A month of adventures

"Oooh! That water sounds beautiful!" Apollo exclaims, as the trail nears a section of stream where the water is babbling and bubbling over a collection of river rocks protruding from the water, "That's my favorite water sound."

  It is in these moments where a parents return-on-investment far exceeds their greatest expectations. At least for me it does. I am fortunate enough to have a wife that shares my love for the outdoors, loves to explore, camp, hike, search tide pools, turn over logs and rocks, all in the name of finding critters and sharing knowledge of the world with Apollo and Orion. Did I mention she (Melanie) is nearly an expert in all things bugs?

 This summer has been one of the best in quite some time for all the aforementioned reasons. I am not sure if we have had more adventures than normal, or that the boys are old enough to actually enjoy them, allowing us as parents to enjoy ourselves. The past month has been even more extraordinary as we have been camping nearly every weekend. It seems that we have been on a roll of endless adventures. I can't remember the last time I sat in front of the tv, watched a movie, or even worked on a blog or book for that matter. I am not complaining though, as the memories we make, give my life true purpose and meaning while enriching the lives of our boys.

  Somehow, we have also managed to turn our adventures and active lives into a lifestyle that the boys see as normal, and that is an accomplishment to be proud of. I love that we can get on our bikes and ride over 30 miles, pulling the boys the entire way, and they see it as a normal day. Hiking and turning over logs and rocks looking for bugs, lizards, frogs, salamanders, and scorpions...it's just what we do. I think the boys assume everyone does the same things that we do.

Apollo and Orion don't lament not being able to spend the day on the couch watching cartoons and playing video games. They just accept that we spend our family days together... outside. If it's warm weather, we usually end our day at the pool, swimming. But first we may check the boys into the clubs' day care while Melanie and I sneak off for a run or to swim some laps, returning to collect the them before they had a chance to miss us. They get some socializing and play time with other kids, and we get our adult time and a workout in. In the end, we look like heroes by finishing the day in the pool with them...a perfect way to cool down after a day of bike riding or hiking.

As part of exploring, we also teach our boys how to respect nature; returning the critters unharmed where we found them, placing the logs and rocks back in place, and leaving the area looking like we found it. 

 Apollo has become very aware of nature husbandry, so-much-so, that he has gotten upset when someone throws rocks into the water, worried that a fish will get hurt. I have had to explain to him on more than one occasion that the odds of that happening are pretty slim.

The boys will randomly recall moments from our adventures and their faces will completely light up as they recount them to me. I feel an overwhelming amount of satisfaction in those moments, however, my best memories come from the times when the boys made me laugh the hardest. A favorite moment (captured in a photo in this post) is when an alligator lizard latched onto Melanie's thumb and Apollo and Orion burst into laughter at the carnage. Another favorite memory of mine has to do with Apollo's personality manifesting in such a way as to make his dad very proud. I found an exoskeleton of a cicada (thanks for the bug ID Melanie). Both boys wanted to hold it, and since Orion asked first, I placed it in his hand. Apollo became impatient and kept trying to take the exoskeleton from Orion, which started an argument of course:

"Apollo! Your going to hurt him!"

"He's not even alive Orion."

"Yes he is!"

"No he isn't!"

"Yes! he IS alive, Apollo!"

In a glowing instance of part genius, part smart ass, and 100% Apollo, Apollo furls his brow and spouts off to Orion, "Wake him up then, Orion!"

Summer ends, 1st grade begins

Why does summer seem to go by so fast? Its back to school for Apollo, which means a well deserved break for Melanie, read as: one less kid to contend with for 6 1/2 hours a day, but the school routine is kinda cutting into our summer fun. I am already lamenting the shorter days, earlier bed times, cooler weather, less time in the sun, and fewer evenings in the pool.
 
 

Apollo is a 1st grader now. This is his second year in a Spanish immersion program. Thus far, although he has some apprehensions about school in general, he is a good student. Apollo is very bright, and I am always blown away with how perceptive and insightful he is about things. There are some areas for concern however. Yes, I like to believe that my kids are perfect, and to me, they very much are, but I cant deny that I see character traits that will not fit in the mold that society has prepared for him. For this I am actually thankful. I want my kids to be different, but they need to learn to navigate around the "mold" to come out ahead. The real challenge is for us as parents: How do we help him be the person that he is, and at the same time help him to "fit in" with his peer group? Its not that he is awkward in any way, it is a simple matter of who he chooses to interact with and how. We try to help him find words for what he is feeling and ways for him to address those feelings.
  My favorite thing (and sometimes least favorite) about Apollo is that he can mimic and impersonate anyone. My personal favorite is when he impersonates me, especially me laughing. Once he starts in, I can't can't contain my own laughter. Apollo feeds off of this and mocks me even more. He has quite a talent for this. As much as I enjoy this behavior, his constant mimicry of Orion is aggravating after a while. Apparently he does this with his friends as well...at school, at the health club...anywhere, ALL the time. It will be interesting to see how well this is plays out for him. It border lines on being a bully at times.

