Travel weary and tired

 I can't imagine life being any other way. What I mean is, life with my family. This week will mark three years since Orion was born...THREE YEARS! Whoa! Where did those years go? We seem to be busier than ever and have a huge time deficit. Sleep is on the losing end of the spectrum when trying to fit in all the things that we want to do in any given day, week, or month. Its summer after all and we are taking advantage of the beautiful weather and warm sunshine, spending every moment we can out-of-doors.

  I was fortunate enough to take the family to Hawaii this year. What a great time that was. Even more fortunate was my wife, Apollo, and Orion who subsequently took a trip to Oregon followed by a week in North Carolina. A friend made the comment to me when learning that my family was on their 3rd vacation in two months, "Wow, your wife sure gets a lot of paid vacations!"
"She doesn't get any paid vacations," I refuted.
"Why sure she does," he replied, offering up his infinite wisdom, "She vacations, and you pay!"
I walked right into that one.  The truth is, we have both worked for it. Yes, I stayed behind and worked to pay the bills and tend to the zoo, but taking the kids by herself, was the real job.
  Although I would have loved to have gone with them on both of these adventures, I am glad that Melanie and the boys had the opportunity to spend some good quality time with parts of the family that they normally don't see too often.

  For my part, the house was empty, quiet, and lonely. I stayed busy with work, catching up on home projects, running, swimming, and biking. I tried to spend as much time in the sun as I possibly could and tried to keep my mind occupied. I don't care for the quiet house. I will take the mess and the noise any day if it meant that I was spending time with my family.

  After being gone for eight days, I picked Melanie and the boys up from the San Francisco Airport this afternoon. They were a sight for sore eyes. Travel weary and tired, I loaded them up in the car and spent the next two hours in traffic listening to the highlights of the trip from three different people. Now its 7:15 pm, and all three of them are already sleeping. They are on east coast time after all, and have been up since 1:30am (our time) so they could catch the early flight out.
 I tuck all three of them into their beds, one at a time, and then I watched them sleep for several minutes; silent, motionless, peaceful... I miss them dearly, and the four hours between the airport and bedtime was not enough time for me. All I want to do is wake them up. I want to tickle and wrestle with Apollo and Orion. I want to hear them laugh and scream while I chase them around. Then I want to talk to Melanie. So many things I want to ask her about.

As luck would have it, I will arise before they wake and leave the house while they are still deep in slumber. I will make my rounds from one bed to the next, kiss them, tell them I love them, and then slip quietly out the door on my own adventure. They are safely home, but I am still missing them.

Summer Bliss

This has been an amazing summer. I have to confess that it is the best summer I have had in a few years. I can list all of the reasons, but suffice it to say, most of it comes down to attitude. This has been a year of change and the pattern of stagnation that I felt at the end of 2013 (and the past few years prior) has been broken. Giving credit where credit is due, I have to say that Melanie was an integral part of the process. I feel liberated in ways, uncertain in others, but stronger and happier for it. Many new challenges have presented themselves, and the process of working through them is exciting. This is also the busiest summer we have had in a while. We are constantly on the go, never a moment or a day where we just sit back and relax. School starts in a month and there will be plenty of times that we will be forced to slow down to adapt to Apollo's school schedule, and honestly I am not looking forward to a regimented routine.
  The Airport Club has been our guilty pleasure this summer. I have to say that it is a really nice club. We are there nearly every day. With the warm weather, we are in the pool with the boys 3 to 5 times per week.
   Its hard to not love swimming, but to watch the boys hone their skills has been a real treat for me. Apollo started the season hesitant to put his face in the water, and now he is swimming all over the pool,  doing front and back flips underwater, swimming to the bottom of the pool, and interacting with new friends. Orion, started the season wanting to spend his time in the shallow kid pool, or on the steps of the big pool. In Hawaii, he decided to start holding his breath and go underwater. Once we got back, he gained momentum at the club, and started to go deeper and hold his breath longer and longer. This past week (a month after Hawaii), Orion started to tell me that he couldn't "swim like Apollo," and would do so in an unhappy manner. I kept telling him that his mom and I would teach him how to swim like his brother, but in his normal defiant manner, he would yell, "NO! I don't want you to teach me!"
  As with everything else he does, Orion decided on his own, when he would let go of the hand rail at the pool stairs, and try his hand at swimming. That day was this past Saturday.

