Mothers Day 2014

Transitions. I don't think they are ever easy, but some are much harder than others. This past year has been probably the most intense of my life, thus far, and we are still right in the middle of it all. Our two oldest boys are now out of the house and have moved on. Ian is gone to Argentina for two years, while Aden graduates from high school in a few weeks and is living with his girlfriend. This leaves just Melanie and I at home with Apollo and Orion. The plus side to this is way less mess, our utilities are down nearly 45%, and our food bill is a 1/3 of what it used to be. The down side is that Apollo and Orion miss their big brothers. Plus we no longer have built in baby sitters or an extra set of hands when we need them.
  For Melanie, things run much deeper. She has been a mother for 20 years now and is looking at many more years of kids at home. I can't even imagine things from her perspective but I do try to be empathetic about it. I know that in a blink of an eye, Apollo and Orion will be as old as Ian and Aden are now, and Ian and Aden will possibly be a bit more mature, and have families of their own by then. Its kind of weird to think about them in that aspect, but I am excited to see the type of men that transform into.

  I think any mother must have a sense of pride when she watches her children succeed in life, even when there is only a small accomplishment. As a father, I know I am that way with my boys, but I wonder how different it must be for a mother since she is the one that carried them for nine months and then gave birth to them; something I can never experience.
  I am thankful for Melanie being the mother of my children. I love the parts of her that I see in them. I love the moments when my boys are learning from their mom. I love when they seek her comfort and affection. I love when Melanie does crafts or projects with them. There is just a different way that they act and interact with their mom than they do their dad and for this I am thankful.
Happy Mothers Day Melanie.

Called to serve

There are hallmark moments in our lives that involve change, new adventure, misfortune, etc. It is those moments that growth occurs whether intentional or unintentional.
 Ian, our oldest son has embraced all of that and set out on an adventure of his own. Its not like this was a spur of the moment decision on his part, he has planned and saved for this for a couple of years. So, why did he leave a disaster in his wake? Well we, as parents know why, but I want to know why maybe he couldn't just take some time and at least pack up some of the things that he values. Instead he left a path of destruction and left Melanie and I to pick up the pieces...and the mess. And no, he wasn't busy working or going to school, just procrastination and avoidance.
Yes, I am having a bit of fun at Ian's expense. The truth is, he is a great kid. I could not be prouder of him and the choices that he has made. I am envious of the adventure that he has just embarked on.  He has done something that I was not brave enough to do it at his age.
For what its worth, I see the divinity in Ian's calling. If you know Ian, he will spend all day  talking about fishing, guns, explosives  and more fishing. It is Ironic that he was called to serve in foreign country where he will need to learn a new language. It will take him a while to be able to talk about fishing, or guns non stop in Spanish, forcing him to focus on the language and the gospel.
   For the past 3 months, since his call arrived, we have had to drag Ian through every part of getting ready for his mission. It has been a bit of a challenge for us as parents, but that is who Ian is. Yes, it was a pain, but we knew going in to this that we would have to lead him through the process to get him ready.
 As it came closer to the time that Ian was scheduled to leave, Melanie and I both became concerned that something bad, could or would happen to Ian to keep him from going. We both had premonitions if you will, that maybe we should lock Ian in the house for the last week before he left. We discussed it a few times in the week prior to Ian leaving...Actually, we discussed taking his truck keys away. Wouldn't you know it, 3 days before he leaves, Ian has an accident on the freeway where he rear ends another vehicle. It could have been way worse and we are happy and feel blessed that nobody was hurt. Yet it is just one more mess left for us to clean up in his absence. Never mind that I already had the truck sold, was going to cancel his insurance this week and remove the vehicle from my policy. Its all material. I am sure it will make for a good story one day.

  As for Ian, we all miss him. Orion has handed me the phone and asked me to "Call Ian, right now." Apollo is trying to understand how long 2 years is and asks me how many days that is. They adore their brother and will miss him.  As for me, I am excited for the opportunity that has come his way. Buenos Aires, Argentina will be lucky to have Ian and I can't wait to see the man that returns two years from now.

Happy 6th Birthday Apollo!

Irreverent, rowdy, rambunctious, comedic, happy, funny, obnoxious, and shy. This pretty much sums up Apollo's personality as a 5-year-old. Where has the past 6 years gone? I cannot believe this boy of mine is growing up so quickly. What a blessing and a joy he is to me. He carries so much of my personality, yet he is uniquely Apollo.
  Some of my favorite things about Apollo this past year are as follows;
1) Singing.
2) Ad-libbing to songs that he sings and then laughing hysterically at himself.
3) His sense of humor
4) The things that he finds funny; especially if it is something that I say or do.
5) The moments that he finds it in himself to be nice to Orion
6) His ability to have a real conversation, (even though it has to be coaxed out of him at times)
7) His love and respect for all things living
8) His uncontrollable urge to make faces when a camera is pointed at him.
9) How much he wants to kiss his girlfriends

10) How much he likes us to pack his school lunch because it has all his favorite things in it.

