Jack-Jack

 "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" How can just two small words carry so much weight. The image of Apollo holding his lifeless pet bird in his hand, the look of sorrow, disbelief, and utter shock on his face, while he muttered those two words, will be for ever ingrained on my heart.
"I'm sorry Apollo, she's gone and I cant bring her back," is all that I could manage to say as I embraced him.

Jack-Jack came to us a couple years ago as an owner surrender, like most of our birds. I am not sure why people think that since we have a bunch of birds already, that we want more, when the novelty has worn off for them. Needless to say, against my wishes, we took "Jack" (misidentified as a male), into our home and renamed her Jack-Jack since it sounded a bit more feminine.
  Apollo went straight to work and made Jack-Jack part of the flock. She became very sweet and responsive to both boys, but pretty quickly she bonded with Apollo, even though we had a male cockatiel named Sonya (another gender mis-identification). Sonya never identified as a bird and never met another cockatiel until Jack-Jack and so he was not interested in Jack-Jack in the slightest.

 The two birds tolerated each-other but both pined for Apollo's attention. A third cockatiel came into the mix not much later. Lovey was her name but we called her Jill-Jill to complement Jack-Jack. Apollo and his birds are inseparable. He enjoys their company immensely and takes them out in the mornings before school, and then as soon as he gets home from school, and they spend much of the day riding around on his shoulders or sharing a meal with him.
  Sonya passed of age related bird issues, Jill-Jill is crippled, but Jack-Jack seemed to be young and healthy. A few months ago, Apollo noticed that Jack-Jack was ill. We didn't think that bird would last through the day as bad as she was. Melanie began treatment immediately and nursed that bird back to health. Its been a roller-coaster with her since; she improves markedly, then declines, Melanie starts treatments again, and Jack-Jack perks back up. We thought we would lose her on a couple occasions but she seemed to be back to full health for the last few weeks with Apollo watching her for any signs of illness. Unfortunately, tragedy never offers a warning and Jack-Jack ate her last breakfast with the boys this morning.
  As a parent, you try to help your child navigate through their emotions. You teach them to face them and deal with them. Anger, frustration, insecurity, envy...all present their own set of challenges but grief is the big one, the hardest of the group. Grief is the one emotion that cuts you deeply as a parent as you watch your child experience it. I would do anything to take on my child's pain so he never has to feel that way. The sorrow, the guilt...the loss. It's all I can do to maintain my composure as I watch him sit down for a meal, look to the cage expecting to see his bird or hear her call to join him, and then watching the sorrow fill his eyes, as his appetite leaves him.
  Jack-Jack was happiest when she was on Apollo. She would snuggle up to his cheek or in the crook of his neck. Sit with him while he read. Eat off his plate at meal time. Fly to his shoulder if he tried to walk away. More than anyone I know, Apollo is fascinated by birds. He knows their moods, their body language, and loves their personalities. Everyday, they give him something to laugh about or ponder. He has their stretching pattern memorized. We call it birdy-yoga and he stretches along with them, or would initiate it and laugh when the followed his lead. It is a marvel to see him with his birds and any wild life for that mater. He has so much patience and compassion for animals.

  Dealing with loss is part of owning pets. It is inevitable. This is not our first rodeo, and we deal with some sort of loss every year. Some are just harder to accept than others. Especially when they go suddenly or when they are young. We have mitigated them all rather well but this one has hit Apollo pretty hard. We comfort him in the knowledge that Jack-Jack had the best life she could have ever hoped for, that he made that life for her, that she loved him and could tell that he loved her. The tears are not wasted on her loss. She was his friend and she will be greatly missed.

Fly free Jack-Jack

Orion turns Seven

He knows every way to manipulate me. He knows how to pull on my heartstrings more than anyone else in the house. He is a fierce negotiator. He is easy going, social, happy, kind, and loves to laugh. He gives the best hugs. He genuinely misses me when I am gone for the day and greets me by yelling "DADA!" while running to me and throwing his arms around me when I walk through the door.

Orion is the baby of the family; our last born.  He is literally the icing on our family cake and we could not have asked for a better soul to finish off our quartet of boys. 

At seven, Orion is entering the 2nd grade. He will become an uncle in a couple months. He loves riding bikes, swimming, soccer, collecting rocks, loves surprises and gifts. He speaks Spanish beautifully and does well in math. He is creative and artistic and likes to draw and color. Orion is a bundle of energy and enjoys being tickled, wrestling, and relishes being chased around the house. 

