Flying again

 And he's up! Orion leaped up onto his feet within days of learning how to crawl. He pulls himself up onto everything; the dishwasher, couch, chairs, buckets, boxes, toys, etc.. He is on the fast track to walking. He has a ways to go with his balance and falling skills, but none the less, he is standing and moving about on his feet. Orion is into everything. He is very mobile and crawls anywhere in the house he wants to go and then gets into cupboards, or pulls himself up so he can reach things that are over his head. He is very active and is always on the move. Apollo was crawling at this age too, but he was doing the army belly crawl, and did not get up onto his knees until about 8 months.
  Orion has the most adorable baby crawl that I have seen. It is almost mechanical in nature. He spreads his hands open wide, with his palms flat, and lifts his arms very deliberately one by one as he crawls and then slaps them on the floor. I love hearing the slap of his little hands hitting the floors as he crawls about. It is the one thing I will really miss once he starts walking.
  Orion has also mastered his walker and can nearly sprint across the room when his in it. He loves the mobility that it offers  him and he follows everyone around the house... well mostly just his mom.

  All baby boys at this age are "momma's boys", how could they not be, but Orion is tenfold what Apollo ever was. Apollo was almost as happy with his dad holding him as he was when his mom held him, but Orion can hardly stand to be away from his mom.  He becomes very upset if you are holding him and he can see his mom. He will instantly go into the desperate "I need my mom" cry when she enters the room and will start arching his back and pushing off of you in an attempt to escape his captor and try to reach his mom. I swear this kid has been saying "momma" since he was 3 1/2 months old. I have to say that against all odds,  I can often over come this unjust behavior, if I take Orion into a different room, place him on his favorite position on my lap and start bouncing him on my knee, while singing softly or humming. His body will eventually relax, and sleep will finally take him. My reward as second favorite parent, is being able to hold this little sleeping angel in my arms; few moments are more precious than this. And in an instant, Orion won't be an infant anymore and I will miss these moments greatly. It seems like just yesterday that Apollo was this little and I could hold him in my arms and watch him sleep.
                                    ~~~~~~
  Spring time is erupting all over the area here. It comes early in this part of the country. What started as a dusting of yellow mustard blossoms in January, has erupted into a full on display of deep yellow rows contrasted by the brown, twisted rows of  grape vines. White calla lilies are blooming everywhere along with daffodils and orange button daisies. There are trees covered in yellow feathery flowers, and magnolia trees packed with pastel pink flowers the size of saucers. The crabapple, plum, and cherry trees are covered in blossoms and the air is filled with their heady perfume.
 I admit that I have been a little stressed out lately and had failed to see this colorful display all around me. It took a warm day and a drive to a job site with the windows down, and a gust of cherry blossom filled air. Mother nature slapped me upside the head and in an instant I realized that I had been missing one of my favorite times of the year. In hindsight, I had been seeing the flowers, but it just wasn't registering; yea, I would say I have a lot on my mind.

  Apollo enjoys the spring as well and loves the increased bee activity on the rosemary blossoms in the front yard. He likes to 'pet' the bees right between their wings. We have warned him that he will get stung one of these days if he keeps it up. His little heart will be broken that one of his "little guys" turned on him, yet his stubbornness and defiant nature, both of which he inherited from his mom, by the way (just kidding Mel), over rule the 'better judgment' part of his brain every time.
  Apollo has a keen sense of sarcasm, and enjoys using it as often as he can. "Zip it dada! I was talking to momma!", "What did you say to my face?" (Thanks Alex), "I will come over there!",  "If you keep making me mad, I am going to say really bad potty words!"...These are my favorite Apollo phrases right now. I love that in casual conversation, if he asks you a question, and you do not respond in a timely manner, he will mutter, "Not talking?" in a very condescending voice.
 I know this stuff grates on Melanie but I am very much enjoying every minute of this. It is very endearing to me.

