In the Begining....

I want to dedicate these random mutterings to my family and friends. I will be posting photos, stories and the occasional video of my favorite subject; my son Apollo. Yes, many of these photos may be on my facebook already, but, some of the people that I want to share this with, do not belong to nor will they join any type of social networking. They do, however, use the internet and my be more willing to follow this blog.
....I am almost 42 and have spent most of my life wandering "aimlessly" for lack of a better description. Few things have I done in my life that I am more proud of than choosing to have a baby. I can tell you that I had never been settled enough, stable enough nor ready enough to have a child of my own. In my youth, I always thought of myself as a future father. As I reached my mid twenties, I became more selfish with my time and freedom and began to doubt that I would ever be a father.
I began dating my wife Melanie in February of 2002. She has two sons; Ian who was 8 at the time and Aden who was 6. They were fun boys to be a step father to. As they approched their teenage years and became less sweet, I began to long for they days when they would go off to college and Melanie and I would run off to the far reaches of the globe.
I had often expressed to my beloved wife, that I had magical powers. "If you ever want to see me disappear, just get pregnant!" I would proclaim...with a smirk of course. Well, guess who got pregnant? Melanie was distraught as she cornered me to tell me the news, probably half expecting me to vaporize on the spot..."I have something to tell you and I dont know how you will take it..." Thougths raced through my head of what she could be so upset about. Did she wreck the car? was she unfaithful? how many overdraft fees could she have gotten? Oh no! Maybe she adopted another parrot!(we will get into the parrots another time) Tears filled her eyes, " I am pregnant..." At this point all I could think to say was; "Oh Thank god! I thought you were going to tell me you brought home another parrot."
We talked at length about this curve ball that life had thrown us. Mel conveyed to me that although she was pregnant, (confirmed by 4 different tests) she thought she might be miscarrying. It turns out she was right. This single event really changed my feelings about having a little one of my own. Mel will tell you that I begged her to have a baby after that. Truth is, we both thought it would be "cool" although she would have been content not to have another one. We decided to try for six months and if nothing happened, it wasnt ment to be. Well, it took little more than two...My life has changed forever.