Orion is the easiest to bribe out of our four boys. By this I mean, you can negotiate with him and if he perceives the deal to be favorable, he will approach a complete stranger and ask him/her for something in anticipation of earning his prize.
With all the boys, from a very young age, we have encouraged them to go ask for a napkin in a restaurant or ask for a refile of water or some other simple task designed as an exercise in social norms. Orion outperformed all his brothers in this area. He has no qualms about standing in line at a store and purchasing a book, toy, candy, or ice cream all on his own. He can be slightly on the shy side but will easily engage others or readily respond to others when approached.  He understands the value in social reciprocity. 

                                                             Orion enjoys hearing stories about and looking at pictures of his early years. He laughs at his antics, often mistakes pictures of Apollo as a toddler for himself, and watches old video clips of himself with great interest. He is curious about where he was and what he was doing and who he was with. 

"How old am I in this picture dada?" he asked one day. 

"You were two and a half," He considers my answer and studies the picture intently. "Do you remember this?" I inquire.

"Nope," he begins, searching his memory, "I feel like I was born at three, because I don't remember anything until I was almost four."

Orion does not hold grudges. He easily forgives and loves freely. He is excepting and inclusive. He has charm and charisma. He has a heart of gold. I consider myself lucky to be his father.

 To an amazing son; you bring endless amounts of joy and fun to my life. You keep me young. You keep my honest. You teach me patience and show my how to love unconditionally. I am thankful beyond measure to call you my son.  Happy seventh birthday!! ~  I Love you!

Fiji: Land and Sea

Apollo and Orion travel well. At ten and six, it is becoming easier to travel with them and they are old enough now that we don't have to watch their every move. At the same time, this means that they are getting closer to being able to keep up with Melanie and I in many of the activities that we want to do. Hiking is an easy one for them. It has been a couple years since I have had to do half of every hike with Orion on my shoulders. He still asks to be on my shoulders occasionally, but when I counter by trying to climb on his shoulders, he will quickly relent. 