  As Apollo nears his 4th birthday, I feel that the age of the tyrannical 3's, is starting to wind down. Melanie will probably disagree with this statement as I am sure she still believes he is a tyrant, but I must say that I have seen a change, albeit a small one. He is more articulate in his conversations. He has started to find the use of manners, and using the words 'please' and 'thank you' have their benefits. Our conversations have become more meaningful, and thought provoking. I must say that I am often astounded by the insight a three-year-old can have.
  This past week, I was watching a video on my computer while waiting for Apollo to come to bed. I was watching an extreme proximity flying video. If you have not seen one of these, basically it is people wearing a winged flight suit that jump off of cliffs and glide down through valleys and crevasses, and over the tops of the trees.
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Need4Speed: Insight from Phoenix Fly on Vimeo.

 When Apollo entered the room, he immediately said, "Dada, that is where me and you were flying! Is that you in the movie? Do you remember last day (last time) when we went flying there?" Apollo has had dreams about us flying together. I even blogged about it a few months ago. I have never done this, but being a skydiver, I am fascinated with this sport. What struck me about Apollo's comments and questions, is that his dreams must have looked very similar to this. That he believes I was really part of his dreams and that I experienced them in the same way he did. We watched a couple of videos together and the whole time he wanted to know which 'guy' was dada, which one was momma, and which one was him.
  With a few yawns and heavy eyelids, Apollo closed his eyes; "Dada, I want to go flying with you again tomorrow." And fell fast asleep.

Everlasting sunlight

Apollo and Lucy. Early 2009

For an animal lover, there are few people in this world that can touch our lives the way our pets can. We have had our fair share of pets come and go in the ten years that Melanie and I have been together, and it is never easy to say good bye. This week, we had to say good bye to our beloved Lucy. Lucy was a month away from her 16th birthday. She was the quiet, soft hearted, nurturing member of our pack. Her peaceful disposition and personality were always over shadowed by the other rambunctious members of our household.  As quiet as she was, our home feels emptier and quieter in her absence.

Apollo and Lucy on the dog bed (2009)

  February 2002, I moved to Bend Oregon. A few weeks later, Melanie and I started dating. It was in March that I was invited to Melanie's home for the first time. Upon my arrival, Melanie greeted me at the door, and forewarned me that one of her dogs, a Boston Terrier named Lucy, was a dog that she had rescued from a breeder a few years earlier and that Lucy hated men. Melanie told me that is was best if I ignored her as she would be leery and suspicious of me and it would take a while for her to warm up, if she even would at all. Eager to impress and competitive enough that I wanted to prove Melanie wrong, I entered her home ready for the challenge.  

 I soon heard the charge of two dogs hurrying in from the backyard at an urgent pace, growling all the way, ready to pounce upon this new intruder... yours truly. Nokia, Melanie's Blue Healer, instantly started wagging her tail, allowed me to pet her, then promptly ran off to find a ball, or a stick for me to throw for her. Then came Lucy. From Melanie's warning, I had anticipated a timid but aggressive little yap dog that was going to stand at the far end of the room and bark at me for an hour. Instead, I see this sweet little dog come around the corner that was so submissive, that I knew I would win her over in a heart beat. "Well hello little doggy!" I called to her as I bent over to offer up some scratches behind the ear. Immediately, Lucy's whole back end began to wag too and fro, her ears dropped and she ran up and greeted me as an old friend. I took a seat on the couch and Lucy jumped up, and plopped her body across my lap. In 30 seconds, I had won over Lucy... and Melanie. I was very proud of myself at that moment. "Yup, a real man hater, this one," I muttered smugly as I scratched the face and ears of my new dog. 