We are considering getting him into theater as an outlet for his comedic talents. In the mean time, Melanie has informed me that I will be the one making the visits to the school for all behavioral matters...she blames my genetics after all.

  While Apollo is busy being a comedian/quasi-bully, Orion is busy saying the cutest and sweetest things. "See Apollo, I told ya!" - making a point to show his brother he was right.
 "I like chocolate milk because it tastes good,"- when asked why he always wants chocolate milk.
 "Dada, I want you to throw me in the sky like an airplane,"-every time we are in the pool together.
 "HEY! Mama put a baby diaper on me!" - Upon waking up in the morning and finding a pull-up on that wasn't there when he went to sleep. He gets very angry about this. (I am the one that puts them on him, but I let his mom take fall)
"Is it time to wake up yet?"-while prying my eyes open at 6am, "The sun is up, dada!"

My personal favorite for the past month was a conversation I had with Orion while lying in bed with him one night tucking him in. "Orion, you're getting so big!" I stated.
"I'm not big! I'm little!" he snapped back in protest.
Surprised by this I asked, "Don't you want to get big like Apollo?"
"No. I want to stay little," he replied.
"Why do you want to stay little?"
"Because, I'm dada's baby!" he answered, the meaning deeper than the words could convey.
A lump formed in my throat as I reassured him, "Orion, you will always be dada's baby. Even when you are as big as dada."
His grip tightened around my arm and within minutes he was fast asleep. I think 3-years-old is my favorite age.

  

I blame the kids

Life is a balancing act. We have to find balance in all that we do to keep our sanity. The biggest factor in this for me is, time. Time is always against us. I can not remember the last instance when I had an extra moment of time to sit and do nothing, or even have a thought enter my head about what to do with this extra time that I have. Every minute of the day is budgeted. My list of "to do's" is longer than can possibly be fit into a calendar day.

 I blame the kids.  Certainly every moment of my day revolves around them, not to the degree that it does for my wife, however, I choose what time I go to and come home from work, based on the needs of our boys and in consideration of my wife's work schedule and needs. From the moment I get home, the clock starts ticking. We have to squeeze in house keeping and yard maintenance, attending to the needs of our pets, homework, dinner, making lunches for Apollo for the next day, making breakfast for Melanie and I for the following morning, then the bed time routine begins which involves reading stories, song time, negotiations (Apollo and Orion trying to work a deal to stay up later), and if we are really lucky on a rare occasion, we might have both boys asleep by 8:00 or 8:30 pm. Then there is the kitchen to finish cleaning up after the dinner mess, and always some laundry to fold and put away. Add in to the mix that on a typical evening, in the midst of all this and before bedtime, Melanie and I will try to get to the gym to fit in a work out. This is the one thing that revolves around us and not the kids...remember my opening paragraph about keeping our sanity? Working out is part of this for us.

By 10:00 pm, we throw in the towel. Our list is nowhere near done, but at some point we have to say "enough is enough" for today. The problem is that this is the only time that we can sit down, without having to meet the needs of our kids, and do some of the things that we are passionate about. Imagine that; having our own hobby's or passions! It's a novel idea really. The problem is that after 10 pm, my creative mind is beginning to dwindle, and my brain starts shutting down altogether. This is a real problem because what I really want to do is write. It is the same for Melanie...the writing part, not the brain shutting down. She will often choose to stay up until midnight writing. I, on the other hand, will usually fall asleep at my Mac while typing mid-sentence, as my day starts at 5:00 am and I am cutting into my sleep.

