What keeps me up at night

 I am sleep deprived. There are not enough hours in the day to satisfy my needs. I spread myself thin and ultimately suffer. I don't want to miss out on anything and often find myself forcing my eyes open just trying to stay awake...often for the most trivial things; blogging, listening to a particular song, or searching for information on the internet.

All are things I can do later, but is there really a later? The future is not guaranteed. In an instance, it can all be over, and it is this thought that keeps me awake. Amidst all the wrong reasons to stay awake, I do find some to be quite worthy. This night, it is the sheer power of the wind. I can feel her gentle touch caress the hairs on my legs and arms as she passes through my room, making her way from one window to the next. Outside, the leaves in the trees, chatter in her wake while palm fronds dance in the back ground. I love the wind and the energy she brings. It feels so temporary and I cant stand not indulging her while she is here.
Another guilty pleasure is the mocking bird that has spent the last five nights singing with extreme enthusiasm in hour long performances intermittently throughout the night. I spent over an hour last night listening to him sing in all his splendor at 2:00 am while trying to justify to myself all the sleep I was missing.
  Here I am again, it is 10:30 pm and I am writing instead of sleeping, eye-lids heavy, and yawning. I was up at 5:30 am today, worked ten and a half hours, and found myself surrounded by sleeping boys and my wife all before I feel like my day has even started. The glow from my lap top outlines the features of Orion's face, soft and without expression, as he breaths softly, sleeping next to me. I can't help but smile when I look at him. He is pure energy and the epitome of sweetness. I often feel as if I am solely here for Orion's amusement.

 "DADAAAAA!" Orion screams ecstatically as  he races across the room to meet me when I get home from work, and then asks me to pick him up. I scoop him up in my arms and 'SLAP!' He swings his arm around from his side and plants his palm firmly on my cheek and then will repeatedly slap my face and laugh hysterically all the while. The more I tell him to stop the more he laughs and repeats his antics. I restrain his hands and then he will bite my chest. I pry his mouth off my chest and he will start laughing again and then kick me square in the nuts. Yes pure sweetness this one. As I double over in pain, and drop to my knees while trying not to drop the little Tasmanian devil in my hands, he will put both hands on my face, lean in close and softly say "Dada, dada."As my eyes, now bulging from their sockets from the blow to the jewels, meet his, a smile stretches across his face. His eyes light up with sheer delight, he purses his lips and pulls himself in for a kiss. Get-out-of-jail-free card redeemed.
  I love this age. As I watch Orion sleeping now, I realize that he will soon outgrow the toddler stage and I will really miss it. It wont be long before he no longer sleeps face down with his legs tucked up to his chest in the fetal position. His face will begin to change and so will his body. He will no longer look like a baby. I didn't realize how much I missed Apollo at this age until Orion got here. They are growing up way to fast.
  Five years old is a fun age as well, but it presents a whole new set of challenges, especially with Apollo.  He is so stubborn. His pride already gets in his way and refuses to ask for help. When help is offered, he will cover his ears in defiance. We have to be stern and creative in dealing with him, pointing out that his behavior is inappropriate, and rude. After all, he is starting kindergarten in less than 3 months and will need to learn some coping skills. It is fascinating to see the character traits that are beginning to dominate. My way of dealing with his behavior issues; "Apollo, you are acting stubborn and irrational! You get that from your moms side."
  Apollo has really begun to develop his self awareness. It manifests itself in many ways, from confessing that he is shy to wanting to be associated or not associated with certain words or names.
"Apollo, you are my naughtiest son." I will tell him.
"No I am not. Your hurting my feelings by saying that," he refutes.
"I meant that as a compliment, so I am sorry that it hurt your feelings," I reply. "Your my cutest guy then."
"I am not cute," he replies angrily.
"Your right, you are handsome!" I tell him.
"No I am not handsome!" Apollo snaps back, "I am dangerous!"
I burst into laughter.
"Dada, if you keep laughing at me, I am not going to stay in love with you!" he says with a scowl. Of course at this point I have to laugh even more, and with a bit of mocking sarcasm.
Apollo begins to smirk with the realization of the nonsense of our conversation. "Your being mean dada!" he says as he begins to smile, "You get that from your moms side!"

