A delicate balance

One thing I have learned, even before Apollo and Orion were born, is that to a child, your word is your bond. If you say you are going to do something, you had better do it or it will be held against you. It can slowly eat away at the trust that exists between you and your child as they begin to see you as not being honest, and will eventually accuse you of being a liar. So herein lies the rub; how do you keep the trust between you and your children, when a big part of who you are is sarcastic and flippant? It is a delicate balance. I feel that one of my strongest traits is that I deliver what I promise to my boys. If I promise a reward for and achievement, I will deliver. If I promise a penalty, I will stick to it. This is why I never threaten with more than what I am willing to dole out. Furthermore, I do not want to over threaten out of anger, just to turn around and let them off the hook easily. For Apollo, it can be as simple as 5 minutes without a favorite toy. At this stage it makes as big of a point as a whole week, although I have successfully done that as well, but it was not easy.
  On the flip side of this, it is the sarcasm and flippancy that gets me into trouble, because I am almost never serious and nearly always sarcastic.
"Dada," Apollo's trembling voice starts in "mama's not letting me have what I want. I want you to be rough with her."
Delighted because Apollo is speaking my kind of language now, I reply, "Okay, I'm going to be rough with her, right now! Okay?"
"Yeah but dada," he protests, "You always say that you are going to be rough to mama, and I've been watching and you never are! I want you to be rough to her for real!"
  On the one hand, I am proud that I am showing my son that no mater how unjust it may seem, you never treat a lady roughly. On the other hand, I am horrified that my son thinks I have been lying to him. Perplexed, I pondered upon this for some time and conclude that the next time, I must take action...and so I did. There was this whole graham cracker incidence that left Apollo upset. Of course I arrived on the scene just in time to "fix" the problem. I waited for the magic words, "...I want you to be rough to mama...for real." I snuck up behind Melanie, standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes, grabbed her in a bear hug around her waste, squeezed, lifted her into the air, and then shook her back and forth. Giggles came from Apollo, his friend Xavier, and Orion, and then all out laughter. I was feeling pretty smug at this moment, when all of the sudden, an angry voice breaks in, "I am holding a knife and I am looking for a place to put it!" Melanie made her point, so I set her down gently, kissed her neck and then slowly  backed away keeping my hands firmly around the backs of her elbows until I was in the "safe" zone, or what is known to a boy scout as being outside of someone's "Blood Circle".
  I admit that I enjoy living life on the edge. I take Melanie right to her tipping point and then bring her back from the edge. Now that we have children together, I can look back and realize that my personality traits, or "flaws" as Melanie likes to call them, were and are a necessary evil. I had been unknowingly preparing her all along to deal with my offspring. I admit they are a handful. Perfect to me in every way, yet in Melanie's eyes, they have inherited some of my character "flaws".  The manifestation of my essence within my boys, is the icing on the cake of life for me.

  "Mama! Come here! Right now!" Orion's forceful demeanor shines through as he makes his demands,  "I wan' hold you." he follows Melanie from the bedroom while I am trying to put him and and Apollo to sleep. Orion is an amazing little man. He is a chatterbox and a great communicator for his age. He wants to help with everything around the house from vacuuming to raking leaves in the yard. He also very forceful and demanding. I suppose Apollo was to at this age, but Orion is a lot "busier" and more hands on.
  My favorite Orion moment this summer cam in early August; My parents were in town. We were on an outing with them, and upon returning to the trusty ol' mini van, everyone was getting into their seats and Orion decided it was party time. He was climbing all about the car squealing with delight and laughing hysterically as I tried to grab him to put him in his car seat, which is located directly behind the drivers seat in the middle row. This went on for several moments, when Melanie finally corralled him on the opposite side of the van and gave him a gentle nudge towards his seat. It was instant theatrics; tears, fake crying, and fists rubbing the eyes. After 2 or 3 seconds, Orion proclaimed, "Mama, mean!"
  Orion loves to tell me about mama and Apollo being "mean" to him. With his mom, it is usually a direct result of being told, "No." With his brother, it is usually valid as Apollo loves to pester Orion. I get a full report when I get home from work and at 2-years-old, Orion is brutally honest.
  "Dada, Apollo mean. Apollo owie, right there!" He will tell me as he points to his arm where Apollo likes to pinch him.
  "Was mama mean to you today too?" I ask empathetically, holding him in my arms.
  "Yeah!" he begins, "Mama, Ori'nan, time out."
  "Do you want me to be rough to her?"
  "Yeah!" he replies and then lays his head on my shoulder in an effort to gather all the sympathy that he can. Often, I will walk up behind Melanie, and much to Orion's delight, give her a little smack on the butt.

  In Melanie's defense, I will have to say that I ask Orion nearly everyday if his mama was mean to him, and his answer is usually, "No. Mama nice, Ori'nan."

  Apollo is thriving in kindergarten. It has been over 5 weeks and we can see the effects that school has had on him. Apollo is not only more receptive to instruction from his teachers than his parents, but the benefit of seeing how other kids do things, has been an added bonus. His coloring of an object has transformed from mere scribbles across each drawing to a deliberate attempt to stay in the lines. His free form drawing has always been much better and more interesting. I think that he is a true, 'abstract' thinker. Upon inspection of a poster that his table of 6 kids made for a "Safari" event, we saw a box shaped stick person that was undeniably Apollo's art work. There were nice pictures all over the poster board, but there was also a long deliberate scribble that seamed random, and to the untrained eye, it would look like a kid scribbled over most of the poster and even over some of the other kids art work. Knowing this had to be my sons doing, I asked Apollo, "Who did this?"
  "Oh, I did," he replied proudly. Melanie's eyebrows raised, I could see the sinking feeling on her face as if to say, "Oh man, I have 'that' kid."
  "It's a safari," Apollo continued, "Safari's are adventures and you have to travel through the jungle and you cant tell where you are going." Ah yes, it all made sense, This was a road map of his safari adventure, and not some random scribbling. If only the other parents could be convinced.
  Apollo is learning the Spanish alphabet and their sounds now. He has known the English alphabet for a couple years, and also can recognize and read small words in English, but to watch him learn the Spanish letters so quickly is fun for us. It is funny because they teach him almost exclusively in Spanish, so he is used to hearing the language and can understand more than I thought he would be able to after only five weeks. I can point to something and say to him, "¿Cómo se dice en español?" Without even realizing that I asked him something in Spanish, he will answer and tell me the word in Spanish of the object I am pointing to. Other times I will call to Apollo as he is playing with his toys, "Apollo, levanta la mano!" (raise your hand) His arm will raise almost involuntarily. And of course, not to be left out, Orion will copy Apollo. "Dada," an irritated Apollo replies, "no mas! I'm not doing any more spanish today!"