So, yes. I blame the kids. This may sound like a negative statement, but for me, it comes from a deep

place of love and admiration for them. The trade off for lack of time for myself and lack of sleep is completely unbalanced in my favor. I don't think they will ever fully comprehend how much joy, happiness, and fun that they bring into my life on a daily basis. I ask my self every night if I have done enough for them or with them. I always feel that I have fallen short.  I will gladly fall asleep at my keyboard night after night delaying the completion of my books, blogs, short stories, etc., if it means that I spend some extra quality time with them. It takes me a week some times to write a blog that should take me an hour. A chapter should take me a week to write...it takes me a month. I don't begrudge them for this.

I blame the kids for my happiness. I blame the kids for my laughter. I blame the kids for my desire to be a better father. I blame the kids for my striving to be a better husband. I blame the kids for my efforts to be healthy.

 I know all too well how quickly life can change or come to an end, so I choose to invest my time with my family. There is nothing I value more than my time with them. I may be 50-years old before I finish my first book, but when I am asked why it took me so long to write, I will gladly say; "I blame the kids."

Orion turns 3

11:32pm, exactly to the minute, 3 years to the day that Orion was born, I walked into the house after an epic adventure in the mountains with some an incredible people, just in time to give my sleeping baby a birthday kiss. The adventure is a story for another blog, for another day, however, as my adventure was cut short unexpectedly, I was happy to make it home for Orion's birthday even though he was already sleeping.

  It has been an amazing ride with my youngest son. He entered the world in a fury, and although we were back to square-one as parents, Orion brought a much needed balance to our family. The dichotomy between Apollo and Orion and there personalities, is astounding at times, and the two of them together, keep my smiling and laughing. Where Apollo is caution, Orion is abandon. Where Apollo is intense, Orion is easy going. Where Apollo is shy, Orion is outgoing.

  Orion was exceptionally cute when he was born. He had the bluest eyes for the first few months and I had hopes that his eyes would end up green like his moms. As luck would have it, he has the deepest, darkest, brown eyes of all the boys. His dark eyes suit him; They add contrast and mystery to his light complexion. Orion is always smiling, and in the moments where he is not, all you have to do is smile at him and he will smile back. He has the biggest heart and offers it up freely. He hugs and kisses his mom and I constantly. Even When Apollo torments him all day, Orion still wants to hug him and snuggle up against him on the couch.

One of my favorite things about Orion is that he loves anything that fly's; airplanes, jets, rockets, helicopters, etc. Every toy he has, he turns into a flying vehicle. He runs around the yards with his arms swept back making jet and plane sounds.  Orion tries to keep up with his six-year-old brother and as a result, he is ahead of other kids his age. For his second birthday, we got Orion a balance bike and he took off riding it and balancing on it like it was nothing. Before his 3rd birthday, he was swimming without floaties (which he has always refused to wear) and jumping in from the side of the pool. He has been climbing on jungle-gyms at the park, and going down big slides on his own from the time he was able to walk, which by-the-way, he started walking early too. One of the best things about this sweet boy, is the fact that he loves to help. He wants to be involved in everything. He helps with dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and sweeping. We never have to ask him to help, he just jumps in as soon as he sees someone doing something. He has even taken the clothes out of the washer and put them into the dryer and started it all on his own. 

  Although the three years have gone by in an instant, I have enjoyed and cherish every moment of Orion's life. He is a real treasure. 

Happy 3rd birthday Orion!! You are a special young man and an amazing son. I love you!

Travel weary and tired

 I can't imagine life being any other way. What I mean is, life with my family. This week will mark three years since Orion was born...THREE YEARS! Whoa! Where did those years go? We seem to be busier than ever and have a huge time deficit. Sleep is on the losing end of the spectrum when trying to fit in all the things that we want to do in any given day, week, or month. Its summer after all and we are taking advantage of the beautiful weather and warm sunshine, spending every moment we can out-of-doors.

  I was fortunate enough to take the family to Hawaii this year. What a great time that was. Even more fortunate was my wife, Apollo, and Orion who subsequently took a trip to Oregon followed by a week in North Carolina. A friend made the comment to me when learning that my family was on their 3rd vacation in two months, "Wow, your wife sure gets a lot of paid vacations!"
"She doesn't get any paid vacations," I refuted.
"Why sure she does," he replied, offering up his infinite wisdom, "She vacations, and you pay!"
I walked right into that one.  The truth is, we have both worked for it. Yes, I stayed behind and worked to pay the bills and tend to the zoo, but taking the kids by herself, was the real job.
  Although I would have loved to have gone with them on both of these adventures, I am glad that Melanie and the boys had the opportunity to spend some good quality time with parts of the family that they normally don't see too often.