  "Dada," he began, "I'm going to swim now! Go under water and watch me!" He took a deep breath, dropped his head below the surface of the water, let go of the hand rail and started kicking his legs. He was smiling from ear to ear as he made his way towards me.
  After a few seconds, I grabbed Orion and pushed him above water, worried that he would run out of breath.
  "Dada! I was swimming!" he snapped at me, "don't take me out of the water!"
For the next two hours, Orion swam his little heart out. We couldn't wait to show his mom when she finished her shift and joined us at the pool. In the mean time, I enjoyed the proud father moments as person after person asked me how old he was and how long he has been taking lessons for.
  "Not yet three," I would answer, "he has never had a lesson. His mom and I are teaching him." Now it was my turn to smile from ear to ear. The truth is that Orion taught himself, all from watching his brother and other kids swimming. In the mean time, I will take a bit of credit for his swimming abilities, until he is old enough to call me out on it...which will probably be sometime in the near future.

  

"Gorgeous! Just Gorgeous!"

  Being a parent is not easy, but what a ride it is. Yes there are trials and hard days and moments you just want to scream as loud as you can, maybe even run from the house and light yourself on fire...but the rest of it is amazing.

  I watch Apollo and Orion, the things that they do and say, and I am still blown by them on a daily basis. They bring me so much joy and laughter. How I see them inside and out can be summed up in three words uttered by a complete stranger in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii on our last day there; "Gorgeous! Just gorgeous!" We were walking down the street to a beach, and this random lady and her male companion were sitting in front of an old church, just watching us walk towards them. She smiled admiringly at Apollo and Orion and spoke those sweet words...Gorgeous! Just gorgeous!
  Both boys have such incredible personalities yet are so different from one another. Apollo, even though he can be extremely shy and leery of strangers, has the personality of a comedian. Melanie and I both arrived at the conclusion independent of one another, that we could see him becoming a comedian some day. He is goofy, has a great sense of humor, makes others laugh with ease, and impersonates everyone around him.

 Apollo thrives on the energy given by others when he is in "performance" mode. I am sure I had everything to do with teaching him this behavior, mostly by reinforcing it by laughing uncontrollably. I get scolded for this by my darling wife but honestly, it is a very fine line between curbing a bad behavior and encouraging a personality to blossom. My logic is that if I find it funny (albeit inappropriate at times) then it must be funny...right? Yes, this gets me in a lot of trouble around my house.
  On the flight back from Hawaii, we were on our final descent. Apollo was in the middle seat, I was in the aisle seat, and another boy, about the age of 9 or 10 was seated in the window seat. Apollo went in to full on performance mode. He had me and the boy by the window laughing uncontrollably. He turned every comment, word, view out the window, etc, into a bit of comedy. His altered voice and facial expressions were outrageous. I tried to cover his mouth several times, but I was laughing to hard for him to take me seriously. After the plane landed, we stood up and waited for other passengers to move down the aisle out of our way. The lady directly across the aisle from me sparked up a conversation;
"You ought to get that one into acting school. He is hilarious. I have been a school teacher for 25 years, 8 and 9 year olds, and I can tell you that he truly has a comedic gift."
We talked about Apollo for about 5 minutes while he entertained the little boy sitting next to him. Apollo broke the ice with this older boy before the plane left Hawaii. At first the older boy seemed annoyed with Apollo, but Apollo won him over with, "Raise your hand if your going to California," His hand held high looking at me, then the older boy then back to me.
"Um," the little boy answered, "The whole plane is going to California."
"What? I thought we were going to Rio!" Apollo replied sarcastically. Both the boy and I began to laugh.
   This is one of Apollo's gifts. He is quick witted and sometimes annoying as he is constantly mimicking others. We try to teach him that its not always appropriate to impersonate others, but at this point we are loosing the battle.