My boys' mother

“To have a baby is to embrace a future that you cannot control.” Tom French

There is no greater challenge in this life than being a parent. It will fill you with fear and anxiety, push you to your limits of patience and self-control while simultaneously bestowing endless amounts of pride and satisfaction upon you. It is sacrifice and commitment...a life long commitment, of which ultimately you cannot control. No one knows this role better than a mother. I am fortunate enough to have both a great mom of my own and a wife that is a great mom to my children.  
  I take comfort in knowing that Melanie is a stay-at-home mom. We have made great sacrifices to make this happen and to keep it going until at least Orion starts kindergarten. To this end, Melanie has had to reinvent herself, to try to keep her sanity intact. I am not sure that I could do even half of what she does; I would have lost my cool along time ago. The pay off is seeing Apollo and Orion thrive. It is not that they would not have done well in a daycare environment, but to know that the boys are at home gives me great peace-of-mind. 
  As my stories are almost completely from my point of view, by default I often neglect giving Melanie credit where credit is due. In honor of Mother's Day, I am swallowing my pride a bit, and offering up some Melanie love.

  Orion is absolutely charming. He knows how to say 'please' now and uses it to his advantage. He is very serious about saying 'please' too; "Dada, I wan' bite...p'ease. Da...Da...p'ease."  I didn't teach him to say 'please', that was all Melanie, still it is a magical word and the way he says it, just melts my heart, stops me in my track's, and I find my self powerless to do anything but what this little guy is asking me to do. The worst is when I am lying in bed trying to get Orion to go to sleep. He can be thrashing around and throwing a fit because he is not ready to go to bed. As if a switch was turned on, he will stop mid-fit, sit up, look right at me and say; "Da, I wan' mul (milk), p'ease. Da, p'ease." All the while both hands are moving urgently making the sign language sign for 'milk'. Call me a softy, but like I said previously, I am powerless. Off we head down the hall to get him some milk, much to Melanie's dismay. "Da...t'ay que" (thank you-also accredited to Melanie). That is all the justification I need.

Apollo will be starting kindergarten in a few months. I cant believe how fast the time has gone by. It seems only yesterday that he was born. Apollo loves stories and will sit still and listen anytime someone will take the time to read to him. He has taken a real interest in learning how to read. He has been working on the sounds of letters, and sounding out simple words. Once again, I have to give Melanie credit for this one. Melanie is the story reader. I will do my due-diligence and fit in a few stories per week. but she really makes an effort to read chapter books, and also more than one book at a time, nearly everyday. 
  Typically, Apollo will get into our bed and read stories before climbing into his bed to sleep. Several times a week, he will awake during the night and climb back into our bed. I often let hem fall back to sleep, then I carry him back to his own bed. Once in a while, as I am putting him back into his bed, he will start to wake back up and protest. So, I will climb in bed with him for a bit until he is fast asleep. Melanie has often accused me of messing up Apollo's bed when I do this. One particular night, about 2:00 am, I was putting Apollo back into his bed, "Dada," he started, "It's too scary by myself." 
"Okay Apollo, I will get in bed with you for a while," I replied while climbing under the covers with him.
"Okay," came his half-asleep voice, eyes still shut, "but don't trash my bed this time." 
I know where that propaganda came from!
Happy Mothers Day Melanie!

Disneyland for the first time

Sixteen and one half hours in the car, 970 miles driven, 19 miles of walking (2 or 3 miles with kids on our shoulders), three and one half days, and a small fortune later, our whirlwind Disneyland trip has come to a close. We have been planning a trip to Disneyland for several months now, ever since we found out that they opened Cars Land; a portion of the park devoted to the Disney/Pixar animated Cars movies. These are Apollo's all time favorite movies. His 5th birthday was a natural time to want to take him on this new adventure.
  It has been 10 or 11 years since Melanie and I first took Ian and Aden to Disneyland, so it was now time to brave the crowds and take Apollo and Orion for their first time. Let me just say here that growing up 40 minutes from Disneyland afforded us the opportunity to go to Disneyland several times a year while we were growing up. I have always loved Disneyland, but I can tell you that I have a new appreciation and love for this place. As an adult, I see the theme park in a whole new light. I am amazed by the the flora and fauna that has been so meticulously thought out and executed, the attention to detail in every inch of the park, the incredible construction and mechanics that bring the park to life, to the shows and performers. As a father, I am beside myself watching the magic and bewilderment in my sons eyes as they experience the magic of Disneyland for the first time.