  For my part, the house was empty, quiet, and lonely. I stayed busy with work, catching up on home projects, running, swimming, and biking. I tried to spend as much time in the sun as I possibly could and tried to keep my mind occupied. I don't care for the quiet house. I will take the mess and the noise any day if it meant that I was spending time with my family.

  After being gone for eight days, I picked Melanie and the boys up from the San Francisco Airport this afternoon. They were a sight for sore eyes. Travel weary and tired, I loaded them up in the car and spent the next two hours in traffic listening to the highlights of the trip from three different people. Now its 7:15 pm, and all three of them are already sleeping. They are on east coast time after all, and have been up since 1:30am (our time) so they could catch the early flight out.
 I tuck all three of them into their beds, one at a time, and then I watched them sleep for several minutes; silent, motionless, peaceful... I miss them dearly, and the four hours between the airport and bedtime was not enough time for me. All I want to do is wake them up. I want to tickle and wrestle with Apollo and Orion. I want to hear them laugh and scream while I chase them around. Then I want to talk to Melanie. So many things I want to ask her about.

As luck would have it, I will arise before they wake and leave the house while they are still deep in slumber. I will make my rounds from one bed to the next, kiss them, tell them I love them, and then slip quietly out the door on my own adventure. They are safely home, but I am still missing them.

Summer Bliss

This has been an amazing summer. I have to confess that it is the best summer I have had in a few years. I can list all of the reasons, but suffice it to say, most of it comes down to attitude. This has been a year of change and the pattern of stagnation that I felt at the end of 2013 (and the past few years prior) has been broken. Giving credit where credit is due, I have to say that Melanie was an integral part of the process. I feel liberated in ways, uncertain in others, but stronger and happier for it. Many new challenges have presented themselves, and the process of working through them is exciting. This is also the busiest summer we have had in a while. We are constantly on the go, never a moment or a day where we just sit back and relax. School starts in a month and there will be plenty of times that we will be forced to slow down to adapt to Apollo's school schedule, and honestly I am not looking forward to a regimented routine.
  The Airport Club has been our guilty pleasure this summer. I have to say that it is a really nice club. We are there nearly every day. With the warm weather, we are in the pool with the boys 3 to 5 times per week.
   Its hard to not love swimming, but to watch the boys hone their skills has been a real treat for me. Apollo started the season hesitant to put his face in the water, and now he is swimming all over the pool,  doing front and back flips underwater, swimming to the bottom of the pool, and interacting with new friends. Orion, started the season wanting to spend his time in the shallow kid pool, or on the steps of the big pool. In Hawaii, he decided to start holding his breath and go underwater. Once we got back, he gained momentum at the club, and started to go deeper and hold his breath longer and longer. This past week (a month after Hawaii), Orion started to tell me that he couldn't "swim like Apollo," and would do so in an unhappy manner. I kept telling him that his mom and I would teach him how to swim like his brother, but in his normal defiant manner, he would yell, "NO! I don't want you to teach me!"
  As with everything else he does, Orion decided on his own, when he would let go of the hand rail at the pool stairs, and try his hand at swimming. That day was this past Saturday.

  "Dada," he began, "I'm going to swim now! Go under water and watch me!" He took a deep breath, dropped his head below the surface of the water, let go of the hand rail and started kicking his legs. He was smiling from ear to ear as he made his way towards me.
  After a few seconds, I grabbed Orion and pushed him above water, worried that he would run out of breath.
  "Dada! I was swimming!" he snapped at me, "don't take me out of the water!"
For the next two hours, Orion swam his little heart out. We couldn't wait to show his mom when she finished her shift and joined us at the pool. In the mean time, I enjoyed the proud father moments as person after person asked me how old he was and how long he has been taking lessons for.
  "Not yet three," I would answer, "he has never had a lesson. His mom and I are teaching him." Now it was my turn to smile from ear to ear. The truth is that Orion taught himself, all from watching his brother and other kids swimming. In the mean time, I will take a bit of credit for his swimming abilities, until he is old enough to call me out on it...which will probably be sometime in the near future.

  

"Gorgeous! Just Gorgeous!"

  Being a parent is not easy, but what a ride it is. Yes there are trials and hard days and moments you just want to scream as loud as you can, maybe even run from the house and light yourself on fire...but the rest of it is amazing.