  Orion...this baby boy is the sweetest, most affectionate little guy. He is not afraid to show you that he loves you. But by sharp contrast, he is fiercely independent and bossy. He will not let you do anything for him that he can do for himself. It is refreshing most times but honestly, getting in the car is a long process requiring patience from his mom and I. He has to open his own door, climb in, and strap himself into the car seat.
  "Wait guys! I'm not ready yet," he calls out from the back seat, "Okay, I'm ready now." Yes, we have been reduced to being called "guy's".
  He is engaging and energetic. Some of my best moment during the week are picking him up from child care at the club. He screams with excitement, "My dada is here!" while jumping up and down with excitement. He will run in place for a moment then run to great me with open arms, "Dada, did you come to pick me up?"

  Orion is also on the fast track to do everything Apollo can do, but three years sooner. The Airport Club, Melanie's work, has turned out to be a true blessing for our family. Not only are we taking advantage of the facilities, but we have so much fun with the boys there. The rock climbing wall and the swimming pools are there favorites. Apollo went from not wanting to put his face in the water back in March, to being a fish. We taught him to snorkel at the club and it really made for a fun time in Hawaii. Orion, while in Hawaii, decided that it would be fun to go under water just like everyone else. The first dozen times resulted in spitting up some water and coughing, but he would not be deterred, and as always, he only wanted to do it by himself. With in a couple days of getting back to the main land, Orion was going to the bottom of the 3 1/2 foot deep end of the pool. "Let's g under water!" he says before disappearing under the surface of the water. He smiles the whole time while under and shakes his head around. He will do this for 2 hours straight and can hold his breath now for nearly 30 seconds. Its quite impressive.

  With summer upon us, the sun shinning, vacations, adventures, both boys look the part of beach bums. I am in love with how cute they both are. Blond hair for Orion, highlights for Apollo, tan skin, sandals and shirtless; Gorgeous,just gorgeous!

Our first trip to Hawaii

Hawaii...What can I say? It is an amazing and beautiful place and I have loved it since the first time that I went there with my parents at age 15. Each time I go, I am more drawn to the islands. I almost moved to Maui once, and seriously considered moving the family to the big island another time. For myself, I could live anywhere tropical. Give me beaches, warm clear ocean water, humidity, tropical fruits, and plenty of warm sunshine and I will make it my home and be perfectly happy.
  I was fortunate enough to spend six weeks on a very small, private Fijian island once. I fell in love with it: I loved the people, the lifestyle, the land, and the sea. But that is a story for another day.

  This trip to Hawaii  contained many firsts for all of us: The first time on a plane for Apollo and Orion. The first time to the big island for myself, and the first time to Hawaii for Melanie... and Apollo and Orion for that matter.
  This trip was completely my idea, and to be honest about it, I did meet some opposition from Melanie when I first started planning it. I believe the comment was, "Hawaii is not even on my top 25 list of places to visit." I was persistent and after she spoke with a few friends about Hawaii, she agreed that she would go and make the best of it. Sure, there are many places in the world on my list to go, but how many of them are feasible with small children, without it turning into the trip from hell. My thought was that I knew Melanie would love a lot of things about Hawaii, the boys would have a great time, and to take the four of us, it would be relatively affordable. I needed a vacation where we did not have to spend a couple days driving, and have to spend another couple days visiting family and friends. Not that there is anything wrong with visiting with our loved ones, but our time is always short and we are always rushed. Hawaii seemed like the perfect place to do exactly the opposite of that.

  For Melanie, I know certain things that would amaze her in Hawaii, namely; snorkeling, the fish, the reefs, the flora and fawn, and of course the weather. Was I being selfish? Absolutely! Did things turn out the way I had hoped? Definitely! Actually, even better than I had hoped. There are things that would have made the trip better for Melanie and I, such as some alone time, being able to snorkel alone together, walks on the beach, sunsets, walking under the stars, etc....but that would be for our next trip and obviously I would not be sharing much of that here. ;) I am a bit of a romantic so I really feel like we missed out on those things this time, but I would not trade the family time we spent together.