  Although we ran out of time to do all the things that we wanted to do, I can not be more pleased with how much fun we had. We arrived at our hotel at 9:30 pm on Friday night, just in time to see the Disney fireworks as we were checking into our room. It took some time to get the boys to unwind and go to sleep. 7 am Saturday morning, Apollo awakes and hops out of bed. He walks across the room and pulls back the curtains to look for the sun. "It's morning time! Let's go to Radiator Springs!" He exclaimed jumping up and down. We drug Melanie and Orion out of bed, got dressed and by 9am, we were walking through the gates of California Adventure.

 Yes, in Apollo's mind, we were going to Radiator Springs from the Cars movie. That was the whole purpose of the trip. He didn't even know what Disneyland was until a week before we left, and honestly, he wasn't interested in going there until we told him that Tinker Bell lived in Disneyland. And yes, he has a crush on Tinker Bell.

I am so amused by Apollo and what he chooses to be afraid of. Upon entering Cars Land, we saw a life size "Mater" tow truck that talked and moved. Apollo had no problem going up to him, standing next to him and having his picture taken. It was the same thing when he saw Lighting McQueen.  Both wished Apollo a happy birthday by the way. But when it came to Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Pluto, or Goofy, he wanted nothing to do with them and would go out of his way to make sure we avoided them. We ended up right in the path of Pinocchio at one point and could not avoid him. Apollo took off running and hid behind a concession display, and circled around it to keep it in between him and Pinocchio. Other four and five-year-olds were hugging and 'high-five'ing him, but not my kid.
 Then came the roller coasters! Apollo has zero fear of roller coasters. The bigger and the faster, the better. It never crossed his mind to be afraid... not even a little bit. At 44 inches tall, Apollo can ride most of the rides at Disney and California Adventure, with a few exceptions. In California Adventures, there is a roller coaster called California Screaming. It is fast and wild. When we came across it, Apollo watched a few cars "launch", and then watched them go all the way around the track, and then go completely upside down in a loop. "I want to go on that ride! Lets go, lets go LETS GO!" He squealed with delight. The reference I made to "launch" is very accurate. The cars are launched with a catapult system reminiscent of an aircraft carrier. Apollo thought that looked fun; Zero to sixty in half a second.
 

We raced over to the line to California Screaming, where I spotted the height marker. It was set to 48 inches. I thought I was disappointed, but when I showed it to Apollo and told him he had to be that tall to ride, he hurried over to it, and as he took his last step towards the sign and realized that he was too short, the spring in his step disappeared, his head dropped and the excitement ran away from his face. Few things are harder for me to swallow than to see that look of disappointment on my sons face.
  All was not lost though. We did ride the Matterhorn, Grizzly River Run white water rapids, Soaring over California (3 times of course), and Radiator Springs Racers. All of which were very exciting for Apollo.


While we road the big kid rides, Melanie took Orion on some of the little kid rides. At one point she terrified Orion by taking him into see "Its Tough to be a Bug" in 3D, in which Orion was pressed tightly against his mom and quivering with fright in certain parts. I guess giant 3D spiders are pretty scary for a 21-month-old. Poor kid is probably scarred for life.
  I would have to say that Orion's favorite rides were "Ariel's Undersea Adventure" and "Its a small World."  Orion was completely fascinated with the animated characters. Orion has the adrenalin gene in him as well and liked the wilder kids rides, too. He took one 40-minute nap all day, and both the boys were very charming the entire time, even the second day that we spent in the parks, Apollo and Orion were exceptionally well behaved.

The highlight for me would have to be the "World of Color" water and light show. I was so impressed by the mechanics of, and technicality of the show. Without going into detail, I will say that it is simply amazing.
  We capped our trip off by spending Sunday evening (in the house I grew up in) with my parents, sister Debbie, nieces Alex and Vanessa, my Uncle Tasso, and a few friends. We had dinner and birthday cake, a short visit, a restless night sleep, and then it was time to head home.
 
  I could write for days just to share story after story of my experiences with Apollo, Orion, and Melanie at Disneyland. I think overall, as amusing and fun (for Melanie and I at least) the stories would be, I think it would be a disservice to the underlying and most important experience of all; spending quality time with my family. There is nothing like a few short days together to bring you closer as a family. Although the boys, especially Orion, may not remember a whole lot about this family adventure, they are sure to feel the affects of it for months to come, and an unseen bond will be strengthened for a lifetime.