Apollo turns 11

He may not have received his Hogwarts letter, but he is plenty magical when it comes animals. His patience and understanding of them, draws animals to him. He is endlessly entertained by creatures and never tires of them or their antics. He is Newt Skamander, Radagast the Brown, or Saint Francis; take your pick. His favorite part of any trip to anywhere in the world, will undoubtedly be some interaction with an animal. The world can use more wizards like him.
  Apollo turns eleven today and as I reflect on his life this far, I feel an immense amount of satisfaction and pride. As his father, I see his potential. I know what he is capable of becoming. I also know his weaknesses and what his struggles are. As with any parent, I want the best for this son of mine and want him to be successful and happy when he becomes a man.

  At 11, Apollo stands about 5' tall. He lingers in the 90th percentile for height for his age. He loves tennis, cycling, and enjoys swimming. He is an avid reader and always has a book in his hands. Currently, he is reading the Harry Potter series.
 Apollo has a quick wit, great sense of humor, and an over developed sense of sarcasm. One of my greatest pleasures in life is when Apollo decides to wake his mom up in the morning before she wants to be up. With a very exaggerated tone of bliss and contempt in his made up, high pitched voice, he will pet her head and her arm while saying things like, "Oooooh! What happened? Did the morning come too soon? Are you sleepy? Time to get uuuup!" And when Melanie protests, it just adds fuel to the fire, "Ooooooooh! Did you get angry? Get up mama! Time to get up?"

  I can honestly say that Apollo is a happy kid. I see it on his face when I pick him up from school. I see it in his eyes, and hear it in his voice. And then there is that smile. Not the cheesy smile that he uses whenever we try to take a picture of him, but the genuine smile that can light up the most dismal room. 
 Eleven is gateway age. The journey through puberty, testosterone, and attitude is at our doorstep and I am nervous about navigating the next phase of his life. But for now, I am content with this gregarious animal loving boy of mine.



Happiest of Birthdays Apollo!!!

~I love you~

51

If I'm being honest, he's been there my entire life; hiding in the shadows...in the corners...in my dreams. In my youth, he had no form beyond the darkness  and the random sounds in the night. I learned to ignore him in my post-pubescent, testosterone driven, invincibility years, but I know he was still there lurking in the shadows. While I ignored him, I feared him most in those years, feeding him all the energy that he needed to start to take shape. I was in my early 20's when I first saw him clearly. He saw fit to show me that I was indeed mortal, reaching his long tendril like hands around my chest and squeezing the very air from my lungs, watching the terror in my eyes as the world faded to black.
 At some point I made my peace with him and began to fear him less as the years passed. Still, he was there. Always watching, always following close behind. I often saw him out of the corner of my eye, following me out of the plane in my skydiving years. I think he loved skydiving as much as I did. I always imagined him smiling as the ground rushed up to meet us.
Now, I see him when I look over my shoulder checking for cars in the road, when i'm on my bike. He's on a bike of his own, black robes billowing in the wind behind him, peddling hard to keep up. I admittedly will peddle harder at times to make sure he doesn't get any closer. He's always there with the first glance but gone when I look again, yet I know he is still there; following, waiting, biding his time.
  Macabre as it may sound to speak of death in such a manner, I don't see his presence as a dark omen. Just a simple reminder of my mortality and how short and precious and delicate this life is. I've made it more than half a century on this earth and I hope to find several more decades before my time is up. While I may not fear death himself, I am not ready to submit to his final voyage either. I want to continue to walk my young boys into adulthood, watch their successes, help them get up after their failures, watch them become men and start families of their own. I want to explore more of this world and see as much of her beauty as I can and hopefully do it with Melanie by my side, while I still have the strength within my bones to do so.
  My mantra in my youth was once, "You only live once!" In my older years, it has changed to, "You only die once, but you live every day."
 I am grateful for another year. Too many friends have not been so lucky to make it this far. Every year, a couple more friends take that final journey. Some never saw it coming, others knew and fought the good fight to the end, and then there are those who succumbed to a period of immense sorrow and loneliness and chose to end their suffering on their own. For some, their time ended in throws of doing what they loved...I count them as the fortunate ones. For all of them, I grieve and because of them I choose to live everyday. While time and money may limit my ability to travel and explore the world on a daily basis, I still look for and find something every day that reminds me how beautiful this life is.  God willing, I will never feel the touch of the grim reapers cold grip upon my heart or ravaging tendrils eating my body from the inside, or stealing my memories and my dignity over time. I hope to see him following behind for many years. When alas, plagued by old age, my body says, "enough is enough." I will then greet my old friend Mr Reaper and let him take me to a tropical paradise where I will patiently await the ones left behind to live their own long and fulfilling lives.