  I have a deep connection for nature and all things living, and in Hawaii, nature is in her best form. I could spend all day snorkeling and playing on or in the water. I am a very sensory-tuned individual, by which I mean, I relish in the way things look, smell, taste, feel, and sound. For me, I take every bit of those sensations in. It is what drives me and makes me feel alive. I love filling my nose with the sweet smell of plumeria with every breath, and the many other varieties of fragrant flowers, lush earth, and warm ocean air.

I love the warmth of the sun as it toasts my bare skin, the warm ocean water as it glides across my body, feeling the different temperatures in the currents.
  I love the sounds of the birds, the wind through the palm trees, the waves as they crash against the rocks, and even the sounds you hear underwater in the ocean, the most prevalent of which are the loud clicks of parrot fish biting off pieces of coral.

 I love the taste of all the fresh Hawaiian fruits, Everything, and I mean everything, just tastes so much better there.

The islands are beautiful to behold in many ways: The water, the land, the sky. Even walking down a city street, I look at and notice the tiniest plants and flowers, or in the rainforest where everything is so green and lush, overgrown and of impressive size, or that amazing water that is so clear, and all the beautiful fish and wild life which she holds.

 Favorite memories from Hawaii:

The boys excitement getting on the jet.
Snorkeling.
The boys seeing their first fish underwater.
Melanie and the boys dancing to live music in front of a cafe.
Stand up Paddle boarding.
Honu (Sea turtles)
Plumeria and palm trees
Exploring

  Favorite things I heard on our trip:
On our way from the airport to hotel room, Orion kept saying "Wow! Where are we?" As he looked around as I drove. "Hawaii," I finally answered. "I love this place!" he exclaimed.
Apollo: "My first day in Hawaii and I peed my pants!"
Melanie: "I always saw myself as kind of bohemian or a hippie, turns out I am really just a beach bum."
Melanie: "I could see myself living here."
Apollo: "A Humu-humu what?" laughing hysterically as I told him the name of the Hawaii state fish (Humuhumnukunukuapua'a). "Say that word again, dada!"

Orion: "Dada! I see another lizard!" Several times each day.

Orion: "We're going on a ship!" Planes are planes, small jets are jets, and large jets are "ships".

A vacation is a vacation and like all vacations, unfortunately it had to come to an end. We packed our bags and solemnly boarded our "ship". Because of a seating mix up, I even tried to get them to bump us from the flight so we could spend one more night in Hawaii. They weren't having it. Alas, we said good bye to the big island as our ship rose from the ground, climbed through the clouds and pointed us towards home.   

Mothers Day 2014

Transitions. I don't think they are ever easy, but some are much harder than others. This past year has been probably the most intense of my life, thus far, and we are still right in the middle of it all. Our two oldest boys are now out of the house and have moved on. Ian is gone to Argentina for two years, while Aden graduates from high school in a few weeks and is living with his girlfriend. This leaves just Melanie and I at home with Apollo and Orion. The plus side to this is way less mess, our utilities are down nearly 45%, and our food bill is a 1/3 of what it used to be. The down side is that Apollo and Orion miss their big brothers. Plus we no longer have built in baby sitters or an extra set of hands when we need them.
  For Melanie, things run much deeper. She has been a mother for 20 years now and is looking at many more years of kids at home. I can't even imagine things from her perspective but I do try to be empathetic about it. I know that in a blink of an eye, Apollo and Orion will be as old as Ian and Aden are now, and Ian and Aden will possibly be a bit more mature, and have families of their own by then. Its kind of weird to think about them in that aspect, but I am excited to see the type of men that transform into.

  I think any mother must have a sense of pride when she watches her children succeed in life, even when there is only a small accomplishment. As a father, I know I am that way with my boys, but I wonder how different it must be for a mother since she is the one that carried them for nine months and then gave birth to them; something I can never experience.
  I am thankful for Melanie being the mother of my children. I love the parts of her that I see in them. I love the moments when my boys are learning from their mom. I love when they seek her comfort and affection. I love when Melanie does crafts or projects with them. There is just a different way that they act and interact with their mom than they do their dad and for this I am thankful.
Happy Mothers Day Melanie.