Lucy and Xerxes, December 2008

Lucy was a frisky and very sweet soul. She was so submissive though, that Nokia used to lay right in front of the dog door to block Lucy from reentering the house. Lucy would stand outside in the cold and often in the snow, shivering, just waiting for Nokia to let her in. In 2004, Diego, a Pomeranian-Chihuahua mix,came into our lives, and quickly became Lucy's advocate and would run interference with Nokia to allow Lucy access to the doggy door and the food and water bowls. As Lucy began to lose her eyesight and hearing, Diego became her eyes and ears, and she followed Diego everywhere. Diego was hit by a car and killed in 2009. Lucy stood over his lifeless body for hours, wailing. I have never seen such compassion and sorrow expressed by one animal for another. As if our hearts weren't broken enough, we had to see Lucy grieve so hard. Lucy mourned Diego for many months, and she was never really the same after he was gone.

Diego and Lucy. Bath time! (2008)

  My favorite thing about Lucy was her love of the sun and warmth. Until the day that she died, Lucy would go from room to room following the sun to lay in her favorite sunny spots as she soaked up the heat. Anytime the fireplace was on, you could find Lucy laying directly in front of it.
  Lucy had many challenges through out her life. She was plagued with seizures which is why she was retired from breeding. Her previous owner wanted to have her put to sleep because of the seizures, which is how Melanie came to adopt her. Diet modification was all that was needed to control the problem. Lucy also had several tumors removed over the years, some of them cancerous. As I stated previously, Lucy also began to lose her eyesight, and was nearly blind in the end. She has been completely deaf in the last couple years as well. Tumors began to consume Lucy's body in the last 4 to 6 months. Although not in pain, they slowly began to take their toll on this sweet soul. Lucy had one large 'mast cell' tumor that grew at a rapid rate. Melanie tended to Lucy daily, hot packing her tumor and cleaning her and dressing her in old t-shirts to cover the tumor and keep lucy from scratching it. Lucy relished in her daily grooming. We had agreed that as long as she wasn't in pain and had quality of life, we would keep her around and do what we could to keep her comfortable. We had given Lucy the nick-name of "Zombie-dog" in the last few months. It seemed only fitting with her cloudy, blue colored eyes, and tattered and often bloody t-shirts.

Lucy on Valentines Day, 2012

In Lucy's last few days, she began to develop many new "seed" tumors all over her body, began to eat less and sleep more. It was time to let her go. The veterinarian gave her one final exam, and agreed that it was time. It was a warm and sunny afternoon. The sunlight was streaming through the exam room window and rested upon Lucy's face. Melanie held her in her arms and watched as her life slipped away.
  We buried Lucy's in one of her favorite sunny spots in the yard. I imagined as she closed her clouded eyes in this world and opened her bright clear eyes in the next, she would find Nokia lying in front of the pearly gates to "doggy heaven" trying as she always did, to block Lucy from entering. Diego appeared and led her through where she was greeted by the rest of our dearly departed; Harold, Bacchus, Xerxes, Donna, and Pickles.
  Lucy, may you find the warmth of everlasting sunlight, endless fields to run through, the camaraderie of your pack, and the comfort of knowing that you are loved and missed by the ones you left behind.
 Until we meet again.

Of love and chocolate

As today is Valentine's day, I have been contemplating the meaning of love. As mushy as this sounds like this post is starting off, bear with me for a moment, and you will see that "mushy" is not my intent. 

Talking to Yiayia and Papa on Skype 

  Of course as I was pondering the word "love", my sweet wife Melanie came to mind. As I thought of her and the possibility that I might be her soulmate, I realized that to her, the title of "soulmate" belongs to chocolate. I also realized that chocolate, and peanut-butter for that matter, were and remain to this day, Melanie's first and only true love's. I arrived at this conclusion when I tried to rationalize the meaning of the word love; ~~Gives satisfaction, always available, comforting, gives intense pleasure, brings joy, happiness, and excitement at just the sight of, and always leaves you feeling good. When you are not side by side, you are missed, craved, desired, coveted, and lusted after.