As I hugged Apollo tonight for the last time as a 5-year-old, I felt a bit nostalgic and sad. Tomorrow he turns 6. His last month of kindergarten starts this week, and soon he will be a 1st grader.
  He wants to know when he will lose his first tooth. Worries about what 1st grade will be like. Struggles with uncertainty. Likes sleeping in his own bed in his own room. Wants to understand how things work and what they are for. Wants to be first between him and Orion, as if everything is a competition. Mimics everything that comes out of Orion's mouth because he finds humor in words that are mispronounced. Has strong opinions. Enjoys teasing Orion...constantly.
I love that he thinks so much, but often worry that he thinks too much for his age.

  Happy birthday to the most amazing 6-her-old son that a father could ask for. You always know how to make me laugh, make me smile, and show me new ways to be a better father. I love you for being you and look forward to what this year has in store.
Happy Birthday Apollo.

It all about where you say it

Language alert; If you are offended by foul language, you may want to skip this post. I make no excuse for this because this is a part of parenting.

One of the things we do as parents, is try to instill in our kids, the appropriate time and place to use certain words or phrases. Its bad enough that when they are learning how to speak, words like truck, ship, hill, etc. are enunciated clearly, and with great enthusiasm I might add, in their 4-letter-word counter part. How do you convey to a 2-year-old, that there is no "F" in truck? Of course my biggest downfall is the fact that I cannot help myself from laughing when this happens. This serves only to encourage the child to say that word more, and draws "stink eye" from my sweet wife.
  Apollo latched on to the words infection and affection at 3 1/2. He was banished to the bathroom if he felt inclined blurt those words out at the top of his lungs, which he often did...repeatedly...because yes, I would start laughing. The only way to counter this was to teach him that those were potty words and they should only be used in the 'potty room'. Melanie's idea by the way. He understood perfectly, however, I can tell you, he would get in the bathroom and just let loose with his words. I would have to leave the house just to save face with my wife for laughing so hard. On top of his bathroom outbursts, he would occasionally incorporate a colorful word or phrase into a random conversation. Obviously he heard these things somewhere. I have my suspicions as to where, but the wife and the older boys aren't confessing to anything.
  Now Apollo is nearly 6 and well into kindergarten. We have not had outbursts like that in nearly 1 1/2 years now. Oh how I miss them. And Orion, although he talks non-stop, he just has not had many word malfunctions...yet. I must admit that I can hardy wait for his turn to come up. I don't know why I find it so funny, but I do.
  You can imagine my surprise after a long hiatus from hearing something colorful come out of his mouth, in a random conversation, Apollo tells me, "We shouldn't say 'shit' because its a bad word."
"Excuse me," I say to him, eyebrows raised in surprise.
"You can only say 'shit' in the bathroom," he replied in a very matter-of-fact manner,  "You can also say 'shit' if its really loud and no one else can hear you."
Of course I burst into laughter, "Is it really loud now? Because I can hear you and we are in the kitchen, not the bathroom," I reply.
"No," he says, "It's not loud, I am just telling you so you know."
"Good to know son," I reply, "good to know."

Musical Beds

 

I have confessed before that I am okay with our little boys sleeping with us. I feel like I don't get to spend enough time with them in any given day, so if at the very least, we can lay in bed together, read stories, sing songs, laugh and then they fall asleep in the crooks of my arms, I am pretty content.
  Apollo was more or less evicted from our bed when Orion came along 2 and 1/2 years ago, but has still been in our room. We happen to have a single bed at the foot of our kingsize bed. Apollo has gone back and forth between his own room and our room, sleeping in the single bed, but I gave up on trying to keep him in his own room when he started to feel like Orion took his place.
  So here is the problem; my offspring are wild when they sleep. They toss, turn, kick, flop, flip, kick the covers off, head-butt, and scream out. All to Melanie's dismay I might add. She blames it all on my genetics and I will accept full responsibility for that. Now that Orion is 2 1/2, we have begun a transitional phase. Apollo is back in his own room, and he is really liking it. Orion, although he will sometimes fall asleep in Apollos bed, he does not like to sleep in the other room. That is okay for now, because he is sleeping in the bed at the foot of our bed, at least for part of the night.