Both boys are becoming great swimmers now, which means that they can snorkel and swim in the ocean with us.
Since returning from Fiji, the boys have started a Junior Masters Swim team at our club. Based on their progress in such a short time, by our next tropical vacation, they will be able to swim circles around me.

~~~~~

  Melanie and I are often on the opposite ends of the spectrum on what we like and dislike. There are certain things, however, that we can come together on and can't get enough of. Fiji embodies much of what we have a mutual love for and a fascination with. We both love tropical reefs. Not just the fish, but the corals, soft corals and the invertebrates. The Fijian reefs, as a whole, can be overwhelming. There are so many fish, and corals, that your eyes are constantly moving from one thing to the next. When you slow down and start to focus in on the smaller areas, that's when you will discover whole new worlds.

 The first time Melanie and I were able to explore a reef together in Fiji, it didn't take long before she popped her head up, pulled her snorkel from her mouth, and called to me, "You have to follow me over this spot! I am smiling so much that my face is starting to hurt!"

  That's what it's all about for me. It is truly amazing and fascinating. So much life and beauty. Every crack and crevasse is teaming with life.

 The more you look, the more you find. If it wasn't for the Darth Vader style of breathing through a snorkel, you would think we were watching our very first firework show, each time we got in the water, with all the ooo's and aah's and gasps of excitement.

Apollo and Orion can use a mask and snorkel pretty well. Apollo has become quite proficient at it. We have spent a lot of time in the pool practicing and getting accustomed to using a mask and snorkel. The ocean, however, can be intimidating, even to a more seasoned swimmer. Orion was fine with only a few short moments in the water with his mask on and opted for the safety of a raft. I think the vastness of the ocean and the size of the fish and the possibility of seeing a shark, kept him out of the water more than in the water. "Orion, did you see any fish?" I asked after our first stop. "Millions! I saw millions!" came his reply.

Apollo, on the other hand, spent quite a bit of time in the water. even in some of the deeper and rougher spots.

After a few excursions over the reefs with Melanie or myself, he opted to take off his fins, and stay near the boat with his mask and snorkel on, feeding the fish with cookie crumbs to lure them to him.

 There is something to be said about warm water and a tropical climate. It would be nearly impossible for us to get bored of the weather and the warm waters in Fiji. 

Every time you get in the water with a mask, you see and experience something new and different. Even if you revisit the same spot, there is always something new to see that you either missed the first time around, or it just moved in between visits. 

The waters off the coast of Northern California offer their own beauty and abundance of life, but honestly, the mind numbing, frigid waters have no draw or appeal to me. Even though we visit the coast where we live, often, I am happy to stay out of the water and wait until my next tropical vacation to snorkel.

We also share a love of plants, bugs, and animals. The jungles of the interior or Viti Levu are stunning. There is something growing on almost every inch of dirt.

 Fruits and vegetables grow effortlessly and wild. Not only are there bananas and coconuts growing everywhere, we found papaya, breadfruit, mango trees, coffee plants, peppers, and several fruits that we could not readily identify. 

Behind every leaf, there were bugs or spiders. Butterflies were almost as abundant as the mosquito's. And the air was rich with the scent of flowers, plants, moss, and earth.

We filled our vacation with adventure. We did about as much as a family could expect to do in such a short time. It's never easy to go home and settle back into the daily grind after experiencing so much...or so little, depending on your perspective.

 If there is one thing that I hope Apollo and Orion will take away from this trip it is this: Life is an adventure that is meant to be lived.  Days come and go... then weeks... then years. Before you know it, you are left with the regret of all the things you could have done.  

I am trying to keep my list from growing any longer. ~~~

   

Fiji: Adventures

Every adventure spawns a thousand stories. Every story is unique to the perspective of the individual. I see things much differently through the eyes of a father and decades of life experience behind me than I did when I was a child. There is so much beauty in the world. Even in the most unexpected places, if you look for it.




As this was my second trip to Fiji, I knew what to expect. In many ways, my expectations were greatly exceeded. We went to Fiji without much of an agenda. We had things that we wanted to do, but most of our trip was without a schedule. This worked out very well for us. Some of the best memories for me were spurred by moments of spontaneity. I am not sure that I can pinpoint one specific moment from Fiji as my favorite. I could probably pick a favorite for each day, but even that would be a daunting task to narrow it down to just one moment.


 I can list all the things that I loved; the humidity, warmth, flora and fauna, the fruit, the ocean, reefs, fish, anemones...I could go on for hours and really break it down to types of flowers, birds, fish, locations. You get the idea.

For Apollo and Orion, however, they both have their favorite moments from the trip.

Apollo loved the boat. Everything about it: Being out on the water, snorkeling, the fish, feeding the fish, and seeing the different islands and boats.

He liked that all of us were packed on the boat together because that gave him an opportunity to spend time with everyone. Apollo likes being surrounded by people that he knows, and feels comfortable with. It is the one thing that he will gleam to if all the plans fall apart. He always points out that his favorite thing is that we were altogether.

Orion loved the plane. To be more specific, he loved flying the plane. When your brother is a pilot, you get those little extra perks. We were fortunate enough that my brother was able to get us on one of his flights to a private island. On a float plane no less. The boys were each able to take a turn sitting in the co-pilot seat. 

It was a bit of luck that Melanie, Apollo, Orion, Spyros and myself, were able to get on a flight with Greg. There was just enough room for us, and when we arrived on the amazing private little island, we had enough time to take a quick tour, have a small snack, and then board the plane to fly back. On a side note, a month would be too short of a visit to to a little island like the one we visited. 

  The plane we were on is a Twin Otter on floats, a very nice Twin Otter I might add. I have been on dozens of Otters back in my skydiving days, and this was by far the nicest and most modern. 

  Next to handling the controls, Orion was thrilled that the plane landed and took off on the water. We were all excited and impressed by this. Melanie and I also were able to do this with Greg in Greece on the island of Corfu, a year before Apollo was born. Seeing the boys reaction to taking off and landing on the water was awesome. Orion was as exited as our dog Remi gets right after he has a bath.

