I am powerless to her. She calls to me...beckons. Her voice is soft and soothing. She smells divine; her fragrance ever changing. Her skin glows, reflecting every color in the rainbow. She is mysterious, powerful, every changing yet unbending in her resolve. When I am without her, I long to be with her. When I am with her, I yield to her will. I am part of her, and she is part of me.
It is this earth, my home. She is my escape. I feel so fortunate that we live in such a beautiful place and can readily enjoy all that she has to offer. I am constantly in awe of her. When I am out riding my road bike, jogging, hiking, or on my mountain bike, I am just blown away by all the splendor and beauty that surrounds me, and it is all right outside my door. Spring time is absolutely incredible here. The wisteria are in full bloom and the smell that permeates the air is intoxicating. As I run or ride my bike, I try to identify all the different flowers that I can smell, often picking up on their scent without ever seeing where the smell is coming from. There are of course, flowers blooming everywhere; both wild and domestic. I am a very visual and sensory type of person so this time of year, spring-time, is borderline sensory overload for me.
I have come to ponder what makes us love or fall in love with people, places, things. I watch Apollo and Orion. I see some things that are hard wired into them, others learned, or nurtured. Apollo has always had an intense love for all things living. He sees no difference in the life of a snail than that of his pet chickens. He wont throw a leaf into the fire if it still has green on it as he is not convinced that it is completely dead. He will catch flying insects in the house and take them outside and let them go.
Orion loves his "things". He values his toys, especially flying toys, and often needs to take an entire fleet with him to bed. He values his relationship with people, I think more than any of our other boys. He loves the girls and is a huge flirt. He is our little helper and wants to be involved in everything that we do; cooking, cleaning, working in the yard, on vehicles, etc...he just wants to be apart. My favorite moments are when he says, "Dada, I want to hold you," his arms reaching up to me. When I scoop him up into my arms, he will tell me to go sit on the couch with him, and then will announce to his brother, "Apollo, I need some alone time with my dad." Few things are more rewarding.
Apollo is nearly 7-years-old now. He has his best friend; Xavier, his love interest; Desea, and his supporting cast of his brother and various other kids that frequent our home. It is funny watching the interactions between the kids. It gives me insight into what they will all be like as young adults. It is funny to see that even at 7, they really aren't that much different than 17-year-old's. The best friend and the girlfriend both competing for time, attention and status.
"I've known Apollo since I was 5!" Xavier starts.
"Well I've actually known him longer because I knew him when I was 4!" Desea snaps back.
"No you haven't"
"Yes I have!"
"I know him better than you because he is my best friend!"
"I know him better because we are getting married!"
Apollo's allegiance swings from one friend to the other; sometimes taking sides of the best friend, other times taking the side of the girlfriend. It is somewhat entertaining to me watching them all get fired up over this topic and watching Apollo try to deal with and balance out the friendships. Someone always ends up getting upset or their feelings hurt, but in the end, they are all playing together. Who knew that this behavior starts at such a young age?
Orion does not have the love triangle problems yet, but rather sees everyone as his best friend while he is playing with them. He has mastered the art of manipulation however, and often plays his mom and I off of each other, knowing if one says "no", the other might say "yes". Of course if we both say "no" the last one to say it, breaks his little heart. I try to make Melanie out to be the bad guy when I can. "Mama is mean to me!" tears, crying, the whole works. I get to scoop him up and console him, and get to be the hero...never mind that I told him "no" first!
Once in a while, Orion pulls it off. He has learned that if one of us tells him "no", as long as he doesn't tell the other parent what the first parent said, he might get his way.
One evening, Orion was in the bath with Melanie, and climbed out before her. He came into my room with a towel and his pajamas, and told me he was ready for bed. I dried him off and got him dressed.
"Dada, can I have some chocolate milk," he asked very sweetly. I did hear him ask his mom while they were in the bath, and I assumed that she told him "no".
"What did mama say?" I asked.
"She said yes."
"Are you sure?"
"She said yes to chocolate milk!"
"You know we don't do chocolate milk at bed time, Orion."
"Yes we do!" tears start forming, "But I'm hungry and mama said yes!"
We did have a big day after all, and Orion did not eat much dinner so I decided that I would indulge him.
"Okay," I said, and climbed out of bed, "I will get you some chocolate milk."
I returned a few minutes later with a sippy-cup of chocolate milk, and handed it to a very happy little boy. I climbed in bed with him and grabbed my lap top. As he lay there next to me contently drinking his milk, Melanie got out of the bath and entered the room.
"Orion! I told him he couldn't have any chocolate milk. It's too late!" Melanie snapped, looking at me knowing full well that I knew better.
Of course I acted surprised and trying to look as serious as I am capable of looking, began to scold him.
"Orion! why did you lie to me!" I said with my best scowl on my face (this was mostly for Melanie's benefit), "You told me that mama said "yes"! Why would you lie to me!"
His big brown eyes were locked on mine as he continued drinking from his red sippy-cup, now half full, his head snugly laid back in the pillow. He did not even show an ounce of concern for what I just said, nor did he show any remorse.
Slowly, he pulled the sippy-cup from his lips and with a stone cold, straight face said,
"It's opposite day."