Apollo spotting Orion, so he doesn't fall

  When you are together, you are treasured, and adored. The one who loves you wants everyone to know that they have you, but they don't want to share. ~~  
  Yup, chocolate, not Mark, fit into this description perfectly. So, it begs the question; what is love anyways? If a person can feel this way about chocolate, what is the difference about how they can feel about another person? I can tell you that I would not give Melanie the ultimatum to choose between me and chocolate. I would lose that one.  
  Love is just a word, a word used to describe how much we really like something...or is it just a word. It is the connection that the word 'love' implies, that matters. It is more than a bond. You can love somebody, but not be bonded to them, or you can be bonded to someone, but not love them. I know that I am starting to sound a little philosophical, but what the point that I am trying to make is that it is hard to really pinpoint what love really is. They say animals are not capable of love, rather that they form very strong bonds. Anyone that has owned a dog which they have been very close to, will argue that point. We have seen this in our own four legged pack, when we watched our dog Lucy wail as she looked over the lifeless body of our beloved Diego when he was hit by a car and killed. Lucy mourned and grieved Diego for many months just as we did. 
  There is no arguing that Melanie and I are bonded and committed to each other, or that we love each other, but I have to say, that there is a deeper 'love' and connection that you feel for your own children. It is magical. I have learned more about love in 3 1/2 years of having children than I have in 40 years of life. Apollo and Orion are the light of my life. They are pure joy to me. Because of them, I have discovered the true meaning of love although I have yet been able to put it into words, however, I will attempt to sum up my definition as best I can. 

  Love is a connection of heart, soul, body, and mind, which allows us to give selflessly, make sacrifices, care for another more than ourself, so much so, that we feel a void inside when that person is absent. It allows us to look beyond an other's faults to see potential and offer encouragement. It is a connection so strong that it allows us to feel an other's emotion; their sorrow, fear, joy, anxiety...we share them all.  In the end, true love makes us want to be a better person because the ones we love, deserve for us to be the best person we can be.


  I am blessed with a beautiful wife that truly loves me, and two amazing little ones that fill my heart with more joy than I could have every imagined. Even during times of stress, hardship, or unwanted change, I never question the amount of love that I have in my life. I never take it for granted and I am thankful for every moment I get to share with my family. I am humbled and honored to be loved by such amazing people and can only hope that I live up to their expectations as a husband and a father. And for Melanie, I can only hope that someday, I will be ranked at the top of her list, second only to chocolate. 
  

Living in the present

  Laughter is the key ingredient to sanity; at least for my part. There is so much turmoil surrounding my present state of being, that it is through my children that I find solace. Through them, I see the simplicity of life. Joy, laughter, discovery, sadness...each expressed in its simplest, unbiased, unaffected form. They live each moment in the present with out any regard for what tomorrow may bring. Every emotion is real and heartfelt...without pretense. I envy their mindset.

 The last few weeks have been nothing short of amazing in the house of Miles. It has been a period of rapid advancements and milestones for Orion, and for Apollo, it has come to light that he is extremely protective of his baby brother.
  Apollo, has always adored Orion. Even in the moments that he feels jealous over the extra attention that Orion needs, Apollo will sneak in a little hug or a kiss on the top of Orion's head. Around the house, Apollo will interact with Orion, mimic his noises and crying, console him, and empathize with him. Out in public, Apollo takes on the role of guardian. Melanie took Orion and Apollo to a Mail boxes, etc. type of store to mail off some packages and documents. While filling out the mailing labels, she placed Orion on the floor. There was one or two other people in the store at the time, but they were not in close proximity to Melanie or the boys. As Orion started to crawl away, Apollo started to get very upset, and got in front of him to block him from moving any further. "Mama! Pick up baby brother!" he said with panic in his voice. "MAMA!! PICK UP BABY BROTHER!!"
  I assumed that Melanie was slightly exaggerating this story until I experienced it first hand. We took Orion for his six-month old "well" check-up this week. While waiting in the vaccine clinic waiting room. Melanie set Orion on the floor. I could see that Apollo was instantly concerned and kept a watchful eye on Orion. Another toddle about the age of two, spied Orion on the floor and ran over to him to play. Apollo immediately went on the defensive and placed himself in-between Orion and this strange little boy. "Mama, mama, mama! Get him! Get baby brother!" This continued even as we tried to reassure Apollo that it was 'okay'. As the toddler stranger left the area, Orion began to crawl away. Apollo was visible upset  from the previous encounter with the unknown toddler, so as his brother crawled away, Apollo got in front of him in an attempt to stop him. "MAMA! PICK UP BABY BROTHER! RIGHT NOW!". Apollo's face became flush and tears filled his eyes.

