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| I can do it mama |
As my internal clock is set to wake me up at 5 am, I often find myself sitting alone, in the den, on Saturday or Sunday mornings, while the rest of the family sleeps. I love this time to myself as it affords me the opportunity to write, research, or reflect. Sure, I could probably go back to sleep for couple hours, but, this really is the only time in the week I can have totally to myself.
Here we are; the second trimester. The past couple months have given me plenty of time to let it sink in that I have another baby on the way. I am still, for the most part, in disbelief. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited, but nervous none the less. So many things cross my mind; I worry about Melanie making it through the pregnancy with her sanity intact; I worry about the babies health, about the delivery, Melanie's health, or if Ian and Aden will still be living at home when they turn 30, and having Apollo drive them around ( I think Mel worries about this one, too), etc... I know that worrying in and of itself, is not productive, however, I find that it gives me great insight into what the future can, or will hold, but more importantly, helps me find solutions to some of the impending changes that are about to be bestowed upon us. The most worrisome part of what I foresee, is the financial stability of the economy, and the state of the world that my children will grow up in. The world is changing. I want to show my children all the beauty that this world has to offer, but, how realistic will that be when they are 7 and 10? 11 and 14? 15 and 18?
I can only hope that taxes and inflation do not smother us in the way that many economists are projecting, and that there will still be places in the world that US citizen's can travel safely. I know I have no control of these things and only time will tell the tale.
What I can control is, the relationship and quality of time I spend with my children. We may not be able to afford to visit the seven wonders of the world as a family at this time, but we do make it a point to camp, visit the beach, go to air shows, and seize upon any opportunity that comes our way. The past two and a half years have been financially challenging for us, yet, when I look at it from Apollo's perspective, there is no way that he can know that, no more than I knew as a child in the 1970's, that my family had financial hardships. As far as he is concerned, life is good.
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| Dance with me Remi |
The weekends are my time to be Apollo's side kick, and give Melanie a bit of a reprieve from my high maintenance offspring. I am not saying that Melanie checks out for the weekend, only that Apollo is high maintenance, and I deal with him as much as I can, to give Melly a little break. He is very different than Ian and Aden. I don't know what they were like as toddlers, but I suspect that many clues to their personalities now, were prevalent back then. As I understand it, they were pretty complacent, and their moms word was golden. Apollo is demanding, stubborn, independent (in a very codependent sort of way), and has a memory that rivals even my own. (Yes, I did just pat myself on the back) A couple nights ago, 11:28pm; "Mama, I want a jelly sandwich", "Apollo, it is too late. You have to wait until breakfast...after the sun comes up." she replied. "NOOO!" insert the tears and theatrics here. "Dada, I want a jelly sandwich and some chocolate milk!" "Apollo!" His mom interjects, "Its too late. Its time for sleep! You have to wait until the sun comes up" "NOOO MAMA! You don't talk to Apollo! Apollo only talking to DADA!" Yes, I am the softy, but I do hold my ground on issues like this, which upsets Apollo even more. We repeatedly told him, that it was too late and that he would have to wait for breakfast. Eventually, he fell asleep. His first words the following morning, even before he was fully awake..."Jelly sandwich. See?...The sun is up." You can't promise this kid anything unless you intend to deliver.
Apollo wants to do things his way and with out help. His first answer to any question is almost always "no". He has to be sold on any idea if it is not his own. Once you sell the idea, you are rewarded with "Hmmm.....Okay."
In contrast to his stubbornness, Apollo is always quick to say "please" and "thank you", and truly is thankful when he says it. He also has a very sweet side. He will, out of the blue, run up to you, grab your leg and hug you, and then proclaim, "I love you sooo much"
Here we are; the second trimester. The past couple months have given me plenty of time to let it sink in that I have another baby on the way. I am still, for the most part, in disbelief. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited, but nervous none the less. So many things cross my mind; I worry about Melanie making it through the pregnancy with her sanity intact; I worry about the babies health, about the delivery, Melanie's health, or if Ian and Aden will still be living at home when they turn 30, and having Apollo drive them around ( I think Mel worries about this one, too), etc... I know that worrying in and of itself, is not productive, however, I find that it gives me great insight into what the future can, or will hold, but more importantly, helps me find solutions to some of the impending changes that are about to be bestowed upon us. The most worrisome part of what I foresee, is the financial stability of the economy, and the state of the world that my children will grow up in. The world is changing. I want to show my children all the beauty that this world has to offer, but, how realistic will that be when they are 7 and 10? 11 and 14? 15 and 18?