  I can almost set my clock by their sleeping patterns. On a typical night, Apollo will arrive at the foot of our bed around 1:30am. He will grab my foot and shake it. This means, wake up and come to my bed. Which I do. I will follow him back to his bed, lie down with him for a couple minutes and if I don't fall asleep, I will come back to our bed as soon as Apollo goes back to sleep. At 2:30am, I will hear a smack at the foot of our bed. This is usually Orion kicking the foot board, or even hitting his head against it. I can hear the blankets being kicked around, and then feel Orion scramble over the foot board and crawl his way up between Melanie and I. Depending on his mood, I can sometimes scoop him up, take him back to his bed and crawl under the covers with him until he falls back to sleep. Sometimes, Orion will demand that I get in bed with him, and other times he will protest; "I want to lay with mama."
  Needless to say, I don't always get enough sleep, however, it is all worth it. In a blink of an eye, these two little boys of mine will be grown, and I know I will miss these nights.
  But I have to say, the best parts of my night, is when both kids are in their own bed, and I can snuggle up against my wife. Even when she tells me I am moving too much, or by moving the covers, I am letting the cold air in. Eventually, she too becomes content or should I say, I will stay motionless long enough that she will fall asleep in my arms.
  As for me; I will relish this fleeting moment of blissful rest in my own bed, before I begin my night of musical beds.

The hands and the blue ball

There are stories that I keep in reserve, either waiting for the right time to tell them or the right way to tell them. Often they are of the more personal variety or have deeper or spiritual type of undertones that are a little more difficult to convey thoughts and feelings about.
  There are those moments in our life that we can't explain. You know something happened, watched it happen, felt it, yet you are left to question what really happened if anything at all. I have learned while watching Apollo and Orion grow through their infant and toddler years that some things that appear to be totally random, may very well not be.
  It was early January, on a Sunday evening I believe. I was home with Apollo and Orion while Melanie was at a church function. Orion fell asleep earlier than normal, and woke up about 7:30pm and was completely inconsolable, to the point that he only wanted his mom. After a about 90 minutes, I called Melanie and she hurried home and took Orion to the bath. Within minutes, he was back to his happy normal self. I could hear him laughing and splashing in the tub and squealing with excitement. Moments later, a dripping wet, naked baby emerged from the bath room.
  "Brrrrrrrr...Dada I need a tow-w-w-w-wel!" Orion announced as he ran in place, bent arms to his chest and his teeth chattering.
  I wrapped a towel around him and scooped him up into my arms. Orion was smiling from ear to ear. I carried him down the hall with me to retrieve a diaper from the living room. The whole time we were talking about who knows what... idle toddle chatter I am sure. Upon returning with Orion to our bedroom, I laid him down on the the bed on his back. The lights in the room were off but the lights in the walk in closet were on and the door was open all the way. The room was fairly well lit and the light was to my back. I unwrapped the towel that surrounded Orion, and began to put his diaper on. Immediately Orion's gaze was drawn off from my eyes up to the ceiling above his head.
He pointed to the ceiling and asked, "Dada, is that your hands?"

"My hands?" I replied, "my hands are right here silly," blowing off the seemingly random comment from a 2-year-old.
"Dada, that your hands right there!" he insisted pointing towards the ceiling over my head. In that moment, I realized that Orion was really seeing something. I assumed that he was seeing a shadow on the ceiling, so I looked up expecting to see the reflexion of a moth in the light or something causing a shadow. There was nothing there.
"See dada, that your hands, right there," he said again.
"I don't see anything Mungie," I replied.
"Right there dada!" Orion pointed insistently.
  I began to think 'this is really weird'. I searched his eyes and face and watched his eyes follow something on the ceiling. In that instance, I had the realization that there were two possibilities; Either he was seeing something that I could not, or he was hallucinating. My heart sank a bit as I was worried something might be wrong with him.
"Dada! Is that your blue ball?" Orion asked with excitement, his face and eyes lit up.
"What blue ball?" I asked laughing, while fastening his diaper.
"That blue ball right there!" This time reaching with both hands towards the ceiling trying to grab something.
  I reached out and grabbed Orion's hands and pulled him up to his feet, while he rotated his head back not to loose sight of the "blue ball."
"Huh," Orion's eyes searched the ceiling, "Its gone!" he continued, "I want to see it again!" Orion closed his eyes tight, held them shut for a few seconds, opened them and searched the ceiling again."
I was chuckling out loud at his antics.
"It not working!" he went on, "I want to see it again!" Again he closed his eyes tightly for a few moments, opened them and once again scanned the ceiling.
  After a few moments, he gave up the search, looked at me and said, "Its gone. I'm hungry dada," climbed off the the bed and ran to the kitchen.
  A million  thoughts were racing through my head. I kept coming back to the fact that Orion was hallucinating. There ways no two-ways about it. It made me sick to think that there was something wrong with him. Brain tumor, epilepsy, some sort of mental disorder...my mind raced with all kinds of horrible things. I made the decision to keep it from Melanie until the following morning so only one of us was lying awake at night stewing about it and not both.
  I told Melanie early the next morning and had her set up an appointment with the pediatrician. With in a couple days we were awaiting the results of a full blood panel and scheduling an EEG brain scan (electroencephalogram).  It was a nerve racking couple weeks as we waited for the EEG and the impending results.
 I am happy to report that Orion is perfectly normal and healthy. But in the end, I am left perplexed. I was there and experienced this with Orion. I watched his face and his eyes and there is no doubt in my mind that he saw something, or shall I say hands and a blue ball. I am further perplexed by his reaction when I stood him up and whatever he saw disappeared. Why would he think to close his eyes tightly and then reopen them hoping that what he saw would reappear? At the time of this incident, Orion was 29-months-old. I feel that he has a better understanding of what happened than I do. In the months that have passed since, Orion often looks to the bedroom ceiling, searching for the hands and the blue ball. As recent as a week ago, Orion looks to the ceiling as he climbed into our bad pointed at the ceiling and told me, "Dada, I don't see your hands right there."