 I attribute this behavior in part, to both of Apollo's grandmothers and their over zealous, worrisome personality traits. In all actuality, Apollo has always been acutely aware of his surroundings, the people around him, and things in his environment that most others (toddlers, teens, or adults) do not see or care about. He has always, even in his infancy, been amazingly perceptive. I remember when Apollo was six months old, and I came home with a new hair cut. Not only did he do a double take, he stared and studied every inch of my head for several minutes. He reached his little hands up to touch my hair. His mom didn't even notice I cut my hair for three or four days. I admire his awareness and protectiveness. I am sure that both of these traits will serve Apollo well throughout his life.
    Orion has been in high gear in the developmental department. He has been up on his hands and knees since Christmas. Mid January, at 5 1/2 months old, I was seated on the floor with Orion, watching him puzzle over how to move his body where he wanted it to go. This is usually accomplished by pushing hard enough with his back legs, until he falls forward on his face. This moves him forward a few inches as he pulls himself back onto his hands and knees. As I watched, in a moment of discovery, Orion lifted one hand up to reach for something and moved it forward and set it down.
 He repeated this process with his second hand. I could see in his eyes that everything just fell into place for him. He just figured out how to crawl. He moved all the way across the room, turned around and came back. There was no relapse on this new skill. He took off at high speed after that, and has not looked back since. Orion is all over now and is opening cupboards, tipping over laundry baskets, going after toys, and foraging for any small morsel that he can fit in his mouth. Orion has already begun to pull himself up into a standing position. He has his eye on the prize; walking! I have noticed in the past few weeks that Melanie has been making the teens hold Orion and walk around with him. I confronted her about this, and she has admitted that she is trying to slow him down. "If he is not on the floor, he can't practice standing up. I am not ready for him to walk," she confessed.
  Orion has very quick hands and hass extremely refined hand-eye coordination. He grabs anything and does it in an instant. Orion wakes up at full speed. His eyes open, he pops up and his hand start grabbing.

  At his 6 month well check-up, Orion weighed in at 18 1/2 pounds, and 27" long. He is healthy and happy and flirted with his nurse practitioner throughout the entire exam. We learned at this visit that the "first food" thinking has moved away from rice cereal (which we had already been feeding him), to fresh avocado. We were excited to try out this new, fun, food, so we picked up a few ripe avocados on the way home, and quickly mashed a half into guacamole to feed him. Orion did not share our enthusiasm for avocado. Much to mine and Apollo's amusement, Orion gagged, grunted, growled, and tried to spit out every bite. Melanie has resorted to mixing in breast milk or squash to make avocado more palatable for my little man, and he will now tolerate it at best.

  At the end of the day, I feel extraordinarily blessed to have such healthy and happy babies. Orion's chronically happy personality is infectious to say the least, while Apollo's sense of humor and naughtiness, keeps me laughing. My favorite moment of the year thus far, was in the car driving, and watching Apollo make noises and faces at Orion. Orion was mesmerized and would burst into laughter. This would make Apollo laugh hysterically, which in turn made Melanie and I laugh. For several minutes we were all in stitches. For a brief time, nothing else mattered. Apollo and Orion shared with us a precious gift; a moment of living in the present.