What not to say.

at Sonoma County Wildlife Rescue  

Summer time...Long days, warm weather, movies in the park, concerts in the park, farmers markets, festivals, camping...by far my favorite time of year. It seems that we are going non-stop once summer hits. With Melanie 33 weeks pregnant, we probably wont be doing a lot of camping until after the baby comes, but we may have to slip in at least one more trip.
  Apollo has been unbelievably charming lately. He talks non-stop. Even walking across the room involves a verbal play by play as if he was a sports caster calling a football game over the radio. Apollo's comprehension level is increasing dramatically now, and you can actually hold a real conversation with him. When asked a question, he will think about his answer before responding. His sense of humor is really starting to shine through as well. Certain words and phrases strike him as funny and he will use them at the right moment, and then burst into laughter.
  One of my favorite things about Apollo, is his ability to do impersonations. This requires a keen attention to details of mannerisms, expression, facial movements, and gestures. He does excellent impersonations of me laughing and chewing gum, many variations of his mom scolding both himself and the teens, and even Ian and Aden acting appalled that they are asked to do anything.

  He even impersonates the boys friend Alex laughing.  Along with impersonations, Apollo is repeating everything he hears, and I mean everything. One of his favorite expressions is "Ah crap!" (thanks Mel). Some of our other favorites are, "What ever you say", "Stop it every guys!" (when trying to curb an argument), "Hush up!", "Do you need a time out? I'm gonna put you in a time out!", "You get your butt over here!", "Remi stemi!" (Calling his dog), "I'm not wasting water! I'm doing the dishes!", "Momma's gonna get really mad", and my favorite of the week; "Brother, you may look like my mother, but your not!" Okay, he had a little help with that one, but it is really cute coming out of his mouth. The problem is that he sees himself at a higher status than Ian and Aden and loves to boss them around, but when Ian and Aden try to tell Apollo what to do, Apollo gets upset, and will tell them to "Hush up! you can't say that to Apollo!"    Of course I do what any parent would do in this situation; back up the three year old. "That's right Apollo, you tell brothers!".
  With all this repeating of words, having teens in the home, friends of teens, and a crabby pregnant lady in the house, you quickly learn all the things that you should not say in front of your toddler. It becomes really interesting when you are in public, at church, or around other adults, and your toddler starts trying out some of his new found words and phrases. The looks you get from complete strangers is priceless!
  This past week, on a particularly hot (91 degree) day, Melanie suggested (demanded) that I take her and Apollo out to eat somewhere with air conditioning and with out teens (as they had worn her down that day)

Getting sprayed in a water gun fight

We found ourselves at Applebee's. Once seated, Apollo spurts out "Buuuuuuutttt!" and bursts into laughter. My eyes must have widened enough that Melanie quickly started in with, "Oh yeah, guess what Alex taught Apollo to say? Apollo thinks it's hysterical." Here's the thing, I will start laughing when I hear this despite all my efforts, which only reinforces this behavior. I think I was mostly laughing out of being uncomfortable that everyone around us could hear...clearly! Diversion, is your only defense in these situations. You quickly bring up a topic or produce an object that you know will spark his interest long enough to get his mind off of the behavior you are trying to change. This was met with only marginal success. Through out our dinner, he must have used the word 'butt' a dozen times, annunciating , using the word in inappropriate sentences, and then bursting into laughter.
  As if this was not bad enough. Apollo started in when we were leaving, this time loud enough for everyone with in 3 or 4 tables could hear what he was saying. Melanie decided that she would stay behind as we exited the store. To paint the picture, Apollo was wearing his sunglasses, arms crossed walking in front of me. "I LIKE BUTT!" "LET'S GO GET SOME BUTT!" "WE LOVE BUTT'S!" "LET'S GO FIND SOME BUTT'S DADA!" You could have heard a pin drop by the time we reached the door...everyone was turned around looking at us. Some laughing, some horrified. I turned to see if Melanie was right behind us, but she turned around and headed away from us, only to find the waitresses hiding around the corner covering their mouths to contain their laughter.....
  Imagine the horror I will feel in church waiting for the inevitable outburst. "My dada loves butt's!" That would be my luck!