Called to serve

There are hallmark moments in our lives that involve change, new adventure, misfortune, etc. It is those moments that growth occurs whether intentional or unintentional.
 Ian, our oldest son has embraced all of that and set out on an adventure of his own. Its not like this was a spur of the moment decision on his part, he has planned and saved for this for a couple of years. So, why did he leave a disaster in his wake? Well we, as parents know why, but I want to know why maybe he couldn't just take some time and at least pack up some of the things that he values. Instead he left a path of destruction and left Melanie and I to pick up the pieces...and the mess. And no, he wasn't busy working or going to school, just procrastination and avoidance.
Yes, I am having a bit of fun at Ian's expense. The truth is, he is a great kid. I could not be prouder of him and the choices that he has made. I am envious of the adventure that he has just embarked on.  He has done something that I was not brave enough to do it at his age.
For what its worth, I see the divinity in Ian's calling. If you know Ian, he will spend all day  talking about fishing, guns, explosives  and more fishing. It is Ironic that he was called to serve in foreign country where he will need to learn a new language. It will take him a while to be able to talk about fishing, or guns non stop in Spanish, forcing him to focus on the language and the gospel.
   For the past 3 months, since his call arrived, we have had to drag Ian through every part of getting ready for his mission. It has been a bit of a challenge for us as parents, but that is who Ian is. Yes, it was a pain, but we knew going in to this that we would have to lead him through the process to get him ready.
 As it came closer to the time that Ian was scheduled to leave, Melanie and I both became concerned that something bad, could or would happen to Ian to keep him from going. We both had premonitions if you will, that maybe we should lock Ian in the house for the last week before he left. We discussed it a few times in the week prior to Ian leaving...Actually, we discussed taking his truck keys away. Wouldn't you know it, 3 days before he leaves, Ian has an accident on the freeway where he rear ends another vehicle. It could have been way worse and we are happy and feel blessed that nobody was hurt. Yet it is just one more mess left for us to clean up in his absence. Never mind that I already had the truck sold, was going to cancel his insurance this week and remove the vehicle from my policy. Its all material. I am sure it will make for a good story one day.

  As for Ian, we all miss him. Orion has handed me the phone and asked me to "Call Ian, right now." Apollo is trying to understand how long 2 years is and asks me how many days that is. They adore their brother and will miss him.  As for me, I am excited for the opportunity that has come his way. Buenos Aires, Argentina will be lucky to have Ian and I can't wait to see the man that returns two years from now.

Happy 6th Birthday Apollo!

Irreverent, rowdy, rambunctious, comedic, happy, funny, obnoxious, and shy. This pretty much sums up Apollo's personality as a 5-year-old. Where has the past 6 years gone? I cannot believe this boy of mine is growing up so quickly. What a blessing and a joy he is to me. He carries so much of my personality, yet he is uniquely Apollo.
  Some of my favorite things about Apollo this past year are as follows;
1) Singing.
2) Ad-libbing to songs that he sings and then laughing hysterically at himself.
3) His sense of humor
4) The things that he finds funny; especially if it is something that I say or do.
5) The moments that he finds it in himself to be nice to Orion
6) His ability to have a real conversation, (even though it has to be coaxed out of him at times)
7) His love and respect for all things living
8) His uncontrollable urge to make faces when a camera is pointed at him.
9) How much he wants to kiss his girlfriends

10) How much he likes us to pack his school lunch because it has all his favorite things in it.

As I hugged Apollo tonight for the last time as a 5-year-old, I felt a bit nostalgic and sad. Tomorrow he turns 6. His last month of kindergarten starts this week, and soon he will be a 1st grader.
  He wants to know when he will lose his first tooth. Worries about what 1st grade will be like. Struggles with uncertainty. Likes sleeping in his own bed in his own room. Wants to understand how things work and what they are for. Wants to be first between him and Orion, as if everything is a competition. Mimics everything that comes out of Orion's mouth because he finds humor in words that are mispronounced. Has strong opinions. Enjoys teasing Orion...constantly.
I love that he thinks so much, but often worry that he thinks too much for his age.

  Happy birthday to the most amazing 6-her-old son that a father could ask for. You always know how to make me laugh, make me smile, and show me new ways to be a better father. I love you for being you and look forward to what this year has in store.
Happy Birthday Apollo.