The Sweet Smell of Success...Part 2; Orion

6:00am. I step out into the cool, pre-dawn air. The street is silent and still. The sky is clear and dark and Mars is shining redder than I have ever seen. Venus is just cresting the hill top to the east of my house. I breath in the day and can't help but marvel at the celestial spectacle as I head off to work knowing that I may go all day with out a glimpse of the sun, which in and of itself, by contrast, makes me a bit sad.

  With some major changes at my place of employment, I have found myself in a precarious position. I have, by necessity, taken on the workload of a second person and suffice it to say, I have been working long days and 6 to 7 days a week. I am at the top rung of the company ladder and feel the weight of dozens of others dangling below me, knowing all too well that much of their livelihood is dependent upon me doing my job correctly and efficiently. Talk about pressure.
  The irony is that I left my company behind 4 1/2 years ago to leave that feeling and burden behind me by working for somebody else. I am not trying to sound prideful, unthankful, or arrogant; I know that if I left or if something happened to me, the company would be fine and there would be others happy to step into my shoes. I am thankful for my job and love the people I work with and work for. My point is that, sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. I work my ass off because I know that others are relying on me to land contracts that will ultimately give them the means to put food on their own table. It has been a rough couple of months for me as the company goes through this transitional period. I don't mind the long hours, the spread sheets, number crunching, problem solving, etc. , but what I do mind is the reduced amount of time I have to spend with my family. I would not be doing this if it was not temporary. There is no amount of money that is more precious to me than the time that I can spend with my family. I miss them and I know they miss me.

   While I have been busy with work, Melanie has been busy potty training Orion. This blog is long over due as we declared victory in mid January and now it is early March and I am just getting around to finishing this post. Yes Orion is potty trained and I have to give Melanie 100% credit for this. I think it was a 70%/30% effort with Apollo, but as busy as I have been, and with Orion refusing to wear diapers any longer, Melanie stepped up to the challenge and made it happen. I have to tell you that we had a few heated discussions about potty training this past December. Melanie was ready to throw in the towel and take a break for a few months, and I wanted her to keep going. Trust me, she did not bend to my will at all; through research she found that stopping the process of potty training would send mixed signals to Orion and possibly make potty training harder. So, Melanie bared down and spent the better part of three whole days sitting on the bathroom floor reading stories and putting on puppet shows for Orion as he sat upon his potty chair.
  She did employ one of my tactics though; bribery. It worked like a charm for Apollo. Offering up a small toy for each success. Apollo potty trained a lot quicker than Orion, but Apollo milked the prizes for months. Orion, on the other hand, realized that he was being bribed and after a few days he quit asking for a toy for every turd.
  It is almost like finding a stash of money once you are done potty training. We spent a small fortune on diapers and wipes. It seamed like every other week we bought a case of each. Diapers and wipes alone made a Costco membership necessary.
  The baby phase is done in our house. I have mixed emotions this. While I am glad to be rid of diapers, I really miss the little baby that was so easily held, took midday naps, and was happy to sit in the bike trailer on long bike rides. on the other hand, I am looking forward to all the things we can start doing now that Orion is older and more able.
  The surplus diapers have become a bed wetting safety net while the wipes are now for hands faces instead of wiping butts, and I am basking in the glory of the sweet smell of success.