The boys are old enough that they take most things in stride. They love the adventures especially once they are in the midst of them. I think at this age though, they don't realize that many of the things that we do are not necessarily the norm.

We try to explain to them that most people don't have huge bonfires on the beach in Fiji, or have private beaches to themselves to watch the sunset and play in the water at, get to fly a seaplane, but I'm not sure that they have a grasp on how special those things were. They loved every minute of those moments and adventures and they continue to talk about them, but I think that they assume that's what vacations are all going to be like.





The funny thing about that, is that when Greg & Kim come to visit, we usually have pretty epic adventures here too. Our camping trips are always an event unto themselves, so maybe we are setting a precedence.

 I have put pictures in this post that Apollo and Orion selected as some of their favorite memories from Fiji. They picked way too many to post at one time so we had to whittle them down to just these few.

To go with the pictures (and in addition to the plane and the boat), here is a list of their favorite memories: Playing in the tide pools. Giant Chess at the Marriott resort. Hiking to a remote village in the shadow of the sleeping giant and visiting a kindergarten class. Hiking in the jungle with our whole group (10 of us). Drinking fresh young coconuts. Fijian bananas. Pineapple.

 Melanie and I could enjoy ourselves anywhere. We could have spent all day, every day in Fiji in the water snorkeling and exploring the reefs. We could have spent days and nights exploring the jungles and not been bored. We would have been happy foraging for fruit to eat as our only food every day. We really dont need much to be happy. But to spend time with three of our four boys, plus Kim, Greg, Spyros, and Zosi, in Fiji, just letting the chips fall were they may, made this vacation extra memorable for us while finding the adventures in the unexpected.

Fiji: The Cousins

"I'm bored!" Orion laments pensively, just one day after returning home. "Yeah, me too," Apollo agrees, "Why did we have to leave Fiji anyways? We're out of school for the summer." 

"Because I had to go back to work," I said in defense.

"You could have left us at Uncle Gooch's for the summer and then came back and picked us up before school started again," Apollo argued.

"As nice as that sounds, it's not practical. We have pets that need us to take care of them. Plus, your mom and I have jobs we had to get back to." 

Orion was listening and processing our conversation. With a perplexed look on his face, he turns to me and asks, "Don't they have golf in Fiji." ~~~ If I relied on golf to make a living, we'd be homeless! I have Melanie to thank for instilling the belief in Apollo and Orion that my job is golfing. 

My brothers first born, Spyros, refers to Apollo and Orion as "the cousins" or "my cousins" when he is speaking of them. I'm not sure why I find it so endearing but I do. "Uncle Mark, can my cousins come swimming with me?" he would ask. The three boys were inseparable. 

 When Apollo and Orion met Spyros for the first time at only a few months old, they kept asking, "How long until he is old enough to play with us?" Now, four years later, they always ask "When can we see Spyros and Zosi again?"               I love that the age difference between all of them has not deterred them from enjoying one another.  They all find each other hysterically funny. Apollo has a knack for  picking up on and mimicking everyone's quirks, isms, and idiosyncrasies. While annoying to adults (albeit an invaluable skill set for a comedian if he should chose that career path), his peers seem to like it.  Apollo quickly keys in to what the kids he is around will find funny...which in this case translates into a 10-year-old acting like a four-year-old. (Insert eye roll here. Yeah, we are working on when this "talent" is appropriate and when it is flat out annoying).

 I will take this over Apollo thinking he is way too cool to hang out with someone so much younger than him. His charm worked for Spyros, and what is most important to me is that there was a lot of laughter from the three boys. It is that laughter and those kind of memories that form a life long bond. However, if I have to hear the term "poop-stank" one more time, I will pull my hair out...if I had any left.

 Zosi is too young to interact with the boys for a long period of time and mostly uninterested anyway, but she does chose to play with them for short periods of time. Zosi is the crème de la crème of the group. She may not be a morning person, but once she gets going, she is the sweetest and most easy going little girl. My favorite memory of her from this trip was at the Marriott resort. Zosi found some ants on a couple steps and plopped down to play with them. There were some black ones and some red ones, all very small. Zosi suddenly calls out, "OW, OW, OW!" and begins to cry. Being the closest adult, I ran to her and as I am scooping her up. I notice a couple small red ants on her that she is urgently trying to get off. I start brushing them off of her skin and in the sweetest, softest and most somber voice, she says through the tears, "The red ones bite me!" 

                      ~~~~~~~

By themselves, Apollo and Orion often will tell me that they are bored. This is a Hail-Mary pass on the off chance that I might allow them some screen time.
 Throw in some friends or cousins, and they can make a afternoon of adventures out of a simple cardboard box. Add an ocean of warm water, sandy beaches with rocks and shells, and they wont complain all day unless they are thirsty or starving.

While sitting on the beach, snorkeling, and swimming would be all that was needed to keep us and the boys happy, having Spyros and Zosi to adventure with was an added bonus for Apollo and Orion. It is interesting to note that the boys have a completely different set of interactions and memories with their cousins than what we saw and heard. We have been listening to stories about them since we left. I have to keep asking the boys, "When did that happen?"

            ~~~~~~~


Vacations can be hard and a lot of work, especially with kids. So often we get back from a vacation and we feel the need to go on a vacation to recover from our vacation. Fiji was nothing like that for us. There were moments of the kids not sticking with the script, or too many bodies to try to get from point A to point B, but in the end, we wanted more; More time in the water, more time in the jungle, more time exploring, more time with my brother and his family, and for the boys more time with the cousins. It's always best to leave the table a little hungry they say. 

On our last day in Fiji, the boys were grilling me about why we had to leave. As arguing my point would have been futile, I simply told them that "It's time to go home."
"We are home," Apollo stated.
"Wait," Orion asked completely caught by surprise, "are we moving here?"
"Well," Apollo explained, "dada always tells us that whenever you are together with your family, no matter where you are, you are home. So, we are home and that means we don't have to leave"