and encouraged by Apollo who will match him decibel for decibel. I know that I have some hearing loss, but the high pitched, shrill screams, leave my ears ringing, and my head aching. I am seriously thinking about picking up some earplugs. Orion has been cranky lately from teething and a growth spurt, so he makes his discomfort well known by exercising his rather large lungs and obnoxiously loud voice. With our windows open at night and all the time we spend outside, I am surprised that Children Services has not shown up to make sure we weren't beating him. Alas, his cuteness and sweet disposition more than make up for these trying times, and has given me the foresight to consider singing lessons when he is older...maybe opera.
  Then there is Apollo. It is challenging to convey in writing the sarcasm and timing that Apollo has. I have been laughing off and on for the last two days while driving or seated in my office, contemplating his quick wit and general irreverence. He really is a naughty little guy and although I will take credit for many of his less than favorable moments, comments, or actions, there are just as many that are all Apollo and I can not for the life of me figure out where he comes up with this stuff.
  I occasionally will come home from work to have lunch with Melanie and the little ones. Upon arriving home one day this week, I entered the house only to find that Apollo and Aden were the only ones at home. Aden was in the backyard tending to the parrots and their afternoon outing. Apollo was in the house and greeted me with a hug and then joined me for lunch. In the 30 minutes that I was at home, Apollo filled me in on all the happenings of the morning and left me in hysterics for my return trip to work.
  Seated side by side at the counter, I asked Apollo where his mom was. "She went to take Ian to the doctor," he replied. And because I am always sarcastic, I had to ask, "Are they checking out his brain?"
"No," he started, "they are checking out his body so he can go camping again." I had to chuckle at this since he was obviously listening to everyones conversations all morning; Melanie had taken Ian to the doctor to have a physical done, as a requirement for his summer job at a Boy Scout camp. About that time, Aden opened up the sliding door from the patio and peaked his head inside to check out the time. "Hi Aden. What are you doing?" I asked. "I am checking the time to see if the birds have been out for an hour yet, which they have been, so I can put them away," Aden responded. Apollo looked at me, cocked his head to the side, rolled his eyes and said, "We just got the birds out." Busted, Aden.

  The icing on the cake for my lunch time visit, came amidst the random conversation and questions. At some point, Apollo noticed a small hole on the sleeve of my shirt. He reached over, stuck his finger in it, and pulled, slightly tearing the fabric. "Apollo!" I said in a slightly stern voice with a look of disapproval on my face. He quickly retracted his hand, clasped his hands together in his lap, pursed his lips in a failed attempt to hold in a smile and said, "I don't know better." and then burst into laughter. "I was just pretending dada," he confessed. I have been laughing for two days over this.
  For an encore, Apollo out did himself tonight. We were all seated around the table for dinner when Melanie asked Ian to bless the food. As Ian started his prayer, Apollo decided that he would offer up his own prayer, and the first one that he has done unassisted, I might add. Talking over his brother, we heard; "...and bless momma and dada, especially dada because he is really naughty and he likes to say potty words. Amen!" Amen, indeed.