  I watch Apollo and Orion, the things that they do and say, and I am still blown by them on a daily basis. They bring me so much joy and laughter. How I see them inside and out can be summed up in three words uttered by a complete stranger in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii on our last day there; "Gorgeous! Just gorgeous!" We were walking down the street to a beach, and this random lady and her male companion were sitting in front of an old church, just watching us walk towards them. She smiled admiringly at Apollo and Orion and spoke those sweet words...Gorgeous! Just gorgeous!
  Both boys have such incredible personalities yet are so different from one another. Apollo, even though he can be extremely shy and leery of strangers, has the personality of a comedian. Melanie and I both arrived at the conclusion independent of one another, that we could see him becoming a comedian some day. He is goofy, has a great sense of humor, makes others laugh with ease, and impersonates everyone around him.

 Apollo thrives on the energy given by others when he is in "performance" mode. I am sure I had everything to do with teaching him this behavior, mostly by reinforcing it by laughing uncontrollably. I get scolded for this by my darling wife but honestly, it is a very fine line between curbing a bad behavior and encouraging a personality to blossom. My logic is that if I find it funny (albeit inappropriate at times) then it must be funny...right? Yes, this gets me in a lot of trouble around my house.
  On the flight back from Hawaii, we were on our final descent. Apollo was in the middle seat, I was in the aisle seat, and another boy, about the age of 9 or 10 was seated in the window seat. Apollo went in to full on performance mode. He had me and the boy by the window laughing uncontrollably. He turned every comment, word, view out the window, etc, into a bit of comedy. His altered voice and facial expressions were outrageous. I tried to cover his mouth several times, but I was laughing to hard for him to take me seriously. After the plane landed, we stood up and waited for other passengers to move down the aisle out of our way. The lady directly across the aisle from me sparked up a conversation;
"You ought to get that one into acting school. He is hilarious. I have been a school teacher for 25 years, 8 and 9 year olds, and I can tell you that he truly has a comedic gift."
We talked about Apollo for about 5 minutes while he entertained the little boy sitting next to him. Apollo broke the ice with this older boy before the plane left Hawaii. At first the older boy seemed annoyed with Apollo, but Apollo won him over with, "Raise your hand if your going to California," His hand held high looking at me, then the older boy then back to me.
"Um," the little boy answered, "The whole plane is going to California."
"What? I thought we were going to Rio!" Apollo replied sarcastically. Both the boy and I began to laugh.
   This is one of Apollo's gifts. He is quick witted and sometimes annoying as he is constantly mimicking others. We try to teach him that its not always appropriate to impersonate others, but at this point we are loosing the battle.

  Orion...this baby boy is the sweetest, most affectionate little guy. He is not afraid to show you that he loves you. But by sharp contrast, he is fiercely independent and bossy. He will not let you do anything for him that he can do for himself. It is refreshing most times but honestly, getting in the car is a long process requiring patience from his mom and I. He has to open his own door, climb in, and strap himself into the car seat.
  "Wait guys! I'm not ready yet," he calls out from the back seat, "Okay, I'm ready now." Yes, we have been reduced to being called "guy's".
  He is engaging and energetic. Some of my best moment during the week are picking him up from child care at the club. He screams with excitement, "My dada is here!" while jumping up and down with excitement. He will run in place for a moment then run to great me with open arms, "Dada, did you come to pick me up?"

  Orion is also on the fast track to do everything Apollo can do, but three years sooner. The Airport Club, Melanie's work, has turned out to be a true blessing for our family. Not only are we taking advantage of the facilities, but we have so much fun with the boys there. The rock climbing wall and the swimming pools are there favorites. Apollo went from not wanting to put his face in the water back in March, to being a fish. We taught him to snorkel at the club and it really made for a fun time in Hawaii. Orion, while in Hawaii, decided that it would be fun to go under water just like everyone else. The first dozen times resulted in spitting up some water and coughing, but he would not be deterred, and as always, he only wanted to do it by himself. With in a couple days of getting back to the main land, Orion was going to the bottom of the 3 1/2 foot deep end of the pool. "Let's g under water!" he says before disappearing under the surface of the water. He smiles the whole time while under and shakes his head around. He will do this for 2 hours straight and can hold his breath now for nearly 30 seconds. Its quite impressive.

  With summer upon us, the sun shinning, vacations, adventures, both boys look the part of beach bums. I am in love with how cute they both are. Blond hair for Orion, highlights for Apollo, tan skin, sandals and shirtless; Gorgeous,just gorgeous!